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ET 31

Editorial Thunder presents...

“Comments” Silenced

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by Andrew Roller

Silence is golden at censorious You Tube.

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Every video on You Tube has a section where “Comments” can be added.  It is a section below the video.  ( If you access You Tube on the World Wide Web, using your phone, you’ll need to scroll down to find the “Comments” section. )

You Tube’s censorship rampage continues.  One part of You Tube’s censorship regime is denying comments to channel owners.  Many young creators now turn “Comments” off for their videos.  They don’t want to do this.  You Tube’s new “Terms of Service” oblige them to.  ( As in any tyrannical regime, various forces are at play, including hypocritical enforcement and dissent. ) 

A creator might allow “Comments” for a short period of time.  Having gotten some comments for her video, she’ll turn “Comments” off.  After that, as much as you, a viewer, like a creator’s work, you won’t be able to praise her.  Nor will you be able to offer suggestions.

In my experience as a viewer, You Tube has never had a problem with young creators being bullied.  The vast majority of comments that I’ve read have been effusive with praise.  That’s the problem.  “Adults” praising a video by a “child” violates You Tube’s segregationist, Neo-Fascist mission.  As a 1990’s slogan on a Minute Maid juice carton put it,

“Adults only speak to adults, never to children.”

You Tube is supposed to be a neutral platform for speech.  The U.S. Congress gave You Tube an exception in law because it promised to be such a platform.  You Tube claims it is neutral.  So does Facebook, which has the same exception in law.

However, You Tube is not a neutral platform for speech.  Nor is Facebook.  You’ve doubtless seen the various news stories showing that You Tube and Facebook are political actors, intent on forcing their “norms” on America, and the world.

You may think segregation is a thing of the past.  Race segregation may be a thing of the past.  However, in America, segregation by race has been replaced by segregation by age.

You Tube’s view of young creators is Neo-Fascist.  This is my phrase for left-wing social conservatism.  You Tube’s “Terms of Service” and “Community Guidelines” reflect its Neo-Fascist agenda.  You Tube routinely deletes videos by young creators.  Any number of these deletions are pointless.  The rest seek to impose Neo-Fascist views in regard to a girl’s actions and attire.

Let’s say you watch a girl’s video on You Tube.  Braveheart that you are, you decide to comment on the girl’s video.  A jungle of obstacles lies in wait.  I detail the obstacles below.  Think of them as different states of matter.  Water can be a solid (ice ), a liquid ( water ), and a gas ( steam ).

1.  “Comments are turned off” ( no period ).  No comments are present.  No one can add a comment to the video.  ( Often, comments were present earlier, but they aren’t now. )

2.  “Add a public comment...”  You add a comment.  It does not appear.  This occurs despite the fact that other people’s comments are present.  This means that the channel owner has ceased accepting comments for this video.  No new comments can be posted.

3.  “Add a public comment...”  You add a comment.  It appears.  However, the number by “Comments” doesn’t change.  Quit the You Tube app.  Reboot it.  If the number by “Comments” is still unchanged, this means that the channel owner has set “Comments” to “private”.  You can read what you posted.  The channel owner can read what you posted.  However, no one else can read what you posted.

The You Tube app is different from You Tube on the World Wide Web.  Your comment on the You Tube app might be “private”, but your comment on the World Wide Web may be “public”.  Or the reverse of this may be true.

4.  “Add a public comment...”  You add a comment.  It appears.  The number by “Comments” increases.  ( From, say, 8 to 9. )  ( You may need to quit and reboot the You Tube app first. )  If you can read your comment, and the number by “Comments” increased, your comment is readable by you, the channel’s owner, and the public.


FACEBOOK DEFINED ...

“From the moment that [ false ] ‘Daily Beast’ article went live, there had been nothing but obfuscation, doublespeak, and question dodging from the management team at ... Facebook.  What kind of bullshit was that?  Where was that famous Facebook ‘transparency’ that we’ve all been hearing about for years?”

- Blake J. Harris, summarizing the thoughts of Facebook employee Christopher Dycus.  The History of the Future:  Oculus, Facebook, and the revolution that swept virtual reality, page 521.  ( Amazon Kindle. )

( For the falsity of the ‘Daily Beast’ article, see, among other references, pages 481, 529, and 539. )


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

The World Wide Web address for my You Tube channel is:

https://www.youtube.com/andrewroller

If you click on this link, you’ll be taken to a World Wide Web You Tube page.  Here, You Tube displays a cartoon image of a monkey.  The page says, “This page isn’t available.  Sorry about that.  Try searching for something else.”  

My advice:  on this page, search for “andrew roller”.  By doing so, you’ll get to my World Wide Web You Tube channel.  However, I have 99 Playlists, that I created, at my You Tube app channel.  The World Wide Web version of You Tube will only serve you 15 of my Playlists.  

( Hence, access You Tube via its app.  The You Tube app, like the WordPress app, is available for free at the Apple App Store. )

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 31

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 31, version 2.0

Date Written:  April 30, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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ET 30

Editorial Thunder presents...

Danatar2 BANNED

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by Andrew Roller

You Tube attacks a 12-year-old girl.

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Once again, Google has destroyed information.  Google owns You Tube.  You Tube has terminated the channel Danatar2.

Dana Taranova is a 12-year-old girl who lives in Kiev, Ukraine.  She has over half a million followers on the internet.  Dana has a presence on the social media platforms Likee, Instagram, and You Tube.

On You Tube, Dana had four channels.  They were:

Danatar

Danatar2  ( Formerly known as “Dana Taranova”. )

Dana Tar Gym

Dana Tar Life  ( Also known as “Danatar Life”. )

Recently, I noticed that You Tube’s staff was attacking Dana’s videos.  They did this on a daily basis.  Here’s what happened:

At about 9:30 a.m. United States ( Pacific ) time, two of Dana’s videos were deleted by You Tube.  The [Deleted video] notice stated the following:

“This video has been removed for violating YouTube’s Terms of Service.”

Or, the [Deleted video] notice stated:

“This video has been removed for violating YouTube’s Community Guidelines”.

I have read You Tube’s Terms of Service.  You Tube’s Terms of Service direct the reader to You Tube’s Community Guidelines.  Hence, in terms of a [Deleted video], violating You Tube’s Terms of Service is interchangeable with violating You Tube’s Community Guidelines.

At about 2 p.m. United States ( Pacific ) time, Dana’s deleted videos reappeared on You Tube.  The inference I drew from this was that Dana appealed the termination of her two videos, and won her appeals.

This happened every day during the week of April 20 - April 25.  It even happened on Saturday.  It may have been happening prior to this, but I either didn’t notice, or my memory of the prior week has merged with my memory of the week just gone by.

None of Dana’s videos were objectionable.  One video that You Tube deleted is called, “7 minutes Stretching the feet of a professional gymnast. Dana Tar Gym”.  In this video, Dana is about 10 years old.  She is wearing a blouse and long trousers.  She spends the video on a gym mat, flexing her legs and toes.  Dana is doing this as a professional gymnast, performing the exercises of such.

“7 minutes Stretching the feet” returned to You Tube several hours after it was deleted.  This followed the daily practice of You Tube deleting two of Dana’s videos, only to have Dana win her appeals.

The attacks on Dana’s videos were hypocritical and mean-spirited.  They were the actions of one or more adult You Tube employees bullying a child.

On Monday, April 27, You Tube declared at least one of Dana’s videos to be in violation of You Tube’s Community Guidelines.  The “[Deleted video]” that I noticed with this designation was “MODEL IN BLACK. Full version.”  In this video, Dana is modeling a black outfit.  It consists of a top, shorts, and leggings.  Dana is modeling this outfit in a professional modeling shoot.  Nothing Dana is doing in this shoot is any different from her usual movements, in her various videos.  Nor are her movements different from those of other models, or girls on You Tube. 

“MODEL IN BLACK. Full version.” was a video on the channel Danatar2.  It is possible that You Tube attacked this video in order to terminate the channel Danatar2.

My belief is that a single employee at You Tube decided to bully Dana.  I say this because a similar event happened to me.  Nonetheless, the culture at You Tube is horrid.  You Tube has been attacking young female creators since at least last September, when I joined You Tube.  I have seen many girls on You Tube pointlessly victimized by You Tube’s employees.

Political commentator Pat Buchanan once made a remark about the National Endowment for the Arts.  Of it, he said, 

“Shut it down, padlock it, and fumigate the building!”

This is what needs to be done to You Tube.  Even Pat Buchanan would have no objection to the videos that You Tube’s staff is deleting.  God knows what psychic pain they’re inflicting on young creators, globally.

Nevertheless, she persisted.  Dana Taranova has begun a new channel on You Tube.  It is called, “Danatar Backstage”.  My hunch is that it will feature videos of her professional modeling shoots.  Who films these “backstage” shoots?  Her mother and father.  They film many of her videos, including at the gym.  If you’re an average reader, and watch one of Dana’s gym videos, you’ll discover an amazing fact.  At age 12, Dana can lift more than you can.  She can also do amazing gymnastic feats.

And in the end...

Wake up, Larry Page!

“They teach you in human computer interaction, which is my branch, that the user is never wrong.” - Larry Page.  ( In the Plex:  how Google thinks, works, and shapes our lives, by Steven Levy, Loc 461.  ( Amazon Kindle. )  Larry Page is the co-founder of Google, which owns You Tube. )


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

The World Wide Web address for my You Tube channel is:

https://www.youtube.com/andrewroller

If you click on this link, you’ll be taken to a World Wide Web You Tube page.  Here, You Tube displays a cartoon image of a monkey.  The page says, “This page isn’t available.  Sorry about that.  Try searching for something else.”  

My advice:  on this page, search for “andrew roller”.  By doing so, you’ll get to my World Wide Web You Tube channel.  However, I have 99 Playlists, that I created, at my You Tube app channel.  The World Wide Web version of You Tube will only serve you 15 of my Playlists.  

( Hence, access You Tube via its app.  The You Tube app, like the WordPress app, is available for free at the Apple App Store. )

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 30

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 30, version 3.0

Date Written:  April 28, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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BS 1

Breaking Story presents...

COVID Alert!

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by Andrew Roller

CDC:  Wiping your ass is essential to preventing infection.

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New guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend wiping your “buttocks, including the area of the anus,” at regular 15 minute intervals.  

The guidelines were released today in a joint news conference by Anthony S. Fallacy, M.D., D.D.S., director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases ( AIDS ), and Robert R. Deadfield, M.D., C.R.E., director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ( BCE ).

“Wiping your buttocks and anal area is proving more effective than wearing a mask,” Fallacy said.  “Based on new studies, the locus of the COVID-19 infection begins at the anus.  From there, it spreads through the body.”

“Wiping your ass really works,” Deadfield agreed.  “We’ve decided that wearing a mask is no substitute for attending to the area of your anus.”

“Of course, social distancing remains important,” Fallacy warned.  “Given the locus of COVID-19 invasion, that is, your anus, washing your hands will be more important than ever.”

At today’s press conference, the need for regular anal attendance raised questions.

“How will someone wipe their ass every 15 minutes?” a reporter queried.  “What if the person is in, say, a grocery store?”

“We’ll just have to get used to it,” Deadfield replied.  “This is going to have to be the new normal, if we want to protect our most precious resource, old people in old folks’ homes who are waiting to die.”

“That’s putting it rather bluntly,” Fallacy remarked.  He elaborated:

“Everyone should wipe their ass, I mean their buttocks and anal region, every 15 minutes.  This is essential to bending the curve.  Women should do this as well as men.  

“It simply can’t matter if you’re in public,” Fallacy continued.  “You’ll need to stop, drop [ your skirt or pants ], and apply baby wipes to your buttocks.”

“Do a thorough job wiping your ass,” Deadfield said.  “You won’t feel embarrassed doing this.  Not even if you’re in, say, the fruit aisle of a grocery.  That’s because everyone else will be regularly wiping their ass in public too.”

Fallacy and Deadfield were asked if people already exposed to the COVID-19 virus should wipe their asses, including in public.

“Having a uniform policy on combating COVID is critical,” Fallacy said.  “If everyone wipes their ass, every 15 minutes, we’ll bend the curve more.”

“Wiping your ass sends a message,” Deadfield agreed.  “By participating in this gesture, even if you’ve already had the virus, you show solidarity with your fellow Americans.”

“It’s the virtuous thing to do,” Fallacy said.  “We’re all in this together.”

“So we all need to wipe our asses together,” Deadfield said.

“But remember to do so 6 feet apart,” Fallacy said.

“And wash your hands!” Deadfield admonished.


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  BS, Breaking Story, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

The World Wide Web address for my You Tube channel is:

https://www.youtube.com/andrewroller

If you click on this link, you’ll be taken to a World Wide Web You Tube page.  Here, You Tube displays a cartoon image of a monkey.  The page says, “This page isn’t available.  Sorry about that.  Try searching for something else.”  

My advice:  on this page, search for “andrew roller”.  By doing so, you’ll get to my World Wide Web You Tube channel.  However, I have 99 Playlists, that I created, at my You Tube app channel.  The World Wide Web version of You Tube will only serve you 15 of my Playlists.  

( Hence, access You Tube via its app.  The You Tube app, like the WordPress app, is available for free at the Apple App Store. )

This is BS, Breaking Story, issue number 1.  Collector’s Edition!

Arcana:  This is BS, Breaking Story, issue number 1, version 2.0

Date Written:  April 13, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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ET 29

Editorial Thunder presents...

You Tube Abuse

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by Andrew Roller

You Tube destroyed one of my Playlists.

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Have you ever been lied to?  I’m being lied to by one of the world’s wealthiest companies.  Specifically, I’m being lied to by an employee of Google’s You Tube.  The lies are meant to victimize me.  It has taken time for me to figure out what is going on.  However, as Judas says, in the rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar, 

“My mind is clearer now.” 

You Tube is allowing a single employee to repeatedly attack me.  You Tube is doing this despite my repeated complaints about this person.

Consider:

I’ve been an active “Premium” ( paying ) member of You Tube since September.  I’ve had Playlists on You Tube throughout this time.  At no time, until March 24, did anyone tell me that I was breaking any of You Tube’s rules.

On March 24, my You Tube account was abruptly terminated.  I didn’t get any “strikes”, as You Tube promises.  My You Tube account was terminated without notice, while I was using it.

My You Tube account isn’t the only thing that was terminated.  My use of every Google product was terminated.  I had to figure out how to restore these.  

Meanwhile, a new You Tube account had been created for me, by the You Tube employee who’s bullying me.  I had immediate access to that You Tube account.  However, it lacked the Subscriptions, notifications, Library information, Playlists, and Comments of my Premium You Tube account.  As best I can recall, this “junk” You Tube account was a Premium account, but without You Tube Music.  That would soon change.

I appealed the termination of my real You Tube Premium account.  On March 24, my real You Tube Premium account was restored.  I was unaware of this restoration.  Hence, I did not use my real You Tube Premium account.  I wasn’t on You Tube at all.

Nonetheless, on March 25, my real You Tube Premium account was terminated again!  I couldn’t possibly have done anything to deserve this termination, as I hadn’t even been on You Tube.  This termination barred me from Google’s Gmail.  However, I somehow was able to use Google’s Gmail with little trouble.  I do have a notice from Google stating that my Gmail account had, once again, been “recovered”.

Like you, I have other things to do besides use You Tube.  I had to buy toilet paper and food.  ( Yes, all the toilet paper was sold out. )

On March 27, I appealed the termination of my ( real ) You Tube Premium account.  

Meanwhile, the “junk” You Tube account no longer operated at the Premium level.  It now forced me to watch ads.  ( That was actually a good thing.  You Tube’s bully hoped I’d forget about my normal You Tube account, and use the junk one that lacked my Subscriptions, notifications, Library information, Playlists, and Comments.  Of course, You Tube’s bully was at liberty to destroy this account too. )

On April 2, You Tube restored my ( real ) You Tube Premium account.  That didn’t mean that the bully at You Tube was going to stop bullying me.

On April 3, about twelve hours after my ( real ) You Tube Premium account had been restored, I got this e-mail:

“Hi Andrew Roller,

“The YouTube community flagged one or more of your playlists as inappropriate.  After reviewing the content, we’ve determined that the playlist violates our Community Guidelines.  As a result, we removed the following playlist from YouTube:

“Best songs!  ( Part unnumbered )

“Please note that this removal has not resulted in a strike on your channel.”  

[ You Tube’s policy is to give no strike, followed by three strikes in turn.  Then the user’s account is terminated. ]

“We encourage you to review all playlists in your account to make sure they are in line with our community guidelines.  Additional violations could result in strikes on your account, or even lead to account termination.  If you believe this was a mistake, we’d like to hear from you.  To appeal this removal, please submit this form.  [ The word “form” is a link. ]  Our team will thoroughly review your appeal and will contact you again soon.

“For more information please visit the YouTube Help Center.

“Sincerely,

“- The YouTube Team”

( You Tube uses only a single space between sentences.  For readability, I’ve reproduced this e-mail using two spaces. )

Let’s start with the lies this e-mail contains:

1.  “The YouTube community flagged one or more of your playlists as inappropriate.”

No one in “the YouTube community” flagged my Playlist, “Best songs!  ( Part unnumbered )”.  The bully sent me this e-mail.  How do I know this?

A.  I’ve had Playlists on You Tube for seven months.

B.  It is highly suspicious that a member of the You Tube community would “flag” my Playlist just twelve hours after my You Tube account was restored.

2.  “After reviewing the content, we’ve determined that the playlist violates our Community Guidelines.  As a result, we removed the following playlist from YouTube”

A.  “We” didn’t review the content.  You Tube’s bully viewed my Playlist.

B.  “We” didn’t remove the Playlist.  You Tube’s bully took sole action against me.

Now let’s look at the rest of this e-mail:

“To appeal this removal, please submit this form.”  

Previously, I’ve bemoaned the small amount of space that You Tube gives for letters of appeal, regarding an account termination.  That space allows about three short paragraphs.  

You should see the tiny amount of space that You Tube gives to appeal removal of a Playlist!  Space for three short sentences is allowed.  When I was appealing my account termination(s), I was able to break up my letter and submit it in parts.  That isn’t possible when making a Playlist appeal.  You get one chance.  If you screw it up, too bad.  You Tube’s Playlist appeal form only lets you touch the “Submit” button one time.  Then, while the page remains, the Playlist appeal form disappears.  If your appeal is denied, no further appeals for that Playlist are allowed.

Just finding You Tube’s Playlist appeal form was a trial. In their e-mail, I tapped the link marked “form”.  That took me to a page on You Tube. 

At this page, I couldn’t find the Playlist appeal form.  It wasn’t there.  Eventually, I realized that this page was for my junk You Tube account.  When I realized this, I then had to figure out how to switch to my normal You Tube account.  I accomplished that.  However, I still couldn’t find the Playlist appeal form.  I was at a page that showed my existing Playlists, of which I have 99.  Why would You Tube show me my existing Playlists?  That isn’t going to help me write about my Playlist that You Tube destroyed.  I had no access to that Playlist.

Eventually, I found the Playlist appeal form, on some adjoining page.  I’m not sure how I reached that page.  Later on, however, when I tapped “form” in You Tube’s e-mail, in my Google Gmail account, I was taken directly to the Playlist appeal form.  I sent You Tube three short sentences there, as my appeal, in You Tube’s tiny Playlist appeal box.

I decided to see if I could send “feedback” to You Tube Support.  I’d done this once before.  When I did, You Tube Support blocked me from posting Comments to a You Tube channel.  They never sent me any notice acknowledging this.  I was simply blocked, for contacting them.  Some days later, I was unblocked.  

Girding my loins against another sneaky backlash, I sent “feedback” to You Tube Support.  I sent them a longer version of what I’d put in the tiny You Tube Playlist appeal box.  Here’s an excerpt:  ( For readability, I’m limiting use of quotation marks. )

“Dear You Tube,

You write,

Hi Andrew Roller,

The YouTube community flagged one or more of your playlists as inappropriate.  After reviewing the content, we’ve determined that the playlist violates our Community Guidelines.  As a result, we removed the following playlist from YouTube:

Best songs!  ( Part unnumbered )

My response is as follows:

1.  I have never uploaded any video to You Tube.

2.  My Playlists are constructed entirely with videos that You Tube has allowed on You Tube.

3.  Every video that was in my Playlist ‘Best songs!  ( Part Unnumbered )’ remains on You Tube.”

I complained ( again ) about being bullied.

As of this writing, I’ve not heard back from anyone at You Tube.  No further bullying has occurred, yet.  Today could be the bully’s day off.

I’ll now discuss another problem I’ve had.  On April 2, my You Tube account was ( again ) restored.  However, every time I logged in to my normal You Tube account, You Tube demanded that I provide the password to my junk You Tube account.  I complied, repeatedly.  However, every time, You Tube declared my current, valid password to be no good.  Fortunately, Apple’s software provided the word “Cancel” in You Tube’s password box.  Having failed to convince the password box of my legitimacy, I began tapping “Cancel” each time the password box appeared.

Some hours on, that method stopped working.  I was hit by You Tube’s password box repeatedly.  It demanded a valid password to my junk You Tube account.  Nothing could get rid of this password box.  Failing to satisfy it, I was barred from using my normal You Tube account.

My hunch is that this was more bullying by You Tube’s rogue employee.

Finally, You Tube’s password box told me to input my Apple password, followed by my password for the junk You Tube account.  This was odd, as only one password space was provided inside the password box.

I did as the password box demanded.  I put the two passwords in it.  How did I do that?  I put my Apple password in the single space that was present.  When the box ( immediately ) reappeared, I put in the password for my junk You Tube account.

How did the password box reply?  It told me ( of course ) that I had failed.

A minute or so later, You Tube’s password box disappeared.  I haven’t been troubled by it since.

On reflection, it’s possible that You Tube’s bully now has my Apple password.  As I use that password for other online accounts, a big problem could be looming for me.  However, as yet, I have no idea what to do about this.  Am I supposed to now run around on the internet, changing all my existing passwords?  I don’t even know how to change my Apple password.  I’ve researched this, and found nothing relevant.  My Apple iPad only lets me change the passcode that inhibits access to my iPad, the physical device.

Trying to change my password at a host of internet sites would likely result in me locking myself out of those sites.  The same is probably true of my Apple account.  My refusal to bank online now works to my advantage.  I don’t even use ATMs.  ( Automatic Teller Machines. )  The real tellers at my bank are cute!

Currently, my normal You Tube account is up and running.  However, I doubt this is the end of the matter.  You Tube cites the Covid-19 virus whenever I send “feedback”, or an appeal.  However, You Tube’s bully is swift to attack me anew.  The first time my You Tube account was terminated, it was early Monday morning.  Not, say, 6 a.m., but just after midnight.  Functionally, my You Tube account was terminated late on a Sunday night.  Who’s even awake at that hour?  You Tube’s bully.  Later, the bully terminated my account before I even knew it had been restored.  However,  my second appeal to You Tube, regarding the second termination of my You Tube account, took nearly a week to be answered.

What if, during this time, I’d had the Covid-19 virus?  I would have had no ability to respond to attacks by You Tube’s bully.  I’ve needed my full mental strength to even understand what is happening.  Not just who’s attacking me ( an anonymous rogue You Tube employee ), but how to respond.  I can’t easily figure out how to restore a destroyed Google Gmail account, and a destroyed Google browser.  I can’t write as I’m doing now if I’m feverish and short of breath.

About a month ago, I was repeatedly knocked off of You Tube.  I’d be on You Tube for about two minutes, and then I’d get ejected.  This happened again and again, for several weeks.  Was You Tube’s bully doing this to me?  Did You Tube’s bully then choose this period, of the Covid-19 crisis, to ( repeatedly ) attack my You Tube account?  I can only speculate.

If you’re looking for a way to summarize my current troubles, it’s this:

Though my conduct on You Tube has been the same since I’ve joined, I am getting hit, now, with repeated terminations of my account.  One of my Playlists was abruptly destroyed.

You might wonder what was in my Playlist.  This is difficult for me to answer, as I have no access to this Playlist!  You Tube destroyed it without warning.  As best I can recall, my Playlist had about six songs in it.  They were 1960’s era songs.  Most of these songs were not in the form of a moving video.  A single image showed as the song played.

My destroyed Playlist had a Lenny Kravitz video, “American Woman”.  Is You Tube’s bully a racist?  I top most of my Playlists with a video by an attractive female.  My destroyed Playlist may have had a video of Dana Taranova dancing.  She was dancing to music.

I’ve spent long hours making my Playlists.  As ( poor ) luck would have it, my Playlist “Best songs!  ( Part unnumbered )” had several changes of title.  Most recently, I found I had two Playlists with the same title.  That’s how “Best songs!  ( Part unnumbered )” wound up with an odd title.  

You Tube is in the middle of ( yet another ) censorship rampage.  It has been deleting videos by young creators.  Some of these topped my various Playlists.  Hence, “Best videos!  ( Part unnumbered )” had several headlining videos, in turn, destroyed by You Tube. 

I imagine I’ll get kicked out of You Tube somehow.  This is too bad, as I was monitoring their treatment of creators, particularly young creators, on You Tube.  I was reporting on You Tube’s conduct here at my blog site.  I won’t be able to perform that watchdog function if You Tube kicks me out.  It is impossible to monitor You Tube using what You Tube puts on the World Wide Web.  That version of You Tube is very truncated.  I have 99 Playlists on You Tube.  On the World Wide Web, you’ll find just 15.  The same is true of videos posted by creators.  You’ll find just 15 videos at the channel “Dana Taranova” on the World Wide Web version of You Tube.  More are available on the You Tube app, which I likely won’t have access to.

In the 1980’s and 1990’s, I visited various BBSs ( Bulletin Board Services ).  Each BBS was, mostly, run by a single individual.  I posted my writings to all sorts of BBSs.  Most accepted my content.  A few BBSs did not.  Some of these went to flamboyant lengths to let me know that my writing wasn’t wanted.  I also mailed out xeroxed pamphlets.  One of these came back to me in an envelope.  Inside, I found my pamphlet, torn to small pieces.

Hence, I’m used to rejection.  However, You Tube isn’t a BBS.  It isn’t some guy who doesn’t like a pamphlet in his mailbox.  It is said, of American companies, that some are “too big to fail”.  You Tube is too big to be allowed to attack individual creators as it is currently doing.  In my opinion, all these big social media platforms, like You Tube and Facebook, should be designated as utilities.  The electric company might not like what I write.  However, it isn’t allowed to cut off my electric service, so I can’t power my iPad.  The same should be true of You Tube.  Unless someone is violating a relevant American law, the user should be allowed on You Tube. 

Let’s consider the word “user”.  I suppose it comes from America’s drug culture.  Possibly, it was repurposed to the world of computers, to validate drug use.  One “uses” cocaine, and is a “user” of a computer.  In the 1990’s, I chuckled at the word “user”.  It was akin to the word “gay”, which destigmatized homosexuality, and even celebrated it.  

Today, one is a “user” of social media platforms.  I now loathe the word “user”.  I don’t consider myself a “user” of You Tube.  I’m a paying customer of You Tube.  And we know the status this brings:

“The customer is always right.”

“The customer is king.”

A customer is important.  An employee of You Tube takes money from You Tube.  ( Presumably, for services rendered. )  However, a customer of You Tube brings money to You Tube.  I pay You Tube nearly $200.00 a year.  I’m not doing this to be bullied.

Specifically, I’m not paying for a campaign of harassment to be conducted against me by a lying You Tube employee.  The bully attacks my account, and then sends me a form letter representing “The YouTube Team”, and “The YouTube Community”.  Google’s You Tube is allowing a lone employee to repeatedly terminate my account, with no notice, and abruptly destroy one of my Playlists. 

If this can happen to me, it can happen to you.  I hope we can reform social media platforms like You Tube and Facebook.  I fear that Big Tech may one day be our “overlords”, as they’re already boasting of becoming.  Do you want to be a stifled prole in a world run by “tech gods”?


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

The World Wide Web address for my You Tube channel is:

https://www.youtube.com/andrewroller

If you click on this link, you’ll be taken to a World Wide Web You Tube page.  Here, You Tube displays a cartoon image of a monkey.  The page says, “This page isn’t available.  Sorry about that.  Try searching for something else.”  

My advice:  on this page, search for “andrew roller”.  By doing so, you’ll get to my World Wide Web You Tube channel.  However, I have 99 Playlists, that I created, at my You Tube app channel.  The World Wide Web version of You Tube will only serve you 15 of my Playlists.  

( Hence, access You Tube via its app.  The You Tube app, like the WordPress app, is available for free at the Apple App Store. )

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 29
Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 29, version 16


Date Written:  April 6, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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ET 28

Editorial Thunder presents...

Silenced by You Tube

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by Andrew Roller

You Tube destroyed all my Comments.

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Recently, my account was suspended by You Tube.  I appealed.  You Tube unsuspended my account.  Before I was even aware of this, You Tube suspended my account again.  I appealed.  About a week later, You Tube unsuspended my account.  Their e-mail in this regard is as follows:

“Hi there,

“After a review of your account, we have confirmed that your YouTube account is not in violation of our Terms of Service.  As such, we have unsuspended your account.  This means your account is once again active and operational.”

There’s just one problem.  Every comment I made on You Tube, over the last seven months, has been erased.

If you’d like to read my comments, I’m providing two of them here.  

Channel:  Dana Taranova.

Video title:  [ In Cyrillic. ]

Subject:  Eleven-year-old Dana Taranova gives a summer tour of her city:  Kiev, Ukraine. 

My comment:

Dear Dana,

Someone once said, “Gentleman don’t read other gentlemen’s mail.”  I agree with this.

However, you’re a ( wonderful ) girl.  I went through your replies, to other people, who’d commented on your gym video:  “One more real training in the gym.  December 12, 2019.”

I saw a reply from “Dana Taranova.”  Not “Danatar”.  The icon was different, too.

I tapped the strange icon.  That led me to your new You Tube channel!

I knew you had super powers.  But your powers are truly amazing — you’ve banished winter from where you live!

Guess what?  Your city is much more beautiful than where I live, in San Diego.  I’ve lived in other places too, like Honolulu, Hawaii.  Your city is prettier than Honolulu.

I love your Old World architecture.  At the same time, you have modern structures.  I love how your city lights itself at night!

Your mall is the most beautiful I’ve ever been in.  The people in your land have a true sense of beauty, that Americans have yet to achieve.

I adore your cute voice!

You startled me when you stuck your tongue out at me, in the elevator!  Thanks for keeping the elevator ride interesting, as you pretended to be one of the ballerinas that are suspended in the air in your mall.  I get the sense that your mall is underground.  Canada, which is a cold place, also has underground malls, as does Russia.  

( Malls are built in the open air in San Diego.  That’s because people here think San Diego is warm.  I dislike San Diego’s open air malls.  I find them unbearably cold! )

You have a fabulous sense of style.  When you showed me the earrings you were about to buy, I was unsure if they’d look good on you.  In fact, they look wonderful!  Their red tassels go superbly with the red sunglasses you wear, in this video.

( Truly, if I saw you walk by me in a mall, I would be blown away!  I’m afraid I’d trail after you, like a hungry wolf. )  

I loved your store, with all the girl items in it.  I was intrigued by how you decided among them.  I figured out, from this video and another that you did, that you like pretend slime.  Other than that, your choices remain a mystery to me.  Then again, beautiful girls like you remain a mystery to me.

I love your charm bracelets.

Your backpack is the prettiest I’ve ever seen!  

Your outfit is excellent.  I love your white top and white shorts!

Your long, adorned ponytail is a delight.

I love the lily pads in your mall’s pond.

Lunch looked very healthy.  Are you sure you don’t want an American cheeseburger, with french fries?   

Thanks for the shots of the big clock, atop the tower.  The clock always told me what time it was, as you were shooting outdoors.  Conveniently, your clock displays what is known here, in America, as “military time”.  That is, time is measured on a 24 hour basis.  In America, civilians have yet to learn “military time”.  As with American inches, miles, and pounds, civilian time in America remains on a 12 hour basis:  1300 in the U.S. is simply 1 p.m. 

I adored the clock with the roman numerals, in the grass.  It looks like something from Alice in Wonderland!

I love sunset photos.  Thanks for showing me the sun as it set in your city, and the gorgeous nightfall.

You perhaps wonder what America is like.  I will tell you:

1.  Beauty is a throwaway item.  To the extent it exists, people ignore it.

2.  Americans at a mall are interested in one thing:  maximum consumption.  They buy as much as possible, as quickly as possible.  Consumption, while avidly pursued, is considered a burden.  Much that is bought is soon thrown away.  Or, it is donated to charities for the ( despised ) downtrodden.

3.  Hand in hand with maximum consumption is this:  maximum suspicion.  No one trusts anyone, especially a lone “man” like me.  ( Otherwise known as “a stranger”. )  Such attitudes do not improve our society.

So much for my social commentary.  Thanks for your fabulous city, and for being your awesome self!

Thanks for your kiss at the end!  So far, I only have to share your kiss with 118 other subscribers to your new channel.

You remain my favorite girl in the galaxy!

Channel:  Mrwcginwash.

Video title:  Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band ( 1976 ).

Subject:  A music video.  However, I’m replying to a comment made by another viewer.  

When you read a Comment in You Tube, it’s possible to Reply.  Hence, at this video, in reply to a Comment, you’ll see this:  “VIEW 267 REPLIES”.

Do you think anyone will see your reply if you leave one?  I doubt it.  Hence, I recommend this:  Don’t Reply, in the manner that You Tube provides.  Instead, leave a Comment.  Your Comment will be in a list of Comments under the video.  Any Reply is hidden inside someone else’s Comment.

When you reply in this fashion, mention who you’re replying to.  Summarize what that person said.  Then your reply will make sense.

My comment:

Of the 1970’s, Denny Hutsell writes, “it [ was ] a time that was pretty cool.  The culture back then was laid back and humble.”

I completely agree.  Recently, a T.V. commentator wrote off President Gerald Ford as a nonentity.  What did that commentator prefer, I wondered.  A moral crusade by Ed Meese, Reagan’s Attorney General?

Another pointless war in Vietnam?  In Iraq?  In Afghanistan?

Another war on drugs, like marijuana?

America was a great country in the 1970’s.  A person was free to do as he or she pleased, especially once Gerald Ford took office, followed by Jimmy Carter.

Sadly, Americans couldn’t handle being happy and free.  Change was needed.  Today, America is struggling to make the globe conform to its view of proper behavior.  America’s debt has exploded.  Humanity is more capable of destroying itself, with cruise and hypersonic nuclear missiles.  

Americans should wish Ford was back in the White House.  He didn’t feel a need to tear the country apart, and remake it in his ideological image.  Nor did Ford justify his presidency by strutting America on the world stage.  The country was at rest, and at peace, and remained so during the time of Carter.    

USE FOR A JUNK YOU TUBE CHANNEL

During my troubles with You Tube, I somehow acquired a junk You Tube channel.  I call it a “junk” channel because it forced me to watch ads.  Also, since it wasn’t my normal channel, it lacked my Subscriptions, notifications, Library information, Playlists, and Comments.

Now, I have my normal You Tube channel again.  However, every time I launch it, my normal channel demands the password to my junk channel.  I input this password.  You Tube tells me it is the wrong password.  There is no way, that I know of, to correct this problem.  

Fortunately, Apple’s iPad gives me the option to “Cancel” You Tube’s password request.  Hence, I Cancel the request.

I have some things to say about this problem.

1.  I don’t want the junk You Tube channel.

2.  However, during my troubles with You Tube, the junk You Tube channel was the only thing that kept me from having to access You Tube on the World Wide Web.

You Tube, on the World Wide Web, is crap, compared to the You Tube app.  On the World Wide Web, I’ve gone to the channel “Dana Taranova”.  I know what videos this channel has.  On the World Wide Web, You Tube does not display all the videos available at “Dana Taranova”.

3.  When my account was unsuspended by You Tube, I used the junk You Tube channel ( on the You Tube app ) to recover my normal You Tube channel.  You Tube’s e-mail to me, restoring my normal You Tube channel, included an e-mail link.  The purpose of this e-mail link was to restore my normal You Tube channel.  However, in You Tube’s various e-mails, I’ve found e-mail links that don’t work.

In summary, if you wind up with two You Tube channels, don’t delete the junk one.  It could be essential to the recovery of your normal You Tube channel.

If your normal You Tube channel gets suspended, you’ll want access to the junk You Tube channel.  Trying to watch You Tube on the World Wide Web isn’t just awful.  What You Tube provides on the World Wide Web is incomplete.

AVOID RECORDING ADS

If you have a junk You Tube channel, you may want to do a screen recording of a video.  However, there is a problem.  The video will be preceded by an advertisement.  Obviously, you don’t want to waste valuable memory on your iPad recording an ad.

Let the ad play.  The video will start after the ad.  Stop the video.  Rewind the video.  ( Pull the red ball, at the bottom of the video, all the way to the left. )  Set yourself up to do a screen recording.  ( This is covered in another article I’ve written. )  Now, start the video that you want to record. 

FIX YOU TUBE’S POOR VIDEO QUALITY

With regard to watching You Tube videos, in the You Tube app, as a Premium member, a new problem has arisen.  You Tube delivers poor video quality.  You Tube may do this even if the video was recorded at an excellent video quality.  Here’s how to fix this problem:

1.  Start the video.

2.  Tap the video, the actual moving picture, to stop it.  The area where the video plays will turn black.

3.  In the far right corner of this black area, you’ll see a line of three vertical dots.  These dots control how your video plays.

4.  Tap the line of three vertical dots.  

5.  An informational box appears.  At the top of this box is an icon.  It looks like a wheel.  By this wheel you’ll read, “Quality - Auto”.  A measure of the video’s quality is then given.  For instance, 480p, or 1080p60.

6.  Tap the highest video quality available.  You Tube will now play the video at the highest quality level.

In the past, I always left the setting on “Auto”.  You Tube gave me the best video quality available for that particular video.

Unfortunately, I’ve now had repeated instances where You Tube did not give me the best video quality.  If you’re going to do a screen recording of a video, tap on that line of three vertical dots.  Make sure you have the best video quality before you begin to record.

DON’T TAKE GOOGLE’S “SECURITY CHECKUP”

If you have any affiliation with Google, as a user, you’ll get a bi-monthly “Security Checkup”.  This arrives in the form of an e-mail.  My advice:  ignore this security checkup.  You Tube isn’t going to give you a security checkup.  What will Google do?  They’ll tell you that your current, valid password is incorrect.  You’ll be forced to create a new password.  

In my experience, something went wrong with this process.  Trying to create a new password, I nearly locked myself out of all Google’s products.  Google claimed I wasn’t me.  Google kept claiming this, to my immense frustration.  Google provided no phone number allowing me to speak with a human being. 

It is ridiculous for Google to send out a bi-monthly “Security Checkup”.  Google consists of the following services:

1.  A search engine.  ( Like “DuckDuckGo”. )

2.  An e-mail service.  ( Like Apple’s e-mail service, or the many e-mail services on the internet. )

3.  Google Drive.  ( Like Apple’s iCloud Drive. )

4.  You Tube.  ( Like Mark Yuckerberg’s Instagram. )

Do you see anything unique about Google?  Sure, I like having access to Google’s products.  However, time will show that there wasn’t anything crucial about them.  Google’s assets aren’t England’s crown jewels.  You’re not going to launch a nuclear missile with a Google product.

MORE YOU TUBE CENSORSHIP

You Tube’s censorship rampage continues.  The latest victims are videos by numerous You Tube creators.  Also, You Tube has terminated the channel “Poringa error”.  This channel had videos starring Zhenya.  ( A beautiful young model. )  The existing You Tube channel Fernando Cabure has Zhenya videos.  However, these videos are different from the ones that Poringa error had.

COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU TUBE

America’s big social media platforms are notorious for censoring people.  Facebook, which owns Instagram, is the worst offender.  Unlike You Tube, Facebook provides no opportunity to appeal an account termination.  Being kicked out of Facebook means one can’t ever access Instagram.  ( Note to Facebook:  many internet platforms now encourage sharing with friends.  You no longer have a “ring fenced” platform. )  ( A “ring fenced” company is one that is so unique that little competition with it is possible.  For instance, Arnold Schwarzenegger, as a personality, remains “ring fenced”.  No bodybuilder has attained his god-like status. )

Let’s say you get screwed over.  The offender might be Facebook, or You Tube.  Assume that whatever appeals the company gives you fail.  Do you have other options?  Yes!

oag.ca.gov  This is an internet link to Xavier Becerra.  He’s the Attorney General of the state of California.  ( Google, You Tube, Facebook, and Instagram are located in California. )

I’ve seen Xavier Becerra many times on the Fox News Channel program, “Tucker Carlson Tonight”.  I recall voting for him.  Xavier is a very nice man.  ( If you’re wondering, Xavier is a Democrat, and Latino. )

At oag.ca.gov, there is a web page.  It’s titled, “Consumer Complaint Against A Business/Company”.  I was ready to fill out this form, complaining about You Tube, when I found that You Tube had unsuspended my account.  

There is a problem with this form.  In one part of the form, you have to put in a United States ( U.S. ) address.  However, elsewhere, the form says this:

“Please include the following information in the text of your message if relevant:  If you have a foreign ( non U.S. ) address.”

So, while Xavier Becerra wants to hear from you, his form isn’t quite able to do that ( for a person with a non U.S. address. ).  Nonetheless, if you’re a foreigner, you’re using You Tube, and paying You Tube money.  I’ll continue on this subject from the viewpoint of a foreigner complaining about You Tube.

If you need a U.S. address, to get Xavier Becerra’s form filled out, I suggest this:  use any U.S. address.  Don’t know one?  Enter the address for President Donald Trump’s White House.

Filling out Xavier Becerra’s form, you’ll put President Trump’s White House address into the form’s required fields.  Then, in your message, you’ll write in your own non U.S. address.  This should ensure that Xavier Becerra’s computer accepts your complaint.

You can also write to the U.S. Federal Trade Commission.  They regulate U.S. companies, including You Tube.

Here are two addresses for the U.S. Federal Trade Commission:

Federal Trade Commission 10990 Wilshire Blvd., #400 Los Angeles, CA 90024 USA 

I added “USA”, since you’ll be writing from a foreign address.

Here’s another address for the Federal Trade Commission:

Federal Trade Commission 600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, DC 20580 United States

In this case ( above ), I did not add “United States”.  It was printed on their web page.  That means that the Federal Trade Commission definitely wants to hear from you, at your foreign address, if you have a complaint against a United States company, like You Tube.

The web page for the Federal Trade Commission is:  ftc.gov

LAUNCH THE MOVEMENT

I would like to see a movement begin.  Its mission would be to end harassment by companies like Facebook, or You Tube.  A title for such a movement might be, “Stop Big Tech Censorship.”

Sadly, companies like Facebook and You Tube have a limited interest in being platforms for videos.  What really interests them?  Social engineering.  Worse, these companies have an ill-defined agenda.  The agenda may be defined by whichever employee at these platforms is working that day.


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  The web address for my You Tube channel is:

https://www.youtube.com/andrewroller

If you click on this internet link, you’ll be taken to a You Tube page.  Here, You Tube displays a cartoon image of a monkey.  The page says, “This page isn’t available.  Sorry about that.  Try searching for something else.”  My advice:  On this page, search for “andrew roller”.  By doing so, you’ll get to my You Tube channel.  However, I have about 40 Playlists, that I created, at my channel.  You Tube will only serve you 15.  ( Hence, access You Tube via its app.  The You Tube app, like the WordPress app, is available for free at the Apple App Store. )

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 28

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 28, version 5.0

Date Written:  April 3, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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ET 27

Editorial Thunder presents...

Terminated?  How to Appeal

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by Andrew Roller

Read this before You Tube kicks you out.

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Are you a member of You Tube?  On You Tube, how often have you seen the following:

“This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated.”

I’ve seen that notice a lot.  What happens to a poor soul whose You Tube account is terminated?  What will you do if your You Tube account is terminated?  

Furthermore, what if getting kicked out of You Tube also gets you kicked out of your Google gmail account?  And your Google Drive?  And even the ability to use Google’s web browser?  That’s what happened to me.  I’m going to approach getting kicked out of You Tube from this perspective.

Let’s get the lingo down first.  You Tube uses two words that mean the same thing.  In an e-mail, You Tube will refer to your “terminated” You Tube account as being “suspended”.  

In an e-mail, Google will refer to your “terminated” Google gmail account as being “disabled”.  

( Google owns You Tube. ) 

If your You Tube account is terminated ( “suspended” ) it is possible for you to file an appeal.  You will file this appeal with You Tube.  Sadly, You Tube doesn’t make it easy for you to understand when you’re filing an appeal.  Let’s go through You Tube’s appeal process.

1.  If you get kicked out of You Tube, you will get e-mails from Google and You Tube.  These e-mails are from two entirely different sources.  E-mails from Google are about your Google gmail account.  E-mails from You Tube are about your You Tube account.  Furthermore, You Tube will only send e-mails to your Google gmail account.

2.  When I got kicked out of You Tube, I was also kicked out of all Google’s services.  This made my Google gmail account inaccessible.  

The only way to file an appeal with You Tube is if you have access to your Google gmail account.  Fortunately, my Apple e-mail still worked.  Also, for whatever reason, it turned out that I had two You Tube accounts.  Using my Apple e-mail and a junk You Tube account, I restored my Google gmail account.

Let’s go over this again.  If your You Tube account gets terminated, you won’t be able to file an appeal with You Tube unless you can get into your Google gmail account.  That’s where You Tube sends the e-mail that allows you to appeal.  You Tube will NOT send an e-mail to your Apple e-mail account, or to any other e-mail account.  

What will you get in, say, your Apple e-mail account?  You’ll get an e-mail from Google.  ( Not You Tube. )  The e-mail from Google, that comes to your Apple e-mail account, will only help you restore your Google gmail account.  It will NOT help you file an appeal with You Tube.  You Tube only sends e-mails to your Google gmail account.

In sum, let’s say you’re a bad employee at You Tube.  You want to screw a You Tube member.  Here’s what you do.  Along with terminating the member’s You Tube account, you terminate all of that person’s Google services.  That’s what happened to me.

3.  Okay!  By whatever means, you get back into your Google gmail account.  You did NOT create a new Google gmail account.  ( As I was invited to. )  Nothing will be in your new Google gmail account. 

4.  In your Google gmail account, look for the e-mail telling you that your You Tube account has been terminated.  At its start, it will say, 

“We’d like to inform you that due to repeated or severe violations of our Community Guidelines...”

At the end, this e-mail will say,

“Please be aware that you are prohibited from accessing, possessing or creating any other YouTube accounts.”

Wow!  Sounds like you might wind up in prison, huh?  Guess what?  That is a sentence written by You Tube.  It applies to You Tube.  The sentence is not quoting some law passed by the government.  It is the equivalent of wishing a guest wouldn’t eat with his elbows on your dining table.  

I got kicked out of You Tube, but had another You Tube account.  I told You Tube this.  Did they get angry with me?  No.  You Tube “unsuspended” my “suspended” You Tube account.  ( The one I’m accustomed to using, which has all my subscriptions, notifications, Library information, Playlists, and Comments. )  ( My other You Tube account is new.  Hence, it has nothing in it.  It is the equivalent of a new, empty Google gmail account. )

5.  We remain on the subject of the e-mail that reads, “We’d like to inform you that due to ... violations”.

6.  Look to the very bottom of this e-mail.  Find the sentence that reads,

“If you would like to appeal the suspension, please submit this form.”  ( “this form” is a link ).

7.  There it is, in black and white:  “If you would like to appeal the suspension, please submit this form.”  What could be clearer?

I can speak from experience on this point.  You’ll read that sentence, and you won’t understand it.  Why?  The Google e-mail that arrived in my Apple e-mail box came with a warning.  This e-mail was about my terminated Google gmail account.  It mentioned that I might restore my Google gmail account.  However, it also said,

“You’ll need to do this soon, because disabled accounts are eventually deleted, along with your emails, contacts, photos, and other data stored with Google.”

So, you’ll be rushing about ( on your computer ) like a chicken without its head.  That’s why you’ll click on You Tube’s appeal link and send an appeal without realizing you’ve done so.

Meanwhile, if you have access to You Tube ( as I did, with the junk account ) you’ll have sent hurried messages to You Tube already.  I can’t remember who all on You Tube I fired off hasty messages to.  Guess what?  If your You Tube account is terminated, all of those messages will be ignored.  No one at You Tube is going to help you except You Tube’s appeal staff.  ( The folks you reach from that “We’d like to inform you...” e-mail in your Google gmail account. )

Also, meanwhile, you’ll be busy restoring your Google gmail account, and getting your Google browser to work.  Since I rarely use my Google Drive, I only dealt with that later.  It worked.   The reason my Google Drive worked is probably because, by then, I’d restored my Google gmail account.  ( The original one. )

Note:  If you open a new Google gmail account, it’s possible that you’ll destroy your old Google gmail account.  This will almost surely destroy your old Google Drive, that has all your photos and videos in it.  Why?  Since you didn’t restore your old Google gmail account, Google regards you as a bad person.  Your Google gmail account was terminated for violating Google’s policies.

8.  Being smarter than me, you won’t immediately click that e-mail link in your Google gmail.  ( On the e-mail that reads, “We’d like to inform you...” )

9.  Feel free to poke around on the internet.  Don’t open any new accounts.  Don’t waste your time sending messages that You Tube will ignore.  Visiting You Tube, and other internet locales, learn as much as you can about your situation.  When you’ve done that, you’re ready to file your appeal with You Tube.  ( On the e-mail that reads, “We’d like to inform you...” )

10.  In this e-mail, click on the link that says, “this form”.  ( “this form” is in blue. )  Your click will take you to a place that resembles You Tube.  It’s a page titled, “Unable to access a Google product” [ No period. ]

This form is not properly named.  The only thing it relates to is You Tube.  It won’t help you with any other Google product.  On this page, all you’ll be able to do is file your You Tube appeal.

11.  Fill out the form.  Let’s go over it step-by-step.

12.  “Your full name”

Whether you provide You Tube with your full name, as the form asks, is up to you.  That’s my opinion.  Don’t take it as gospel.  

With regard to your middle name, I have the following recommendation.  Just type your middle initial.  You Tube apparently has bad employees.  It’s awful enough that these people kick out You Tube’s members, without a legitimate reason.  ( As defined by You Tube. )  You don’t want You Tube’s bad employees opening bank accounts in your name.

13.  “Email address you use to sign in to your YouTube channel”

This sentence doesn’t just lack a period.  It’s poorly written.  You don’t sign in to your You Tube channel.  You sign in to your You Tube account.  Actually, if all is well, You Tube will sign you in every time you boot up You Tube’s app.  You don’t physically sign in at all.

Which can be a problem, if you have to fill out this appeal form.  Keep your relevant e-mail addresses, user names, and passwords in your Apple “Contacts” app.  ( That icon that looks very boring. ) Your Apple Contacts app is meant to hold phone numbers.  However, it works great as a place to put passwords.

Let’s say I’m creating a new contact in Contacts.  That is, I’m going to keep my information about my You Tube account here.

In Contacts, I tap the blue plus sign + to create a new contact.

An informational box appears.  It is a blank Contacts form.  It is titled, “New Contact”.

On this form’s first line, I write my ( relevant ) e-mail address.

On this form’s second line, I write “You Tube”.  Why does “You Tube” go on the second line?  Because Contacts uses the second line to alphabetize your contacts.  If I put “You Tube” on the first line, and “Andrew” on the second line, my information about You Tube will be alphabetized under “A”.  I’ll have to go to the “A” section of Contacts to look up information about You Tube.

On the third line, I write my password.

14.  Let’s return to that You Tube appeal form!

15.  “Email address we can use to contact you”

Do you have access to this e-mail account:

““Email address you use to sign in to your YouTube channel”  ( You just wrote it on You Tube’s appeal form. )

That e-mail ( above ) is your terminated You Tube channel!  If you have access to the E-MAIL account, type it in.  Very likely, the e-mail account is a Google gmail account.  By typing it in, you show You Tube that Google allowed you to restore your Google gmail account.  You can’t be Satan if Google let you do that.  So, hopefully, You Tube will now restore your YOU TUBE account.

16.  “URL of your suspended YouTube channel”

This is the You Tube appeal form’s most difficult question.  I didn’t know what You Tube was talking about.  What You Tube wants is the name of your You Tube account.  If it’s “Hot Scooter”, write that.  If it’s your own name, write that.  

Here’s the answer I used to successfully answer this question:

https://www.youtube.com/andrewroller

Let’s investigate this further.  If you haven’t been kicked out of You Tube, tap the icon in the upper right corner of your iPad’s screen.  ( Having just an iPad, this is my only point of reference. )  An informational box will appear.  

The informational box is labelled “Account”.  On the very next line, you’ll see something akin to a name.  ( The name of my junky new You Tube account is “Andrew Roller”.  The name of my terminated You Tube account is also “Andrew Roller”. )

The name of your You Tube account will be the name of your You Tube channel.

“Andrew Roller” is what I needed to tell You Tube regarding the “URL of your suspended YouTube channel”  

( Under “Andrew Roller” is what I needed to tell You Tube regarding the “Email address you use to sign in to your [ terminated ] YouTube channel” )

You can see how nasty a bad You Tube employee can be.  I have no access to my terminated You Tube channel.  I have no access to that valuable informational box.  If I couldn’t recall the information ( in the box ) from memory, I wouldn’t have been able to file an appeal with You Tube.  Remember:  you can send messages all over the place, on You Tube, if you wish.  ( To You Tube staff. )  However, the only way to restore your terminated You Tube account is to file the You Tube appeal form.

17.  “Please briefly explain why you think your channel was suspended in error ...”

This is the worst part of You Tube’s appeal form.  In my case, I felt it was important to tell You Tube that I wasn’t just kicked out of You Tube.  I was kicked out of all Google’s services.  What had I done to deserve that?  Also, You Tube’s e-mail terminating my You Tube account contained a number of allegations.  It was important that I answer each one.

You Tube gives you 1,000 characters to explain yourself.  That is not enough room.  It’s especially not enough room when You Tube has bad employees, who kick paying members off of You Tube for no reason.  ( As defined by You Tube. )

18.  Write your appeal letter.  Be as brief as you can, but don’t omit any information that’s in your favor.  Also, don’t omit anything that shows someone at You Tube is mistreating you.

Don’t piss off the person tasked with reading your appeal.  I have no idea whose job it is to read appeals at You Tube.  However, in a large organization, the person reading your appeal should be an unbiased person who isn’t best friends with the person who kicked you out of You Tube.  In this era, of course, “best friend” extends to those who share another person’s political leanings.  Perhaps a You Tube employee kicked you out because she hates Republicans.  If the guy who reads your appeal hates Republicans too, your appeal might be denied.  

Writing your letter, be calm and rational.  Proceed in a straightforward manner.  If you feel your rights as a consumer have been violated, tell You Tube that.  Try to be firm but polite when you do so.

19.  Your letter may well exceed 1,000 characters.  If necessary, break up your letter into multiple parts.  Do this after you’ve written it.  Don’t break up the master copy of your letter.  You’ll ruin your letter, doing that.  Copy each section of your master letter onto a separate document.

20.  Label each part of your ( broken up ) letter.

21.  If you break your letter into multiple parts, you’ll have to send each part separately.  This means you’ll be filling out You Tube’s appeal form multiple times.  The appeal form will get suspicious.  It will try to claim that you’re a robot.  Endure.  Hopefully, you’ll get to file all the parts of your appeal.  This is also why you don’t want to hurriedly file five or six appeals with You Tube before you figure out what you’re doing.

22.  Good luck!  Your appeal may be successful.  You may get your You Tube account back.  Does that mean you’re in the clear?  Nope.  My appeal was successful.  My You Tube account was “unsuspended”.  The next day, it was “suspended” again, on the same baseless grounds.  This is what caused me to conclude that You Tube has bad, rogue employees.  ( Who hate Republicans, men, girls, or whatever. )

It is sad that some You Tube employees are gratifying their egos by terminating members’ accounts.  That is the world we live in today.  It is surely the reason I got kicked out of You Tube.  An employee didn’t like something about me.  I should have known such a fate was in my future.  I saw many You Tube members getting abused by You Tube’s employees.  That my turn would come was inevitable.

AND IN THE END ...

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - Because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - Because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak for me.

- Martin Niemoller 


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

If my account is reinstated, I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  The web address for my You Tube channel is:

https://www.youtube.com/andrewroller

NOTE:  The sun icon is my You Tube channel.  You may see a channel called “Andrew Roller” whose icon is a brown circle, bearing a white “A”.  That is the junky channel that You Tube’s bad employee imposed on me.  It has no content.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 27

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 27, version 3.0

Date Written:  March 27, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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ET 26

Editorial Thunder presents...

WAR at You Tube

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by Andrew Roller

You Tube has rogue employees.

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Today, I wrote to internet star Dana Taranova about what’s happening at You Tube.  That saves this report from being a bleak one, on bullying by You Tube’s employees.  If you don’t know of lovely Dana, you will now!

Dear Dana, 

On March 23, my You Tube account was suspended.

On March 24, the YouTube Team wrote me the following:

“We have re-reviewed your account and have concluded that it is NOT in violation of our Terms of Service.”  (Emphasis added.)  “Therefore, we have unsuspended your account.  This means your account is once again active and operational, and in good standing.”

On March 25, before I was aware of this e-mail, my You Tube account was suspended again.  

I think a single individual on YouTube’s staff has decided to harry me with wrongful suspensions.  What does this mean for other You Tube members, like you?

1.  If You Tube gives you trouble, appeal the decision.

2.  Consider what you want to say before writing your appeal.  It is possible that You Tube’s appeal staff will read every letter you send them.  However, they may not.  Their rules only require them to consider the first appeal letter that you send. 

3.  The length of your letter may exceed the space that You Tube allows.  If so, you’ll have to break your letter into several parts.  Label each part of your letter.  I recommend something like:

( Part 1 of 2 ) at the top of each part of your letter.  

At the bottom of each part of your letter, write something like:

( Please see Part 2 )

One of my letters to You Tube’s appeal staff had five parts.

4.  If You Tube gives you trouble, you may think you’re in trouble with You Tube, the company.  My experience indicates that this isn’t the case.  Someone at You Tube is a rogue employee.  That person is bullying You Tube members.  Perhaps this bully has friends.  There may be a cabal of rogue You Tube staffers, bullying You Tube members.  In that case, a war is occurring at You Tube.  There are good You Tube staffers, who follow You Tube’s rules.  There are also bad You Tube staffers.  They bully You Tube members who, for whatever reason, they don’t like.

It is possible that You Tube is having technical problems.  Recently, their app was crashing a lot.  It is also possible that You Tube has been infiltrated by outsiders who are trying to ruin their business.

However, given what’s happened to me, and what I’ve seen happen to other You Tube members, I think You Tube has staffers who are bad actors.

Currently, I’m waiting for my You Tube account to be reinstated.  I have no idea if it will be.  You Tube’s appeal staff may consist of good and bad people.  It too may have an ongoing war.  Sadly, one only gets one appeal.  If mine is shot down, what will I do?

Some e-mail from You Tube comes with a physical address.  It is:

YouTube, LLC  901 Cherry Ave. San Bruno, CA 94066 USA

( “LLC” stands for limited liability company.  “Ave.” is an avenue.  “CA” is the state of California. )

You Tube is owned by Google.  E-mail from Google comes with a physical address.  It is:

Google LLC 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway Mountain View, CA 94043 USA

If my You Tube account isn’t reinstated, I’m going to write a letter to You Tube’s physical address.  I’ll send a copy of this letter to Google.  So much for You Tube’s appeal app, that limits an appeal to 1,000 characters.  So much for only getting one appeal.  Someone at You Tube, and Google, will have to at least read what I mail them.

Being in America, I have two senators and a congressman.  I’ll write to them.  You Tube’s bad staffer is violating my rights as a consumer.  This is blatantly obvious.  Why?  If what I’m accused of were true, when my account is “suspended”, I would not have access to You Tube.  I still have the junky new You Tube account that the bad staffer imposed on me.  By the language of You Tube’s “suspension” notice, I’m not supposed to be on You Tube at all.  

You Tube operates in your country.  That means your government allows You Tube to do so.  If You Tube gives you trouble, consider writing to people in your government.  You Tube can lose its right to operate in your country if it’s abusing its members.

I’ve investigated You Tube.  Both it and Google are headquartered in San Francisco.

The Chief Executive Officer of You Tube is Susan Wojcicki.  She’s the sister of Anne Wojcicki.  Anne is married to Sergei Brinn.  Who’s that?  The co-founder of Google.  ( The History of the Future:  Oculus, Facebook, and the Revolution that Swept Virtual Reality, by Blake J. Harris, page 393.  Amazon Kindle. )  

From this I conclude the following:  A handful of people call the shots at You Tube and Google.  These might be big companies with high stock prices and lots of employees.  But, really, they’re mom and pop shops.  The few people at the top decide what billions of users of You Tube and Google can do.  That, at least, is my current opinion.  

Add to this You Tube’s ongoing censorship campaign.  Now throw in bad actors on You Tube’s staff, and one has a nasty brew.

Regarding You Tube, wikipedia.org reports the following:

“[ You Tube’s ] enforcement policies have been criticized as censorship.  Some YouTubers argue that the demonetization system is way too strict, causing any remotely ‘edgy’ content getting demonetized and in some cases even resulting in the creators [ sic ] channel being removed.”  ( Article:  Susan Wojcicki. )

On You Tube, I watched a video by a woman.  An American, she routinely reports on life in Germany.  People in Germany frequent saunas.  Doing so, they don’t wear clothes.  The American mentioned this in her video.  You Tube demonetized it.

This morning, I noticed the Premiere photo for your video, “PHOTOSHOOT MODEL FOR SPORTSWEAR SHOP. Danatar”  Dana, that Premiere photo is your most fabulous ever!  Your other Premiere photos are wonderfully engaging too.

I loved your “PHOTOSHOOT” video.  You’re a superb actress.  It was fun when you exploded in giggles.  I love your bikini!  Your very long hair is awesomely lovely.  You remain as mysterious and bewitching as when I first encountered you on You Tube.

Don’t forget to sometimes talk to me!  ( And your tens of thousands of You Tube subscribers. )  It is wonderful when you look into the camera and tell me about your life.

In your video, “HOLIDAY ON THE BEACH DUBAI. Danatar” you wrote “DanaTar” in the sand.  When I write to you, I call you “Dana”.  However, when I’m talking to myself, I invariably call you “Danatar”.  I try to break this habit.  I’m unable to.  Even though your real name is “Dana”, I guess I’ll always think of you as “Danatar”.  Congratulations on coming up with such a fine pseudonym!

( I’m hoping people will call me “Emperor Roller”.  So far, I haven’t had any luck with this. )

You are truly an awesome young lady.  I remain enthralled by you!

Keep up your fabulous videos!

Dana Taranova has two channels on You Tube:  Danatar, and Dana Taranova.  She appears on the You Tube channel Litzy Mini Top Model.  Dana is also on Likee, and Mark Yuckerberg’s Instagram. 

Some people play video games.  A guy seeking a date is supposed to be an outdoorsman.  Thankfully, I mostly sit indoors.  What do I do here?  I read and write.  If I hadn’t done this much, I wouldn’t be able to write about my problems, hoping to solve them.  Hence, I urge you to read and write.  Reading and writing are the most useful skills that I have.


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

If my account is reinstated, I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  The web address for my You Tube channel is:

https://www.youtube.com/andrewroller

NOTE:  The sun icon is my You Tube channel.  You may see a channel called “Andrew Roller” whose icon is a brown circle, bearing a white “A”.  That is the junky channel that You Tube’s bad employee imposed on me.  It has no content.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 26

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 26, version 2.0

Date Written:  March 27, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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ET 25

Editorial Thunder presents...

You Tube’s Bad Conduct

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by Andrew Roller

How You Tube stifles complaints.

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You Tube terminated my You Tube account.  They did this abruptly.  At no time had they told me that I violated their policies.

Simultaneously, You Tube replaced my “old” You Tube account with a new one.  Unlike a new car, you don’t want a new You Tube account.  It doesn’t have any of your subscriptions, notifications, Library information, Comments, or Playlists.

Below, I detail my sojourn since my “old” You Tube account was terminated.  I do this in a letter to Avon.

If you’re a member of You Tube, what happened to me could happen to you.  Here, I show what happened to me in a step-by-step fashion.  You’ll also learn how You Tube stifles complaints.

I have changed my e-mail account names to avoid getting spam.

Dear Avon,

Earlier in the day, I sent You Tube various complaints.  No human being at You Tube has responded to me.  

Their mail program sent me a response.  It claimed that I’d sent them “an appeal”.  

“Please wait for the result of your current appeal,” that e-mail said.

I decided to send You Tube a letter of substance.  ( A long letter. )  So, I wrote one.

Guess what?  The You Tube app won’t accept a letter of substance.  It only allows a complaint of 1,000 characters.  

In my opinion, it is bad conduct by You Tube to limit a complaint about a terminated account to 1,000 characters.

Of course, I’m not easily deterred.  I broke my letter of substance into five parts.  I filled out You Tube’s complaint form five times, and submitted each part of my letter in turn.

The You Tube app was suspicious!  It kept hitting me with the notification that I might be a robot.  However, it let me send all five parts of my letter.

Probably, the You Tube app is as stupid as the people who work at You Tube. 

I thought you might like to read my letter of substance.  I still remember the trouble that You Tube gave you last year.

Here is my letter of substance:

Dear Google,

My You Tube account is cyclone@gmail.com.  In the early morning of March 24 I got knocked off of You Tube.  When I tried to get back on to You Tube, I was presented with two accounts.  

The icon for cyclone@gmail.com had a line crossed through it, and was white.  The second account was andrea@icloud.com.  This is my Apple e-mail address.  I provided it to You Tube when I signed up to You Tube last year.  To my knowledge, andrea@icloud.com was not a You Tube account.

Since cyclone@gmail.com had a line through it, I clicked on the account andrea@icloud.com.  This proved to be a new You Tube account.  It did not have any of my subscriptions, notifications, Library information, Comments, or Playlists.

I soon discovered that all my Google services had been terminated ( except for the You Tube account andrea@icloud.com ).  

When I went to Google.com with my Safari browser, I was told to create a new Google.com account.  I could not do searches at Google.com.

I had no access to my Google gmail account.  I was told by the gmail app to create a new gmail account.

My Apple e-mail still worked.  An e-mail there told me, of cyclone@gmail.com, that “It looks like it was being used in a way that violated Google’s policies”.  

I investigated this in the You Tube app.  Information there said, of cyclone@gmail.com, that “We’ve detected unusual activity on this account.”

I have never shared my Google password, or any Google products, including You Tube, with anyone.

I received a new e-mail in my Apple e-mail account.  This e-mail said, of my cyclone@gmail.com account, the following:  “Account recovered successfully”.

( I received the same e-mail regarding my ( new ) You Tube account of andrea@icloud.com. )

I tried to get into my gmail account again.  I was able to get into my gmail account as cyclone@gmail.com.  There, I was told of cyclone@gmail.com, “Account recovered successfully.” 

Prior to the time of this e-mail, there was another e-mail.  This e-mail predates the “Account recovery” e-mail.  I will quote the relevant portions of this prior e-mail ( from my gmail account ):

“ ... due to repeated or severe violations of our Community Guidelines your YouTube account Andrew Roller has been suspended.”

I have never received any word from You Tube that I had violated You Tube’s Community Guidelines.  The notion that I committed “repeated or severe violations” is nonsense.  I have never uploaded a video to You Tube.  I rarely comment on videos.

The e-mail continues:  “ ... we determined that activity in your account violated our Community Guidelines, which prohibit spam, scams or commercially deceptive content.”

I have no idea how someone would “spam” on You Tube.  I have never engaged in spam, on any platform, or by using e-mail.  I have nothing to spam about.

A scam is a crime.  I have never engaged in scamming, and never would.  If you think someone has scammed people, you should report that to the police.  

Commercially deceptive content is probably also a crime.  I do not have a business.  I loathe any commercial deception.  Right now, I’d say, with respect, that it is You Tube that is engaging in commercial deception, with regard to me.  You sold me an account, cyclone@gmail.com, and now you are blocking me from using it.  You are making false accusations against me.  

Please restore my You Tube account of cyclone@gmail.com.

Thank you very much for your attention to my message.

Sincerely,

Andrew Roller

That ends my letter of substance.

The junky replacement channel that You Tube gave me still works.

Don’t worry, I’m not crying on your shoulder.  I reported on the internet about my getting kicked out of You Tube.  

Writing my letter of substance to You Tube, I visited what I’d written on the internet.  I did this to inform myself about what to write to You Tube!

Guess which search engine took me to what I’d written on the internet?  The Google search engine!

As has been said:

“The Capitalists will sell us the rope with which we will hang them.”


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 25

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 25, version 4.0

Date Written:  March 24, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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ET 24

Editorial Thunder presents...

I am Terminated

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by Andrew Roller

You Tube came for me.

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You Tube, which is owned by Google, has terminated my You Tube account.  I’ll share my story with you in the form of two e-mails I sent to “Avon”.

Subject:  I am Terminated 

Dear Avon,

I’m stunned.  I was in the “Subscriptions” section of You Tube when Google terminated my “Google Account”.

I investigated this.  I got an e-mail from Google saying that I had “violated Google’s policies”.

The e-mail says my “Google Account” is “disabled”.  It then adds that my account will eventually be “deleted”.

I investigated further.  On You Tube, Google ( the company ) told me, “We’ve detected unusual activity on this account.”  

I’ve never shared my Google password or “Google Account” with anyone.  Also, no one but me has ever used my You Tube account.

I, of course, went through all the things Google says to do to try to “restore” my “Google Account”.  Nothing worked.

Since Google ( the company ) terminated my “Google Account”, everything associated with my “Google Account” was terminated.

My You Tube account was terminated.  As a result:

1.  My You Tube Playlists were deleted.

2.  Comments I posted to You Tube were deleted.

3.  My You Tube subscriptions, notifications, and “Library” information was deleted.

My Google e-mail account was deleted.  Hence, I lost all my e-mails from my “former” Google e-mail account.  

I barely used my Google e-mail account.  I prefer my Apple e-mail account.

When I tried to use the Google browser, I was unable to.  I have since gotten the Google browser to work.  

I never did anything objectionable with the Google browser.

Entirely on their own, You Tube created a new account for me.  You Tube used my Apple e-mail address to create this new You Tube account.  

My belief is that my new You Tube account was created by whoever terminated my “former” Google account.  ( Including my former You Tube account. )  I believe this because:

1.  When I was knocked off of You Tube, I tried to get back on to You Tube.  My “former” You Tube account had an icon with a diagonal line drawn through it.  ( The universal symbol for “no”, as in “no smoking”. )

2.  I was presented with a new You Tube account that I could use to sign in with.  The new You Tube account showed my Apple e-mail address.  Being a new account, it was devoid of anything I’d done with my “former” You Tube account.  

I couldn’t find any way in my new You Tube account to “chat” with You Tube help, or to phone them.

About two weeks ago, I “chatted” with You Tube Help.  I “chatted” with You Tube Help about posting Comments to You Tube.  Sadly, I found You Tube Help to be ignorant.  To cover up for their ignorance, You Tube Help told me multiple lies.  

Today, I sent You Tube multiple messages in the You Tube app.  I sent You Tube multiple messages about my Google account being “disabled”.  

You Tube’s app says “[ We ] will contact you ONLY if we have additional information to share”.  ( Emphasis added. )  

( In other words, You Tube won’t be answering any of my complaints. )

No one at Google ever told me that I was violating any of their policies.  Also, no one at You Tube ever told me that I was violating any of their policies.  

In my experience, there is no such thing as “strikes” at You Tube.  My entire “Google Account” was abruptly terminated.

Google has not given me any meaningful reason for why my “Google Account” was terminated.

You Tube has not given me any meaningful reason for why my You Tube account was terminated.

For a long time now, I’ve simply been building Playlists on You Tube.  I haven’t been doing much else.  

I have never uploaded any videos to You Tube.

Here is my second e-mail to “Avon”.

Subject:  Guilty:  You Tube 

Dear Avon,

Google sent an e-mail to my Apple e-mail address.  The e-mail is about my Google account “cyclone”.  The e-mail says, “Account recovered successfully.”

My Google gmail account now works again.

In my Google gmail account, I found an e-mail.  This e-mail is also from Google.  It too tells me that my Google “Account recovered successfully”.

An earlier e-mail in my Google gmail account is from YouTube.  This e-mail from YouTube was sent prior to the e-mail from Google telling me that my Google account has been recovered.

The e-mail from YouTube reads,

“We’d like to inform you that due to repeated or severe violations of our Community Guidelines your YouTube account Andrew Roller has been suspended.

“After review we determined that activity in your account violated our Community Guidelines, which prohibit spam, scams or commercially deceptive content.  [ This sentence ends with a broken internet link. ]

“Please be aware that you are prohibited from accessing, possessing or creating any other YouTube accounts. For more information about account terminations and how our Community Guidelines are enforced, please visit our Help Center.  [ The phrase “Help Center” is another broken internet link. ]

“If you would like to appeal the suspension, please submit this form.”

I submitted the form, and others, multiple times.  YouTube sent me two separate e-mails in response.

The first e-mail reads:

“Hello, 

“We have received your account appeal and will get back to you as soon as possible.

“Sincerely, The YouTube Team”

The second e-mail reads:

“Hello,

“We have looked into your request and found that you have recently sent an appeal. Please wait for the result of your current appeal. If it has already been decided, please refer to that outcome. Note: You cannot appeal a second time. 

“Sincerely, The YouTube Team”

Google, which owns You Tube, is a multi-billion dollar company.  Did you notice something about You Tube’s e-mails?  They’re stingy with their spaces.  That is, instead of putting two spaces after a period, and after a colon, You Tube only puts one space.  I’ve heard of the importance of saving, but being stingy with spaces is ridiculous.

You Tube never told me that I was violating their Community Guidelines.  The allegation ( above ) that I engaged in “repeated or severe violations” of their Community Guidelines is a lie.

You Tube accuses me of engaging in “spams, scams or commercially deceptive content”.  This is another lie.  I dislike spam as much as everyone else.  Furthermore, I have nothing to spam about.

Scams are illegal.  If You Tube thinks I engaged in a scam, they should have the government prosecute me.  

Commercially deceptive content is, as I understand, also illegal.  You Tube should have me prosecuted for that, if they think I did it.

Of course, I loathe scams and commercially deceptive content as much as anyone.  Also, I have nothing to scam or be commercially deceptive about.

In my opinion, a single You Tube employee took umbrage at me, or my channel, on You Tube.  I was building a huge You Tube channel with many Playlists, on a wide variety of topics.  In essence, I had my own You Tube within You Tube.  

I called my You Tube channel my “Bat Cave”.  I did very little out on the main part of You Tube.  Whenever I logged into You Tube, I did two things:

1.  I added any of your new videos, plus those of Mari Kruchkova, to my Playlists.  If I had time, I’d add videos from other channels, like Fantastic Gymnastic or Daniela Lapovok.    

2.  Then I went to my “Bat Cave”.  I watched movies there, and videos, and listened to songs.  It was great!  I didn’t have to search on main You Tube for what I wanted.  It was all in my “Bat Cave”.  Anyone with my interests could go to my “Bat Cave” too.

Maybe that was the problem.  You Tube didn’t want competition from me.  In the last several days, my subscriber numbers had been surging.  They jumped from 25 to 35.  Compared to your numbers, that’s paltry.  However, for me, it was a great success.  Also, people probably visited my channel without subscribing.

For now, I’m still on You Tube.  I have a crappy channel that has nothing.  

I have resubscribed to your channels.

I’m still waiting to hear from You Tube about my “appeal”.  Here are my expectations about this:

1.  I won’t hear anything from You Tube.

2.  Some ignoramus at You Tube will give me a stupid answer, unrelated to anything meaningful.

3.  I’ll get more lies from You Tube about why they terminated me.  ( The notion that my former account is “disabled” or “suspended” is a lie.  Functionally, it is terminated.  It is as dead as a corpse. ) 

4.  You Tube will kick me off of You Tube entirely. 

Based on my experience with Facebook, You Tube may kick me off of You Tube.  When I got kicked off of Facebook, Facebook’s app asked me for more information.  It was as if Facebook was going to help me restore my account.  Facebook’s staff then used the information that I provided to further block me from ever getting on Facebook again.  Since Facebook owns Instagram, I can’t sign up at Instagram.

These Big Tech Internet companies are arrogant.  They do just as they please. 

One can have this reaction to being kicked out of You Tube, or Facebook: 

Be scared.  Never do anything that violates the “conventional wisdom”.  If everyone followed this policy, there would be no United States of America.  The USA would still be a colony of Great Britain.  There would be no Christian religion.  Jesus would have stuck to carpentry.

Or, you can do what you think is right.  If you get kicked out, so be it.

Of course, I tried to be discreet on You Tube.  I tried to live by their policies, while still doing what I thought was right.  Apparently, You Tube didn’t want me to be discreet.  They wanted me to be a scared chicken.  I am not going to be a scared chicken.

AND IN THE END ...

“If you want a revolution, and you think you are capable of contributing, you should be actively pushing it forward.”  

- Michael Abrash.  

( The History of the Future:  Oculus, Facebook, and the Revolution that Swept Virtual Reality, by Blake J. Harris, page 342.  Amazon Kindle. )

Editor’s notes:

1.  I reproduce things like e-mails exactly.  Since “YouTube” sent me e-mails, I write “YouTube”.  When I’m writing on my behalf, my preference is to write “You Tube”.  ( Putting a space between “You” and “Tube”.  Interestingly, when “YouTube” sends out legal documents, they are from “You Tube”. )

2.  “Avon” is a pseudonym.  Using it made this article easier to write.

3.  My e-mails to “Avon” have been lightly edited in my ongoing quest for authorial clarity.

4.  My terminated You Tube account was not “cyclone”.  I chose this name because my actual You Tube account is an e-mail address.  I am trying to avoid getting spam e-mails.

5.  The You Tube channel “Fantastic Gymnastic” has been terminated by You Tube.  I don’t know the owner of this channel, but I was very familiar with the channel’s content.  There was absolutely nothing objectionable on “Fantastic Gymnastic”.

Interestingly, You Tube no longer states when it has terminated a channel.  Here’s what happens now:

A.  If you click on a “deleted” video, You Tube states that the video has been “removed for violating You Tube’s Community Guidelines”.  

Or, You Tube will say that the channel that uploaded the video has been “terminated”.  

However, You Tube does not say which video has been removed.  

Also, You Tube does not say which channel has been terminated.

B.  Let’s say you’re a subscriber to a channel.  In “Subscriptions”, on You Tube, you click on that channel’s icon.  One of two things will happen.  

a.  You will get a large blank space on the right side of your computer screen.  

b.  Or, You Tube will load the most recent videos for “All channels”. 

Put bluntly, You Tube is now too chicken shit to say when it has deleted a channel.

Or, You Tube is trying to dupe its users.  A user might think there is a temporary issue with a particular channel.  Likely, some users will simply click on another channel. 

My experience with You Tube is akin to my experience with America Online, a quarter century ago.  One is supposed to simply consume these services.  You Tube will take videos from you that, in the words of the Economist magazine, are “scrubbed clean for advertisers”.  However, You Tube doesn’t really want your contribution as a human being.  

You Tube wants your money.  For your money, they’ll let you be an anonymous consumption machine on their service.  Consume, consume, consume.  Don’t contribute.  

What You Tube really wants is just enough consumers on its service to keep their stock price high, and rising.

( The Economist quote, as I recall, was about Facebook. )

( You Tube is owned by Google.  Google, the company, is now actually called “Alphabet”. )

I have been kicked out of Facebook.  Since Facebook owns Instagram, I can’t sign up at Instagram.  I have been kicked out of You Tube.  You Tube may let me linger there, with a crappy channel that they imposed on me.  Or You Tube may kick me out entirely.  ( Of course, I still have to pay You Tube nearly $200.00 per year, as a “Premium” member, as long as I’m there. )

I have not had any trouble from WordPress.  My advice is:  support internet platforms, like WordPress, that allow free speech.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 24

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 24, version 5.0

Date Written:  March 24, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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CS 4

Confessions of a Stud

Saved by COVID-19!

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by Andrew Roller

Why you need me ( girls ).

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Short, fat, and bald.  That’s me.  I don’t get to go on dates.  In fact, when most females see me, they loathe my existence.  That’s true even if they have no idea who I am.

You’ve probably been stuck at home lately.  That’s not a new experience for me.  A few years ago, I sometimes left my room.  I went to the gym.  I’d spend the whole night there.  Sometimes, I exercised at the gym.  Mostly, I watched the Disney channel.  The Disney channel used to be loaded with beautiful girls.  Then the Disney channel became politically correct.  The girls I liked ceased to appear on the Disney channel.  As a result, I stopped going to the gym.  I stayed home, alone.

Recently, I got sick.  My body temperature shot up.  I had body aches.  Labored breathing soon followed.  I called my doctor.  She determined that I had COVID-19.  My doctor told me to stay away from her.  She pointed out that if I came to the hospital, I might get everyone there sick.  As I recall, she said,

“Andrew, we have handsome guys at the hospital.  We don’t want you to show up here and make all the studs sick.”

So I stayed home, alone.  

Being sick, I had plenty of time to think.  I reflected on my life ( if feverishly ).  

I reached a conclusion.  Recovering from COVID-19, I decided to end my life.  Being alive was no longer worth it.

I live on the third floor of a building.  My room has a window.  Opening my window, I hoped the fall from the third floor would kill me.  Bravely, I jumped.

And flew through the air.  No, not down, as you’re probably hoping.  I flew up, up, and away!

I was quite amazed.  

Momentarily, my flying faltered.  I began to plummet toward the ground.  I groped for something to grab onto, and spider-like webbing flew from my hand!  The webbing caught onto the side of a building.  The next thing I knew, I landed safe on the building’s side.

And remained there with ease.

I climbed to the building’s roof.  In the distance, I saw trouble.  Someone was robbing the Thirteenth National Bank of San Diego!  

I flew to the scene of the crime.  The bank robbers were getting away!  As I tried to stop them, one of the thieves shot at me.  He didn’t use a pistol.  He fired a Tommy gun at my chest!

I think you can guess what happened.

Yes, I somehow got blamed by the police for the bank robbery.  As a result, I now only go outside at night.  I wear dark clothing.  I’m super quick, so if you glimpse me, you might mistake me for a bat.

A big bat.  I’m not short, fat, and bald anymore.  If you do get a good look at me, you’ll probably mistake me for Arnold Schwarzenegger.  ( Thank God my spell checker knows how to spell “Schwarzenegger”. )

I now look cool wearing just underpants.  ( Plus boots and gloves. )  ( I still need to buy a cape. )

Yes, Andrew Roller is now COVID-19 Man.  Girls, don’t let my name, COVID-19 Man, deter you from bearing my children.  My ( new ) world-class brain assures me that I can’t give you the virus.  I can only get you pregnant.  ( With my super DNA! )

That’s right, girls.  You don’t want ordinary DNA from a sports or rock star, do you?  You want Andrew Roller’s COVID-19 Man DNA.  Contact me for a date.  Do it quick, because lots of other girls are going to be super smart like you.  They’ll want to breed with me too.  

I’ll do my best to handle ( ahem! ) every request.  However, being super popular now, as a super guy, my incredible powers may sometimes flag.  Don’t get stuck dating someone like the Patriots’ Tom Brady.  I read that Brady is now with the Buccaneers.  That’s what happens when a guy isn’t sure what he wants to do with his life.  

I am proud to be America’s greatest hero, COVID-19 Man.  Pretty soon, my ( new ) world-class brain will make me wealthy, like most superheroes are.  Then, when it’s time to turn in for the night, we won’t have to go to your place, instead of my room.

The police are still after me.  Please don’t reveal my secret identity.  ( Except to other fabulously beautiful, super smart girls like yourself. )

Have you ever been bitten by a spider?  Did it turn you into Spider-Man?  I ask this to warn you away from acquiring COVID-19.  No one but me, whose gotten COVID-19, has become endowed with super powers.  I got a lucky break.  Other sufferers from COVID-19 probably won’t be lucky like me.

Probably, you’ll soon see a drop in America’s crime rate.  That’s because, when I’m not busy siring ( super ) offspring, COVID-19 Man will be protecting our land.  I can assure you, if there’s a Nazi invasion, or if a green goblin should go zooming around, I will intervene!

America ( and girls ), COVID-19 Man is now on the job!


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  CS, Confessions of a Stud, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is CS, Confessions of a Stud, issue number 4

Arcana:  This is CS, Confessions of a Stud, issue number 4, version 3.0

Date Written:  March 20, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E entertainment.

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ET 23

Editorial Thunder presents...

Facebook is Spying on You!

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by Andrew Roller

Mark Yuckerberg profits by snooping on you.

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Last September, I joined Mark Yuckerberg’s Facebook.  A week and a half later, I got kicked out of Facebook.  Okay, Yuckerberg doesn’t want me on his site.  Fair enough.  So long, Fuckerberg.  ( I mean, Yuckerberg! )  I stay off your site, and you stay out of my life.  That’s just how things are sometimes, right?

Wrong.  Today, I found out that Mark Yuckerberg is spying on me.  That’s not just my problem.  It’s yours, too.  Why?  If you’re an ordinary internet user, Mark Yuckerberg is spying on you too.

I got an e-mail today.  It’s from the web browser company Firefox.  The e-mail says, 

“Get the ‘F’ Out

“Keep Facebook off your trail

“You see them everywhere:  those little ‘F’ buttons from Facebook.  Sure, they let you share things quickly to your profile.

“But they also let Facebook follow and collect information about you without your consent - even if you don’t have an FB account.

“So we built the Facebook Container extension.  It keeps FB out of your business when you’re not in their app.  Not on FB these days?  It works with Instagram, FB Messenger and Workplace, too.

“Get Facebook Container”  [ This line is written on a clickable button. ]

In sum, if you use the web browser Firefox, you can now add the Facebook Container to your Firefox browser.

The address of the Firefox company is listed in the e-mail as:

mozilla 331 E. Evelyn Ave. Mountain View, California, USA  94041

You might figure, “Oh well, Yuckerberg knows my business.  So what?”  If Yuckerberg knows your business, so does the United States government.

How?  There is a department of the United States government called the National Security Agency ( NSA ).  Each year, the NSA pays billions of dollars to Big Tech companies like Facebook and Google.  The NSA pays this money to buy customer ( or user ) information from Facebook and Google.  If you’re on Facebook, or use Google, those companies are selling what they know about you to the U.S. government.  As Firefox informs us, Facebook is also snooping on internet users ( and, hence, selling that information as well ).

Is this fair?  I have nothing to do with Facebook.  Yet Facebook is following me around the internet, and snooping on me.  It is then selling this information to the United States government.  Doubtless, the U.S. federal government shares this information with state and local entities.

Perhaps you live in a foreign country.  That doesn’t mean you’ve escaped the consequences of Facebook’s snooping.  The United States government shares information with other countries.  Probably, what Facebook sells about you to the U.S. government is then shared with the government of your country.

How much do you know about Mark Yuckerberg?  I know that he likes wearing hoodies, and that he’s married.  That’s all I know about him.  Why should someone who kicked me out of his web site months ago be able to follow me everywhere on the internet, while I know almost nothing about him?

Do you know where Mark Yuckerberg goes on the internet?

ROLLER’S STYLEBOOK

Having weighed in, formerly, on the all-important word “jerkoff”, I’ll now add my two turds ( cents! ) on the following unsettled terms:

e-mail versus email:  I prefer e-mail.  I feel e-mail is easier to read.  

Techies prefer email, since that’s their favored form of communication.

internet versus Internet:  I prefer internet.  The custom in print journalism is to eschew capitalization.  Internet, in the middle of a sentence, might trick one’s eye into thinking a new sentence has begun.

Techies prefer Internet, since they deem it important to differentiate between the global Internet, and one of more limited scope.

My maxim in such matters is:  what makes my article easiest for you to read?  ( Other than my not writing the article at all. )

AND IN THE END ...

“Dossie’s daughter ... at the time of this story was about six [ years old ].

‘I found my daughter in her bath after she had obviously just finished masturbating.  Beaming up at me from her heap of bubbles, she asked, “Mom, when you’re in the tub, do you ever put your fingers in your vagina and daydream?”  When I agreed that yes, I certainly did, she explained, “I’m daydreaming that I’ve been kidnapped by sexists.”

- the new Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, Loc 140.  Greenery Press, 2001.  Distributed by SCB Distributors, Gardena, California, USA.  ( Amazon Kindle. )

[ Hi, Mark Yuckerberg!  Happy reading! ]


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 23

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 23, version 2.0

Date Written:  March 11, 2020.

——————————————————————————————————————————

This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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ET 22

Editorial Thunder presents...

Kelly Kutie Channel Killed!

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by Andrew Roller

Google destroys more information.

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Google, which owns You Tube, once sought to possess all the world’s information.  My understanding was that Google wanted to possess this information so they could share it with the world.  

I guess the nerds who founded Google had never heard of copyright law.  More likely, they chose to ignore it.  ( They flouted COPPA for over two decades, the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act. )  Copyright owners who wished to soon brought Google to heel.

Yet many creators want Google, and You Tube, to carry their work.  One of these was Kelly Beltran.  A teenager, she lives in the country of Columbia.  The name of her You Tube channel was “Kelly Kutie”.

Today, I discovered that You Tube has destroyed more information.  I visited a You Tube Playlist I’d made.  It once held all of Kelly’s videos that were extant on You Tube.  From the time that I created this Playlist, one or two of Kelly’s videos had been deleted.  The reason given by You Tube was, “This video has been removed by the user”  ( No period. )

Sound familiar?  That’s the same excuse You Tube gives whenever it destroys videos at the channel “My_ Home”.  I’ve seen You Tube use this tactic when they’ve forced other creators to remove videos.

All Kelly’s videos have been destroyed by You Tube.  The Playlist I’d made now holds nothing but icons bearing the all too familiar name, “[Deleted video]”.

Worse, my Playlist of Kelly videos had films of her from four channels.  The other channels were “Teen Fashion Club”, “THE TTL MODELS”, and “MICRO BIKINI MODELS”.

The news gets more reprehensible.  Kelly’s channel, “Kelly Kutie,” has been obliterated by You Tube.  Her channel no longer exists.  I am a subscriber to “Kelly Kutie”.  When I try to visit her channel, in the “Subscriptions” section of You Tube, I get this lie:  “Sorry - there’s a temporary issue loading your subscriptions.  Please revisit this page shortly to try again.”

You Tube has a nasty surprise here.  There is no way to exit this page.  I can tap from “Subscriptions” to, say, “Home” on You Tube.  However, when I tap “Subscriptions” again, I get the “Sorry - there’s a temporary issue” page.  The only way I can get rid of this page is to quit the You Tube app, and then relaunch it.

You probably figure the news can’t get worse.  “Kelly Kutie” isn’t the only channel that’s been obliterated by You Tube, in relation to this event.  You Tube has also obliterated the channels “Teen Fashion Club”, “THE TTL MODELS”, and “MICRO BIKINI MODELS”.

I am a subscriber to “Teen Fashion Club” and “THE TTL MODELS”.  When I tried visiting them, in my “Subscriptions” section of You Tube, I got the “Sorry - there’s a temporary issue” dead end page.

I guess I never subscribed to the channel, “MICRO BIKINI MODELS”.  It isn’t in my “Subscriptions” section of You Tube.  I did a Search on You Tube for “MICRO BIKINI MODELS”.  No luck.  The channel is gone.

I also did a Search on You Tube for the channels “Kelly Kutie”, “Teen Fashion Club”, and “THE TTL MODELS.”  Those channels are gone as well.

At my Kelly Playlist, I can tap on the “[Deleted video]” icons.  Some take me to a page reading, “This video is no longer available because the YouTube account associated with this video has been terminated.”  ( Whoa!  You Tube ended their sentence with a period!  At least one of their nerds is literate. )

Other “[Deleted video]” icons at my Kelly Playlist take me to a page reading, “This video has been removed for violating YouTube’s Community Guidelines.”

Of course, You Tube never says which video they deleted.  Nor do they say which channel they terminated.  

As best I can tell, the messages reading, “This video has been removed for violating YouTube’s Community Guidelines” lie by omission.  Videos weren’t simply removed.  All four channels in my Kelly Playlist were destroyed by You Tube.

Can it get worse?  Maybe.  Using You Tube Search, I found a video titled, “Very Hot Micro Bikini Girl”.  It was posted two weeks ago by the channel, “Hot & Sexy”.  This video has 9,405 views.  It has 192 thumbs up, and 5 thumbs down.  Twenty people have commented on this video.  I tapped on this video’s icon, to watch it.  I was taken to the place where I should have been able to see the video.  In the box where the video should have begun to play, I got this message:

“This video is unavailable on this device”.

Huh?  I’ve watched thousands of videos on You Tube.  I have never encountered this message before.  It makes me wonder if You Tube is censoring my ability to watch videos.

Could it get even worse?  Yep.  Big Tech, like Google and You Tube, already controls much of what people watch on the Internet.  Recently, I heard something on the Fox News Channel.  It was this:  companies like Google are interested in “community involvement” in our offline world.  In other words, having kicked people’s asses on the Internet, Google now wants to impose its “standards” on our offline lives.

Using Google, I searched on the Internet for Kelly Kutie.  The top hit was my own fucking Playlist.  ( Of Kelly’s now deleted videos. )  

Then I got smarter.  ( If you can remember the 1960’s, you’re not really here, in the 2020’s.)  I searched on Google for kellykutie.com.  I found her!  Kelly’s web site still exists, even though her You Tube channel has been destroyed.



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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 22

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 22, version 4.0

Date Written:  February 29, 2020.

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.
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ET 21

Editorial Thunder presents...

Dumb and You Tube

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by Andrew Roller

You can still paste comments into You Tube.

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On a girl’s channel on You Tube, I was unable to leave a comment.

Okay, she’s 12-years-old, I told myself.  Maybe You Tube doesn’t want people leaving comments on her You Tube channel.  No one else had left a comment.

Today, I checked back at this channel.  Lots of people had left comments.  I tried leaving a comment again.  No luck.

Next, I tried the You Tube channel of an older girl.  As I understand it, she’s “an adult”.  Other people had left comments at this girl’s channel.  I, however, was unable to.

I next tried leaving a comment at the You Tube channel for Fox News.  If ever there was a place for an odious old(er) white male to comment, Fox was surely it.

Guess what?  I couldn’t leave a comment on the Fox News channel.  I soon realized that I couldn’t leave a comment on any channel on You Tube.

I’ve learned to stay away from the “Support” staff at Internet social network sites.  As an odious old(er) white male, I may as well hand those folks a gun, and invite them to shoot me.

However, I was angry.  You Tube’s “Support” staff had screwed me in the past, without ever telling me that I’d done anything “wrong”.  Why were they screwing me now?

I tapped “Help and feedback” on You Tube.  In my experience, “Help and feedback” isn’t easy to find.  I first tapped my sun icon, at You Tube, which is my channel’s icon.  An informational box appeared.  It took me awhile to realize that I was able to scroll down inside this box.  When I did, I found “Help and feedback”.  Tapping that connected me to You Tube Support.

You might have noticed the headline for this article.  It’s a riff on the movie title, “Dumb and Dumber”.  I “chatted” with You Tube Support.  I’ll give You Tube credit for one thing:  I didn’t have to wait to obtain a You Tube Support person to chat with.  I was connected to someone right away.

Unfortunately, I didn’t screen shot my chat session with this person.  A chat session runs for some time, and the comments sprawl down an endless length of virtual paper.  Since I didn’t make screen shots of my chat, I can’t tell you the name of the You Tube Support person that I chatted with.  Nor can I quote, verbatim, what he told me.

This person turned out to be a moron.  I told him that I was a You Tube Premium member.  This is the highest level of membership that You Tube offers.  I told this moron that I was unable to leave a comment anywhere on You Tube.

His answer?  “This is out of my scope [ of responsibility ].”  I pressed the moron on this point.  Who the hell was he being paid to help, if not me?

The moron said his job was only to help “creators”.  That is, people who post videos to You Tube, and then get their asses kicked by You Tube for what they posted.  ( As a result, I’ve never become a “creator” on You Tube. )  

The moron said he had one other area of responsibility.  It was helping people who purchase paid content on You Tube, such as a movie, or who sign up for You Tube T.V.  ( A sort of Internet cable television service, with a bill to match. )

The moron told me to contact You Tube’s Technical Support department.  I thanked him ( not mentioning that he was a moron ), and our conversation ended.

As soon as I left the “chat” area of You Tube, our conversation was erased.  Realizing the moron’s comments might be useful for this article, I returned to the “Support” area, but my “chat” was utterly gone.

In a few minutes, I resolved to try chatting with a You Tube support person again.  I got another moron.  As I am unable to give the first Support person’s name, I’ll spare the second Support person publicity.  I’ll call him Stupid.

I told Stupid about my problem.  I’ll quote his answer:

“And this issue is already out of my scope since this is no longer a part of your subscription.”

Stupid’s answer is totally wrong, as I’ll explain below.

I continued to chat with Stupid.  Here’s what he said next:

“I do understand your concern that you can’t leave any comments on the videos that you are watching in YouTube, but leaving comments on videos is not a part of your YouTube Premium services.”

Stupid was soon resorting to obfuscation, about leaving comments:

“And this would really depend on the owner of the channel on what are their requirements before someone can post a comments [ sic ] on their videos.”

Some of the comments that I’ve posted to You Tube could be regarded as incendiary.  I have yet to be blocked from commenting by any You Tube channel owner.

Stupid continued his obfuscation:

“Others sometimes require a viewer to be subscribed to their channel first before they can leave a comment.”

This is bullshit.  I have yet to encounter this problem.

Stupid also made this claim:

“We [ You Tube ] do not have the option to block a viewer in leaving a comment on videos in YouTube.”

This is also bullshit.  Stupid may not be able to block a customer, but people higher than himself, at You Tube, can.  I learned this when I first joined YouTube.  I contacted customer support with what I regarded as useful advice.  As a result, I was blocked by You Tube from posting to a particular channel for a number of days.  Naturally, You Tube has never notified me about why this block occurred.  Lesson:  Big Tech won’t just kick your ass, they’ll sometimes do it in a sneaky way.

My conversation with Stupid ended.  Having spoken with two Support people at You Tube, I was no better off.

Allow me to tell you about my problem in specific detail.  Having watched a video on a You Tube channel, I now attempt to comment on it.  I do the following:

1.  I tap “Add a public comment”.

2.  A comment box appears, for me to type in.

3.  A tall blue bar is in this box.  It is where I’m to begin typing.

4.  Suddenly, the tall blue bar becomes short.  This is the problem.

5.  I paste in a comment, from my iPad’s clipboard.  This is how I’ve always commented on You Tube, since becoming a member about eight months ago.

6.  ( I have pasted in my comment. )  However, my typed letters appear odd.  I can scroll up and down inside the comment box, but the box behaves strangely.  It is as if my comment is just lolling loosely around in the box.

7.  Crucially, there is no blue You Tube “Send comment” arrow.  Without this arrow, I have nothing to tap, to send my comment.

Considering this problem, an idea occurred to me.  It was, “never mind pasting a comment into You Tube.  See if you can type directly into the box, and post that.”  This worked.  

However, I shy away from leaving short comments on You Tube.  Telling someone she’s beautiful, when she already knows that, is a waste, in my opinion.  This is especially so since every guy commenting on You Tube does exactly that.  Every comment a girl on You Tube gets can be boiled down to, “You’re beautiful.”  Or, to quote the comedian Chris Rock, every guy is basically asking the girl, “Want some dick?”

I try to leave a comment that provides useful information.  I hasten to add, however, that you’ll want to tell the girl she’s beautiful.  For some reason, based on my observations, females love to be told that they are beautiful.  In fact, every female wants to hear that every day.  ( You gotta remember, this is the half of humanity that thinks flowers are important. )

Here is how I solved my problem, of being unable to leave comments on You Tube:

Before I can paste anything into the comment box, I first have to type in it.

1.  I type:  “Comment to follow:”  This causes the blue “Send comment” arrow to appear.  In fact, I could type anything.  “Comment to follow:” seems the most useful thing for me to type.

2.  I paste in my comment.  The blue “Send comment” arrow is still present.

3.  I tap the blue “Send comment” arrow.  My comment is posted to the video.

If you merely want to type in the comment box, you can do that.  As soon as you physically type in the comment box, the blue “Send comment” arrow appears.

In summary, you can no longer just paste a comment into You Tube.  First, type in the comment box.  Then paste in your lengthy oration that asks, “Want some dick?”

If you’re on You Tube, you might have noticed that the app now crashes a lot.  I don’t mean something occasionally goes wrong.  I like listening to songs on You Tube.  Short songs.  Before a single song ends, the You Tube app has crashed.  This happens repeatedly.

At other times, I can use You Tube for about two hours before it crashes.

Given that You Tube is staffed by censorious morons, I didn’t contact their Support department about the app crashing.  However, after about two weeks of crashes, the app itself asked me to join a program that allows me to send You Tube “anonymous crash reports”.  I joined this program.  The You Tube app continues to crash.

You Tube has imposed a new censorship regime.  If you’ve read other posts in my ARSE ( Andrew Roller Stories and Essays ), you’ve read about the channel My_ Home.

My_ Home is owned by a girl who’s about 12-years-old.  She lives on the other side of the globe from America, and speaks a Cyrillic language.  Young girls get to do all sorts of things on You Tube:  accept comments, host live chat sessions, and wear bottom baring thongs.

Not the owner of My_ Home.  I’ve witnessed her being beaten up by You Tube’s staff on more than one occasion.  “Beaten up” is the best way to describe it.  First, she was denied the ability to accept comments.  Probably, she didn’t understand why.  ( New You Tube censorship rules, which continue to change. )

Unable to get comments, or for whatever reason, this girl hosted a live chat session.  She simply spoke into her computer, in her language.  She very much resembled a politician, giving a speech.  In the midst of this, You Tube shut off her live chat session.  Then You Tube deleted all of her videos.  The poor girl had only posted three videos.

More recently, My_ Home’s owner posted a new video.  No one was allowed to comment on it.

Now, that video has been deleted.  The notice given is, “[ Deleted video ] ... This video has been removed by the user”  ( No period. )

You Tube’s notice is probably a lie.  When You Tube destroyed My_ Home’s other videos, they gave the same lie.

I’m subscribed to My_ Home.  Formerly, when I tried to access My_ Home, I would be taken to a page on You Tube.  It would tell me the following lie:

“This channel has no videos.”

At the top of this page, there was an icon of the channel My_ Home.  I would tap on this icon.  That would take me to the channel My_ Home, where I could view its videos.

That doesn’t happen anymore.  

Now, when I try to access My_ Home, I am taken to a page which says:

“Sorry - there’s a temporary issue loading your subscriptions.  Please revisit this page shortly to try again.”

The above is a lie.  I’ve been getting this lie, on this page, for at least a month.  Also, on this page, there is no icon for the channel My_ Home.

How does one access My_ Home now?  On You Tube, look for the search icon.  It is a magnifying glass.  In the search field, type:  My_ Home.  This will take you to the channel My_ Home.  Unsurprisingly, having been beaten up a number of times by You Tube’s censorious morons, this channel’s young owner hasn’t posted any new videos.  Her channel merely has a short playlist of videos by other people.

In the past, I made a playlist of My_ Home’s videos.  My playlist is titled, “My_ Home”.  It is available at my You Tube channel, “Andrew Roller”.  My playlist had only one video, as that is all the extant videos that the My_ Home channel had.

That video has now been deleted, as stated above.  

As a result, I converted my My_ Home video playlist into a tribute playlist.  The tribute playlist holds You Tube videos, by other channels.  These are music videos.  They form what I have the audacity to call a “Rock Opera”.

( If you’re wondering, the owners of the videos get the credit, and the money, when people watch their videos in my playlist.  I do not profit in any way from their videos.  Unless, that is, someone wants some dick. )

A cursory look at my Rock Opera may reveal little.  However, it contains the universal themes of death, remorse, resurrection, love, vengeance, more vengeance, death ( again ), and the afterlife.

The playlist can be viewed as having the following chapters:

1.  Prelude.

2.  Deleted.

3.  Overture.

4.  In Memoriam.

5.  The End.

6.  Sheol.

7.  SOS.

8.  Resurrection.

9.  Aphrodite.

10.  Echoes of Lament.

11.  New Awakening.

12.  Love and Resilience.

13.  Lament and Celebration.

14.  The Call.

15.  Vision of Utopia.

16.  Venus and Mars.

17.  Avenger.

18.  Victim and Avenger.

19.  Thunder.

20.  Lightning Strikes.

21.  Aftermath.

22.  Requiem.

23.  Omega Meets Alpha.

I can hear it now:  “That sounds nice, dude.  Maybe I’ll check it out someday.”  Please remember:  this Rock Opera has been created with what, in the art world, is called “found materials”.  Videos get posted to You Tube, and they get deleted.  Every video in this playlist was posted by a You Tube customer.  If a person fails to pay his You Tube bill next month, his video will be deleted from my Rock Opera.  

Worse, You Tube never tells which video was deleted, anywhere on You Tube.  The viewer simply gets this message:  “[ Deleted video ]”.

Hence, if you have any interest in my Rock Opera, I encourage you to enjoy it today.  It won’t exist, as it does now, in the future.

And in the End...

“There’s an implicit understanding that we had no part in making the rules, and that many of them are meant not to protect us but to keep us in line.  Our intrinsic desire for freedom and autonomy rankles at this sort of ... coercion, and we instinctively recognize that the goal of “the law” is often not just order but conformity, even oppression.  The suspicion is that there is ‘rot at the top’ and that corruption is the rule, not the exception.”

- David Corbett, “No More Mr. Nice Guys”, Novel & Short Story Writer’s Market 2020, Loc 228.


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Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 21

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 21, version 2.0

——————————————————————————————————————————

This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa February 24, 2020.
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ET 20

Editorial Thunder presents...

Michael Bloomberg:  Liar and Thief

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by Andrew Roller

How Bloomberg funds his presidential run.

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I’m unemployed.  I could use a job.  According to Tucker Carlson, if I signed up to work for the Michael Bloomberg campaign, even as a volunteer, I would receive the following on my first day with them:

1.  An Apple MacBook Pro.

2.  An Apple iPhone 11.

I would receive these items for free, to keep as my own.

( Source:  Tucker Carlson, Tucker Carlson Tonight, Fox News Channel. )

I only have an iPhone 6, and an iPad.  I would love to have a MacBook Pro, and an iPhone 11.

However, I’m not going to sign up with the Bloomberg campaign to get these goodies.  Instead, I’m going to tell you why I consider Michael Bloomberg to be a liar and a thief.

Micheal Bloomberg is worth 60.1 billion U.S. dollars.  ( Source:  Google, February 6, 2020.  Search term:  net worth of michael bloomberg. )

Micheal Bloomberg is running to become the next president of the United States of America.  He’s not running as a Republican, the party traditionally associated with the rich.  Bloomberg is running as a Democrat.  That’s the party of the little guy.

Once, I subscribed to Bloomberg’s magazine.  It’s called, “Bloomberg Businessweek”.  ( If you’re old(er), like me, you’ll recall this as the erstwhile magazine, “Businessweek”. )

My subscription to Bloomberg Businessweek expired in December 2019.  I did not renew it.  I was not enrolled in any “continuous service guarantee” program.  Bloomberg Businessweek ceased to arrive in my mailbox.  It did so as soon as my subscription expired.

In January of 2020, I got a letter from Bloomberg Businessweek.  I did not view it as a bill.  I viewed it as an invitation to reinstate my subscription, if I wished to.  I was, however, no longer a subscriber to Bloomberg Businessweek.  The magazine was no longer arriving.  Hence, I threw the letter away.

Today, on February 6, I got this from Bloomberg Businessweek:

“[ NOTICE OF OVERDUE ACCOUNT ]

“Dear Andrew Roller,

“We extended you the privilege of paying later for your subscription.  By accepting this option, we anticipated that you would remit a payment when billed.  The balance outstanding is now due.

“We have sent you numerous bills.  We now request that you send us your payment immediately.

“ > Pay the $65.00 amount due now < You can make your payment online at businessweekmag.com/pay - pay by credit card, or mail your check for  $65.00 in the reply envelope provided.

“Upon receipt of payment, your subscription will be reinstated, and you won’t miss another issue.  Thank you for your attention to this urgent matter.  Send your payment of $65.00 today.

“Sincerely,  [ Signed ]  Courtney Martens

C. Martens Account Services”

Guess what my response was, when I got the above in the mail?  I said to myself, “This is a load of garbage.”  I threw the “bill” ( above ) away.

You can imagine what popped into my mind next:  “Wait a minute.  This is Micheal Bloomberg.  This fucker is running for president.”  Worse, he’s not doing so in a fair way, with ideas, speeches, and handshakes.  Mostly, Bloomberg is blowing billions of dollars.  He’s doing it to massively outspend his rivals in the Democratic primaries.

I yanked Bloomberg’s “bill” out of the trash.  Let’s unpack its lies:

1.  There is only one way a person can find himself obligated to pay for the renewal of an expired subscription.  It’s if, in the past, he signed up for a “continuous service guarantee”.  A “continuous service guarantee” is mainly a scam invented by the magazine publishing industry.  It may not, in fact, create a legal obligation.

With regard to Bloomberg’s “bill”:  Do you see the words “continuous service guarantee” anywhere?  I don’t.  Nothing about any “continuous service guarantee” is written on the back of Bloomberg’s “bill” either.  

2.  Bloomberg as much as acknowledges that he’s trying to pull a fast one.  He writes:  “We extended you the privilege of paying later.”  Huh?  What does that mean?  My subscription expired.  I did not renew it.  End of story.

3.  Bloomberg speaks of extending a ( nonexistent ) “privilege”.  He then tells me, “By accepting this option, we anticipated that you ...”  Huh?  I know something about contract law.  Bloomberg cites a nonexistent offer ( in contract law language ), then claims that my inaction constituted an acceptance ( in contract law language ).  Under this logic, not voting for Bloomberg for president would mean that I somehow did vote for him.

Examine Bloomberg’s “bill” closely on this point.  I didn’t mistype anything.  Does Bloomberg’s language of offer and acceptance look tricky to you?  It does to me.  Bloomberg never clearly states that he made an offer, and that I accepted it.  He writes, “By accepting [ Huh?  Who accepted? ] WE anticipated ...”  

You, Bloomberg, accepted AND anticipated?  That barely makes sense.  ( Italics added, as the capitalized “we”. )

Note that Bloomberg doesn’t say I accepted his “offer”, which might legally bind me.  He implies that I accepted his “option”.  The word “option” carries no legal obligation in this context.

In fact, under contract law, Bloomberg’s “bill” is advertising literature.  Let’s say I now sent him money.  My money would be, in contract law, the “offer”.  Bloomberg, under contract law, would be at liberty to accept, or decline, my offer.  

( Were Bloomberg’s “bill” an “offer”, under contract law, everyone on earth might accept it.  If Bloomberg couldn’t fill all the orders, he’d be in breach of contract. )

4.  Bloomberg writes:  “The balance outstanding is now due.”  By your logic, Bloomberg, I guess my vote for you is now due as well.  Can I stick my vote up your ass?  I’d pay $65.00 to do it!

5.  Bloomberg writes:  “We have sent you numerous bills.”  As I stated above, I had received an invitation to reinstate my subscription, if I wished to.  I didn’t.  Since I bought an iPad, and joined You Tube, I’m letting all my magazine subscriptions expire.  A year ago, I was subscribed to nearly 50 magazines.  I’m letting them all expire, since I have no time to read them.

6.  Bloomberg writes:  “Upon receipt of payment, your subscription will be reinstated, and you won’t miss another issue.”  What does Bloomberg fail to mention?  He omits saying that I’d be paying him for past issues that he never sent me.  What moron would sign up for that? 

7.  Bloomberg writes:  “Thank you for your attention to this urgent matter.”  Why is the expiration of my subscription an urgent matter?  Why is it “urgent” for a man worth $60.1 billion dollars to have my $65.00?

Of Donald Trump, Mitt Romney once said, “He’s a phony and a fraud.”  Polish your rhetoric, Romney, and use it purposefully ( for once ).  The “phony and fraud” is Democrat Michael Bloomberg.  Are you willing to tell us that?  Or do you only denounce members of your own ( Republican ) party?

A side note:  You might wonder what I thought of the magazine, “Bloomberg Businessweek”.  Once, I subscribed to the pre-Bloomberg “Businessweek” magazine.  As I recall, it was one of many sister magazines published by TIME magazine.  

“Businessweek” was crap.  I haven’t opened “Bloomberg Businessweek” for at least a year, but it was better than “Businessweek”.  It had some very good articles.  These included long articles, with excellent photos, about culture.  The cultures I read about were ones in the United States, Finland, and India.  These articles covered business themes, or societal ones, like a guaranteed minimum standard of living. 

However, “Bloomberg Businessweek” could also be described as a jumbled mess.  I never knew where I was in the magazine.  I suppose there was some order to it, if one wished to figure it out.  I didn’t have the time.  

A better magazine is “The Economist”.  It covers themes similar to “Bloomberg Businessweek.”  The Economist is well organized.  However, the Economist’s “Lexington” column, which I once loved, is now junk.  “Lexington” called former F.B.I. Director James Comey “heroic”.  I’ve wasted little of my life reading “Lexington” since then.  Compared to the Economist magazine of the 1990’s, today’s Economist can be gratingly liberal.

AND IN THE END...

“Donald J. Trump is our commander in chief.

Shit Romney is our traitor in chief.”

- from the book, “The Rise and Rise of Donald J. Trump”, by William L. Shirer.

Of the book, Bookfist magazine writes:

“Shit Romney has gone down in history, with the emphasis on down.”


——————————————————————————————————————————

Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 20

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 20, version 3.0

——————————————————————————————————————————

This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Stay in my A R S E:    Andrew Roller Stories and Essays

-—————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa February 7, 2020.
—————————————————————————————————————————-

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AI 7

Apple Info presents...

Yale is Free!

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by Andrew Roller

Enjoy courses at iTunes U.

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Even Apple doesn’t know you have it.  I’m speaking of iTunes U.  It is an Apple app on your iPhone.  It’s totally free.

When I bought my iPhone, I knew nothing about it.  That included the app, iTunes U.  Being stupid, I spent a month or two calling Apple almost every day.  Often, Apple was able to help me.  However, iTunes U proved to be a stumper for them.

Here’s what happened, whenever I called Apple about iTunes U:

1.  Someone at Apple would speak with me.

2.  He, or she, would transfer me to another person, who was elsewhere at Apple.

3.  That person would transfer me to yet another person, who was elsewhere at Apple.  This third person would be in Apple’s “education” department.  

The third time that I went through this process, I was mistaken for someone I wasn’t.  The tech support person in Apple’s education department thought that I was a professor.  Specifically, he mistook me for a professor who had a course on iTunes U.

I explained that I was not a professor.  I did not have a course on iTunes U.

“Oh!” I was told, by the person at Apple.  “We’re not allowed to speak to you.  We only answer questions, in our education department, for professors who have a course on iTunes U.”

ATTEND iTUNES U

I have figured out how to use iTunes U.  I use iTunes U on my iPad.  Let’s check out its offerings:

1.  Go to your iPad’s “Home screen”.  Look for an orange icon.  Printed on this icon, in white, is an image of the hat I wear every day.  It’s a graduation cap.  ( Yes, people who see me in my graduation cap ask where I graduated from.  I tell them:  “PU”.  I explain that PU stands for Pedophile University.  Oddly, few people ask me anything after that. )

2.  Tap on the iTunes U icon.  iTunes U will open to “Featured”.  Look at the bottom of your iPad’s screen.  You’ll see a horizontal white bar.  “Featured” is in the middle of the bar.  To the left is “My Courses”.  To the right is “Top Charts”.  What do these options mean?

Featured:  This is a splash page meant to lure you into learning at iTunes U.

Top Charts:  Many courses are listed here, in a matter-of-fact way.  Look to the bottom of your iPad’s screen.  You’ll see:  “See All >”

If you tap “See All >”, you’ll see all the courses that iTunes U currently has.  ( Courses may come and go over time. )

My Courses:  If this is your first visit to iTunes U, you won’t have any courses here.

Note:  Once you do have courses in My Courses, you can move them around on that screen.  Touch the icon for the course that you want to move.  Slide it anyplace on the screen.  I mention this since, being a graduate of PU, it took me awhile to learn it.

Let’s find an iTunes U course to put in My Courses:

1.  In iTunes U, tap on Top Charts.  Scroll down to the course, “The Modern World:  Global History since 1760.  University of Virginia.  Modern History.”

2.  Tap on “The Modern World”.  Whoa!  A large box appears, in the center of your screen.  It is titled, “The Modern World”.

3.  Look for a blue button in the upper part of your screen.  Written on this button is:  “SUBSCRIBE”.

4.  Tap “SUBSCRIBE”.

5.  The blue button changes to green.  What is written on the button now?  “GET COURSE”.

6.  Tap “GET COURSE”.

7.  Wow!  Tapping the button sends you to the screen labelled, My Courses.  What do you see there?  An icon for the course, “The Modern World”.  ( You have copied “The Modern World” from Top Charts to My Courses. )

Note:  On the top right corner of the “Modern World” icon is a red dot.  The number “14” is written in the red dot.  I have yet to figure out what that number means.

Continuing:

8.  In My Courses, tap on “The Modern World”.

9.  You are taken to a new screen.  It is titled:  “Modern World:  The Modern World:  Global History since 1760.”  To the left of this screen, written in blue, is “Library”.  Tap there if you want to go back to the My Courses screen.

To the right is written, in blue, the word, “Edit”.  By it are three icons.  Ignore this bullshit.  None of it has anything to do with enjoying courses on iTunes U.

10.  Look to the bottom of your screen.  Four icons are here.  Only two are important, but they’re crucial.  Let’s go through all four icons, from left to right.

Info:  Tap this to see what course you’re enjoying.

Posts:  Irrelevant.

Notes:  Irrelevant.

Materials:  Super important.  When you tap Materials, you’ll be taken to the videos for this course.  As you’re probably not a graduate of PU, you likely haven’t been scouring the Internet for porn.  

Scouring the Internet for porn can give you a virus.  If you tap Materials, and it doesn’t work, you have a virus.  Here’s the good news:  you probably won’t have to do much to get rid of this virus.  When Apple updates your System file ( Settings > General > Software Update ) the virus will be killed.

Continuing:

11.  Tap Materials.  Wow!  You’ll see a number of different icons here.  They’ll be in a vertical line.  Ignore everything here except the videos.  The videos are all you’ll want.  An exception to this might be if you’re enjoying a course in a subject like computer programming.

12.  With regard to “The Modern World”, look for the first video in the vertical line.  It is titled:  “14.7 The Global and the Local”.  Tap the video’s icon.

13.  The video begins to play.  You’ll now hear a lecture.

Note:  If you haven’t downloaded this course, you’ll be streaming this video.  If your Wi-Fi goes down, the video will stop streaming.

To download this video, look to the right of your screen.  You’ll see a thundercloud.  Tap on the thundercloud for “14.7 The Global and the Local.”

Note:  Some courses are audio only.

Note:  Sometimes, a video’s picture won’t be displayed.  You’ll only be able to hear the video.  This problem may vanish the next time you play the video.  Or it might not.

Let’s look at the screen where the video plays.

<  This is at the top left of the screen.  Tap here to go back to Materials.  ( Where the course materials are in a vertical line. )

A slider bar is along the top of your screen.  Slide this bar to move ahead, or back, in the video.

An icon of a sheet of paper is on the top right of your screen.  Ignore this.  If you tap on it by accident, tap it again to get out of the screen that appears.

On the bottom left of your screen is a slider bar for the video’s volume.  You can also control the volume using your iPad’s steel buttons, on the side of your iPad.

The bottom of your screen has standard VCR ( Video Cassette Recorder ) controls.  These include Play, Fast-Forward, and Rewind.  Are you wondering what the icons are that display the number “15”?  Well, if you want to enjoy this video with a 15-year-old girl, just tap here.  PU will provide one.  Actually, tapping the correct 15 icon moves the video 15 seconds forward, or back.

Likely, you’ll stop the video at some point.  You’ll  do this even though the video hasn’t ended.  When I come back to a video, I tap the ‘go back’ 15 icon four times.  This takes the video back a whole minute.  I begin watching from that point.

If you tap the rewind button, the video will instantly rewind.  It will rewind to its starting point.  If you do this by accident, remember that slider bar at the top of your screen!  Adjust it until you find your former place in the video.

When the video ends, it will send you back to the Materials screen.  A problem can arise here.  You won’t remember which video you were watching.  My advice:  when you start a video, write down what video you’re watching.  Then, unlike me, you won’t watch the same video two or three times before you realize you’ve already seen it.  

On the screen where the video plays, ignore the icons at the bottom right of your screen.  ( I, at least, haven’t needed to fool with them. )

HOW SHOULD I LISTEN?

What do I want from iTunes U?  I want someone to talk to me.  I don’t actually watch the video much, I just listen.  To listen, I use Apple’s “Beats Studio 3 Wireless” headphones.  I like the “Matte Black” color.

I highly recommend wireless headphones.  I can accomplish many tasks, while I’m enjoying an iTunes U video, because my headphones are wireless.

Let’s examine the “Beats Studio” headphones.

1.  The headband for the headphones can “break” inward.  If this happens, you haven’t broken your headphones.  Just snap the “broken” part of the headphone back into place.

2.  My headphones came with a charging wire.  They did NOT come with a charging plug.  ( The thing that goes into an electrical socket, on the wall. )  I talked to an Apple store employee about this, some months after I’d bought my headphones.  He claimed that a charging plug is no longer included with Apple’s headphones.

How do I charge my headphones?  I use the charging plug that came with my iPhone.

According to the Apple store employee, no charger plug is sold as a separate item at the Apple store.  If my iPhone charging plug goes bad, do I have to buy a new iPhone?

3.  The headphones can be worn however you like.  Arbitrarily, I’ll speak of their “left” earphone.  It has an ‘on / off’ button.  When I first began using my headphones, they did not want to turn off.  Now, they readily turn off.  I have no explanation for this variance in their behavior.

If you have a problem getting your headphones to turn off, turn off anything they might connect to, via Bluetooth.  In other words, turn off your iPad and iPhone.  If you don’t want to turn off your iPad and iPhone, then take your headphones as far away from them as you can.  Now, you should be able to get your headphones to turn off.

4.  On the “right” earphone, you have three options:

1.  Volume up:  Tap on the upper part of your earphone.  Make sure you’re tapping INSIDE the circular disk embedded in your earphone.

2.  Volume down:  Tap on the lower part of your earphone.

3.  Off.  Click on the center of your earphone.  This action does not turn your headphones off.  It stops the video that you’re playing.  It also shuts off the video’s sound.  Click here to start the video in the place where you stopped it.  ( Or, if you’re now listening to music, use the same actions to start and stop your music. )

When I bought my iPad, I wanted to move everything on my iPhone to my iPad.  A ( non-Apple ) technician accomplished this for me.  First, he erased my new iPad.  ( He erased all the software on it. )  Then, he moved all the software from my iPhone to my iPad.

As a result, I may lack a piece of software for controlling my “Beats Studio” headphones.  I have not suffered as a result.

Nonetheless, let’s cover this topic:  connecting your headphones to your iPad.

1.  Turn on your iPad.

2.  Turn on your headphones.  To do this, press AND HOLD the ‘on / off’ button on your headphones’ left earphone. 

3.  Hold your headphones close to your iPad.  Often, I wave my headphones up and down in front of my iPad.  If my iPad is busy jerking-off to all the porn I put on it, this gets my iPad’s attention.

4.  An informational box appears on your iPad’s screen.

5.  This informational box will now display “Connect”.  Tap on “Connect”.

6.  The informational box will now display “Connecting”.  You simply watch as it does this.

7.  The informational box will now display “Done”.  Tap “Done”.  

Note:  During this process, the informational box will tell you how much of a charge is left in your headphones.  ( Your headphones need to be charged, just like your iPad and iPhone. )

WHAT DO I WATCH ON iTUNES U?

My answer is simple:  watch the videos for courses from Yale University.  The dominant color on a Yale course’s icon is blue.

Why Yale?

1.  In their videos, you’ll be in a real classroom, with real students.  This makes a huge difference.  You’ll enjoy the course much more with the illusion that you’re in a classroom with other people.  ( Sadly, you won’t get to see any of the students, unless a tardy student walks in front of the camera. )  

Note:  All iTunes U videos are pre-recorded.  iTunes U does not offer live online courses.

Continuing:

2.  Real, unplanned things happen in a Yale classroom.  During one lecture, a student demanded that the teacher “Set my people free!”  ( I may be paraphrasing.  I’m not going to chase that moment down amid two dozen hour long lectures. )

3.  Sometimes, a student won’t be paying attention.  The teacher will reprimand the student.  ( This has happened in several Yale courses I’ve watched. )

4.  At times, a teacher will ask a question.  No one in the classroom answers it.  Of the unspoken answer, the teacher says, “C’mon, guys, it’s in the reading!”  Nobody did the assigned reading.

I am grateful to Yale for including these moments.  I’m sure Yale was tempted to edit them out.  That, however, would have harmed the feeling that one is in a real classroom.

If you’re wondering, I had no prior disposition to favor Yale.  The only thing I knew about Yale was that Hillary Clinton went there.  Hillary was cute in the 1960’s.  However, I have no interest in Mrs. Clinton.

Thanks to Yale, I’ve enjoyed the following courses:

1.  Early Middle Ages:  This is my favorite iTunes U course, so far.  The course follows the path blazed by Edward Gibbon.  In the year 1776, Gibbon began publishing his monumental ( and very enjoyable ) book, “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire.”

2.  American Revolution:  A female professor provides a fun, erudite history of this era.

3.  The Civil War and Reconstruction Era 1845 - 1877:  A fine orator delves into this subject.  The Civil War is mentioned.  However, this class is mostly about African American slavery.  Near the end of this course, some of the videos are not in the correct order.

4.  Introduction to Political Philosophy:  It takes this professor awhile to hit his stride.  ( Instead of constantly asking “O.K.?” of his class, in a threatening manner, he should ask, “Questions?”  As in, “Do you have any questions?” )

I just completed the Political Philosophy course.  ( Skipping all the homework and reading! )  In retrospect, I can say that this is a fine course.  Don’t let it bore you.  Stick with it.  The professor improves as the course proceeds.

I have watched, or listened to, courses from other colleges.  West Point provides some videos.  None of them feature lectures.  As such, West Point’s videos were a big disappointment to me.  

West Point has an excuse.  They say, ‘Our professors don’t lecture, here at West Point’.  If I were America’s president, I’d call up West Point right away.  Guess what I’d tell them?  I’ll be joining you tomorrow.  I expect to hear a full day’s worth of lectures.

You can guess what West Point’s professors would say, among themselves, upon hearing that:  “Oh, my God!  What am I going to say in my lecture?  I’ve never lectured on this subject!”

STUPIDITY IS PAINLESS

Having written the above, I wish to add a caveat:  this information is only for pedophiles.  Are you a normal person?  Do you, maybe, hate “child molesters”?  Please!  Don’t benefit from the courses at iTunes U.  Just keep on with your ordinary life, and your societally approved thoughts.  The next Stupor Bowl, after all, is only a year away!  I recommend that you busy yourself popping popcorn for it right now.


——————————————————————————————————————————

Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  AI, Apple Info, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is AI, Apple Info, issue number 7

Arcana:  This is AI, Apple Info, issue number 7, version 2.0

——————————————————————————————————————————

This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Stay in my A R S E:    Andrew Roller Stories and Essays

-—————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa February 3, 2020.
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AI 6

Apple Info presents...

Phone Freedom!

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by Andrew Roller

Comfortably read your phone while you eat.

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“I’ve used drugs in the past.”

- Charlie Sheen, interviewed on the erstwhile Piers Morgan T.V. show, on CNN.

“I’ve looked at little girls in the past.”

- Andrew Roller.

There I stood.  I was on the sidewalk.  Although I was looking at a girl, as a stranger, I noticed something else.

I was by a restaurant.  What I noticed, besides the girl, was something that wasn’t there.

It was the newspaper box.  It was missing.  In fact, a total of three newspaper boxes had once stood outside that restaurant.  All of them were gone.

Today, I went by that restaurant again.  The newspaper boxes were still missing.  The restaurant seats some of its customers outdoors.  Some of the restaurant’s customers were reading as they ate.  Of those who were reading, no one was reading a newspaper.  No one was reading a book.  Every reader was reading his phone.

Some people now check my ARSE ( Andrew Roller Stories and Essays ) when I post something new.  I can hear it now:  Fucking A. Holer, I checked your ARSE and found this?!  Do you think you’re making a profound observation?  Are you so old that you think its 2002, and not 2020?

Wait!  I wrote this column to help you.  Of those who were reading their phone as they ate, they did so as follows:

1.  The person ate with one hand.

2.  The person held his phone with his other hand.

I sometimes eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken.  I read my phone while I’m doing this.  ( Did you know that the book, “Playboy:  the Complete Centerfolds” is now an Amazon Kindle book? )  It is impossible for me to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken food without using both of my hands.

To keep my hands free while I eat ( or, admittedly, jerk-off ), I made a container for my phone.  Here’s how I did it:

1.  I bought a box of Kleenex brand tissue ( ultra soft ).

2.  I wiped my ass with its contents.  ( You think Charmin is soft?  Try Kleenex!  Use two Kleenex per wipe. )

3.  I emptied the Kleenex box.  ( Not all in one shit. )

4.  I got a large, standard pair of scissors.  ( Not the kindergarten kind that my girlfriends use. )

5.  Starting at the top of the Kleenex box, where the tissues come out, I began to cut.  I cut toward one of the box’s long edges.

6.  Reaching the edge, I cut toward the base of the Kleenex box.

7.  I cut far toward the base of the box.  However, I didn’t cut all the way to the base of the box.

8.  Leaving a lip near the bottom of the box, of about half an inch, I cut horizontally.

9.  I cut horizontally until my scissors neared the far end of the box.

10.  I cut upwards.  This upward cut mirrored my prior downward cut.

11.  Having cut back to the top of the box, to its long top edge, I cut once more to the place where the tissues come out.

12.  This completed my task.

If you want a more precise measurement of the “lip” of the box, it’s about 5/8” of an inch.  ( Slightly more than half an inch. )  ( I didn’t bother to measure anything, I just cut as best I could. )

When I eat, I place my ( modified ) Kleenex box before me.  I set my phone in it.  The base of my phone rests against the lip of the box.  My phone leans back at an angle.  The top of my phone rests against ( what remains of ) the place where the Kleenex come out.

There are few geniuses in this world.  How do I know this?  I’ve never seen anyone reading his phone using something he once used to wipe his ass.  Especially, I’ve never seen him doing it while he’s eating.

I have an Apple 6s iPhone.  Yours may be newer, and bigger.  Test your phone in the Kleenex box first.  If your phone is heavier than mine, it may cause the Kleenex box to tip backward.  Your phone will fall out, and land elsewhere.  Then you’ll blame me for breaking your phone.

I always carry a bottle of water with me.  It’s usually half empty.  I carry it in an open Hefty brand “Slider” type baggie.  ( The gallon size. )  This bag, holding the bottle of water, is in a second “Slider” bag.

When I eat, I put my water bottle, contained by its bags, behind the Kleenex box.  There is actually no possibility that my phone could tip over the Kleenex box.  However, I put the water bottle behind my Kleenex box due to an excess of caution.  If my Kleenex box were to tip backwards, it wouldn’t fall over.  It would merely bump against my bottle of water.  Unless, of course, I’ve drunk all the water.  Then, a tipping Kleenex box would knock over an empty water bottle.

The water bottle serves another purpose.  It is a large object.  The twin bags holding it add to its visual size.  My bottle, in its bags, helps to hide my phone.  No one is going to steal a used water bottle in used Hefty bags.  They might steal my phone.  ( Especially if they knew how much porn I have on it. )  However, a person can’t steal something they don’t know is there.

Probably, there is something you can buy to hold your phone, as my Kleenex box does.  However, my method is free.

You might wonder how I carry my phone around.  I live in a small room.  Although it has a lot of porn in it, it doesn’t have a dishwasher.  It doesn’t have a sink with two basins, to facilitate the hand washing of dishes.  ( As if I would ever do that. )  ( Though I do spend hours - okay, days - masturbating. )

The upshot is, I use plastic silverware.  Even though the guards at Kroger give me a hard time, since I look like a jerkoff, I buy Kroger plastic silverware.  Specifically, it is “Kroger home sense ( take note, girls! ) Elegant Plastic Dinnerware Sets”.  The “Sets” equal “150 Pieces”.

( If you’re wondering, I do not use my Elegant Dinnerware on the toilet. )

The plastic silverware comes in a clear plastic box.  The box is divided into three internal compartments.  These are for forks, spoons, and knives.  This box is eternally reusable.  Absent malice, it will be usable long after I’m gone.

A box full of silverware can’t be put to another use.  One must empty it.  This is the method I followed:  First, I ate my T.V. dinners.  Since I needed the silverware box for my phone, I didn’t worry about dieting.  I kept eating as often as possible ( when not masturbating ) until that box was empty!

With my empty silverware box, I did the following:

1.  I put my phone into a Hefty brand “Slider” bag.  ( Gallon size. )

2.  I put my bagged phone in the silverware box.  I put it into the box’s center section.

3.  I put an optometrist’s wipe cloth into the silverware box.  ( Someone once said to me, of my glasses, “that’s optical glass”!  She was disturbed that I was wiping my glasses with a ( paper ) Kleenex.  Kleenex will mar optical glass, over time. )

4.  The optometrist’s wipe cloth isn’t for my glasses.  Its for my phone.  I like to keep my phone’s screen in like-new condition, since I use it to look at the naked girls on my phone.

5.  Having loaded my bagged phone and, separately, my wipe cloth, into the silverware box, I close the box.

6.  Once the silverware box lid is on, there is no chance of it popping off of the box.  It fits as snugly as a Tupperware lid.  It is always virgin tight.

7.  My phone, being in the box’s center compartment, is immune from damage.  My phone naturally sits at an angle in the box.  It is, in essence, surrounded by air, yet within the protective box.  You could play soccer using my box as the ball, with my phone in it.  Unless the lid of my box got knocked off, my phone wouldn’t be damaged.  That is my understanding of the situation.
In conclusion:

1.  Don’t stress yourself by holding your phone while you eat.  Let a Kleenex box hold your phone for you.

2.  Carry your phone in a silverware box.  My phone lacks any protection, except for the silverware box.  ( It does not have a shield for its screen, or armor for its body. )

You might say, of my silverware box:  I need my phone!  I can’t be yanking it out of a baggie, that’s inside a box.  This means you don’t have enough porn on your phone.  If you were worried about seeing, to their best advantage, Tiffany Taylor’s bare boobs, you wouldn’t give a damn that your boss was phoning you.  

Ask Not for Whom the Bell Tolls

Having proven that I’m smarter than people who hold their phones while they eat, I’ll now prove that I’m smarter than Jim Cramer.  Cramer appears on the American cable channel CNBC.  CNBC covers the stock market.

“I want people to own Facebook,” Cramer said, about three months ago.  He said this on the CNBC show, “Squawk on the Street”.  I discussed this fact elsewhere, in my ARSE.  I wondered if Cramer had lost his mind.

Today, on January 31, 2020, I listened to Cramer on “Squawk on the Street”.  He and his co-hosts mentioned a recent story about Facebook.  

Facebook’s Mark Fuckerberg had hosted a conference call.  Cramer, and others, had been unhappy with this call.  ( That usually means Facebook reported earnings that analysts found disappointing, or worse. )

Which raises the question:  when Cramer said, three months ago, “I want people to own Facebook.” - was he right?  Nope.

Here’s what Cramer said today:

“People hate Facebook.  People don’t hate Colgate.”  In other words, invest in Colgate, not Facebook.

In his conference call, according to Cramer, Fuckerberg said, “The nice guy phase of my life is over.”

Cramer did not like Fuckerberg’s comment.  Of it, Cramer said, “That’s the dumbest thing he said.”

I can add a comment:  Fuckerberg was never a nice guy.  People thought he was a nice guy.  On an emotional level, he is akin to a swindler.  People like a swindler, until they find they’ve been fleeced. 

One of Cramer’s investing maxims is this:  “I don’t care about being nice.  I care about making money”.  ( I’m paraphrasing. )  Before I got kicked out of Facebook, I found the platform to be disappointing.  I discuss this elsewhere in my ARSE.  

As a writer, I found the Facebook platform to be horrific.  Comments by strangers, on “my” Facebook page, kept obliterating what I put there.  When I tried to unfollow the strangers, Facebook terminated my account.

Of the startup Oculus, Blake J. Harris writes, “their CEO had a piece of art in his office that was just the Facebook logo on a pack of cigarettes; and employees routinely mocked Facebook for being ‘lame’, ‘poorly designed’, ‘privacy averse’, or ‘just plain parasitic’.”

- The History of the Future, ( Prologue ) Loc 259.

Blake is detailing an event that occurred at Oculus in 2014.  Using Facebook in 2019, I found it to be lame.  It was also poorly designed.  And it was parasitic, to the extent that I was, essentially, forced to friend strangers, who then ruined my Facebook page.  

( All that happened before I got kicked out.  Getting kicked out obliterated my Facebook page altogether. Facebook never returned my content to me. ) 

Blake continues:

“ ... millions ... were increasingly concerned about how Facebook operated, why it operated that way, and what this all meant for the future of privacy, social interactivity and even liberal democracy.”

Here’s my opinion of Facebook, as a stock market investment:  I don’t think you should own it.  I feel it is a bad investment.  

Would you like to know, from an investor’s perspective, the worst thing I experienced on Facebook?  Facebook didn’t cost me any money.  As the great sales trainer J. Douglas Edwards said, 

“Always ask for the order.”  Fuckerberg never asked for the order.  He did have to pay his employees who got rid of me.  And he has to keep paying people, to keep me out.

Currently, Facebook is wealthy.  They may buy their way out of any trouble they’re in, by acquiring a company that performs well.  More likely, as with Instagram, they’ll turn whatever they buy into a clone of “Fuckbook”, in terms of how the company behaves. 

On to Heaven!

I don’t wish to end this column on a down note.  I’ll pass along a comment from You Tube, about the lovely TheAngelPoli.  The comment, though new, is about her when she was approximately 13-years-old.  The commenter stated, with appreciative pride, that TheAngelPoli was a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.  

Why someone would be looking at a 13-year-old girl’s breasts is beyond me.  ( No, I’m not the commenter. )  Like Charlie Sheen’s drug use, my viewing of ‘little’ girls is in the past.  As, indeed, your reading of this article’s opening line is now in the past.

But Wait!  There’s More!  
Somehow, for me, the subject of little girls brings up the subject of masturbation.  Specifically, how does one spell “jerk off”?  I have done extensive research on jerking-off ( plus how to spell it ).  Erudite opinions vary on this crucial subject.

Here’s mine:

1.  When using “jerk off” as a noun, spell it:  “jerkoff”.

2.  When using “jerk off” as a verb, spell it:  “jerk-off”.

Example:

How can that jerkoff A. Holer hope to be our next president, if he spends all his time jerking-off?

Executive ( washroom ) Summary:

There you have it!  Without mentioning Trump’s impeachment, we covered many subjects:  How to read your phone while you eat.  How to carry your phone.  How to wipe your ass.  TheAngelPoli.  Stock tips.  Plus, we discovered the proper spelling of Mark Fuckerberg, Fuckbook, jerkoff, and jerk-off.  ( Plus jerking-off ). 

A hint was even dropped about who you could vote for to be our next president.  I assure you:  if nominated, I will run.  If elected, I will serve.  I will try to do so without jerking-off.

Were I to be your president, I realize you’d have high expectations of me.  A president has to give speeches.  He needs to sound wise.  I’ll take a stab at this tonight:

My fellow Americans ( with the emphasis on “fellow” ): 

Don’t ever get hung up on a girl.

After all, new girls are being born every day.

- Your president, A. Holer


——————————————————————————————————————————

Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  AI, Apple Info, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is AI, Apple Info, issue number 6

Arcana:  This is AI, Apple Info, issue number 6, version 2.0

——————————————————————————————————————————

This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

——————————————————————————————————————————

Stay in my A R S E:    Andrew Roller Stories and Essays

-—————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa February 1, 2020.
—————————————————————————————————————————-

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AI 5

Apple Info presents...

Safari Saves Apple News!

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by Andrew Roller

How to save news stories to your own files.

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In my ARSE ( Andrew Roller Stories and Essays ), I’ve complained vociferously about Google’s You Tube.  However, tonight, to paraphrase James Agee, “Let us now Praise Famous Websites”.

The “Search” function at You Tube’s “Music app” is awesome!

Case in point:

I vaguely remembered a song, from decades ago.  I thought the name of this song might be “Games People Play”.  A search using that phrase brought up nothing relevant.

There was only one other word I remembered for sure, from the song.  The word was:  “Hitler”.

I tried this search term:  “Hitler bonfire”.

Guess what?  I learned that the word “Hitler” never appears in the song that I hoped to hear.  Only “bonfire” does, in the lyric,  “Adolf builds a bonfire.”

Despite my poor search term, You Tube delivered the song that I wanted:  “Games Without Frontiers”, by Peter Gabriel.  This song was You Tube’s top hit.  ( The first item that a search returns. )

On You Tube, you have a choice:  You can purchase a “You Tube Music app” membership.  Or, you can purchase a “You Tube Premium” membership, which includes the “You Tube Music app”.  The difference in price between the two memberships is $3.00 per month.

Note:  Information on Google about You Tube memberships is out of date.  I pay $15.99 for “You Tube Premium”.  The “You Tube Music app”, as a standalone app, is $12.99 per month.

Here’s what You Tube won’t tell you:  ( Or, anyway, never explained to me. )  If you buy just the “You Tube Music app”, you can create “Playlists”.  However, you can’t arrange the items in your Playlist.  To do that, you need to have the “You Tube Premium” membership.  ( There, you’ll see “New playlist” in the “Library” section of “You Tube Premium”. )

It gets more complicated.  On You Tube, you might want to share your favorite music with others.  Those others ( for me, anonymous people ) won’t be able to listen to your Playlists if you have just a “You Tube Music app” membership.  You can only have followers of your Playlists if you have a “You Tube Premium” membership.  ( On You Tube, followers of your “channel” are called “subscribers”. )

My advice:  don’t get stuck with just a “You Tube Music app” membership.  Even if you have no interest in, say, the oodles of gorgeous young girls on You Tube, you’ll want a “You Tube Premium” membership, in order to use your “You Tube Music app” well.

Now let’s discuss today’s headline story ( in my ARSE ).  The headline is, “Safari Saves Apple News!”

Who will be the most successful news provider, in the future?  Me?  CNN?  Fox News Channel?  MSDNC ( Microsoft Democratic National Committee )?

I say, none of the above.  Likely, it will be Apple News.  A new edition of Apple News arrives in my e-mail box every day.  ( In addition, Apple News continually updates itself, on my iPad’s “Home screen”. )

I’ve read some stories in Apple News.  I’ve wanted to keep some of them.  Apple News does offer the option of saving a news story within Apple News.  But what if, somehow, you lose access to Apple News?  What if, in other words, you get kicked out of Apple’s ecosystem?  Wouldn’t it be best to have, independently of Apple News, a copy of an Apple News story that you want to keep?

Today, I’ll tell you how to save an Apple News story outside of Apple News.  The news story will become a PDF or Web Archive document, that Apple can’t block you from reading.

1.  On my iPad, I start on my “Home screen”.

2.  I tap on my “Mail” app.  ( The one Apple provides, on the iPad. )

3.  Here’s the top story in Apple News on January 18, 2020:  “Terrible Secrets in Amish Country”.  It begins:  “A yearlong investigation uncovered 52 official cases of child sexual assault ...”

Naturally, this story is emblematic of our times.  At least America isn’t obsessing over black men sleeping with white women anymore, or “fags”.

The provider of this story is that paragon of moral virtue, Cosmopolitan magazine.

Continuing:

4.  “READ NOW IN COSMOPOLITAN”, Apple invites.  An image of an arrow is helpfully provided.  Tap anywhere on the article.

5.  You are whisked to “COSMOPOLITAN”.  “The Amish ... [ are ] Hiding a Horrifying Secret”, you’re told.

6.  You could save this news story within Apple News.  Let’s save it to your files instead.  Look to the upper right hand corner of your iPad.  You’ll see a red icon there.  It’s an icon of a box, with an arrow sticking out of the top of it.  Tap on that box.

7.  An informational box appears.  In the middle of the informational box, you’ll see a row of colorful icons.  Scroll along in that row until you get to the last icon.  It consists of three horizontal black dots.  The icon is labelled “More”.

8.  Tap on the icon labelled “More”.

9.  A new informational box appears.  It is titled:  “Apps”.  Scroll down in this box until you see “Safari”.  ( Apple’s web browser, that came with your iPad. )

10.  Tap on “Safari”.  

11.  “Safari” launches, and takes you to “cosmopolitan.com”.  The news story about the Amish is presented to you.

12.  In the upper right corner of your iPad’s screen, you’ll see a blue icon.  It is that box again:  the one with the arrow sticking out of the top of it.  

13.  Tap on the box with the arrow.

14.  An informational box appears.  Near the top of the box, you’ll see this word, in blue:  “Options”.

15.  Tap on “Options”.  A new informational box appears.  It is titled, “Options”.

16.  “Send As” is written in the box.  You have four choices:

Automatic

PDF 

Reader PDF

Web Archive

In the past, I made PDFs.  However, when Apple introduced its iPadOS 13, I began having problems making PDFs.  Example:  I went to the Playboy Plus website.  I made PDFs there.  To my horror, portions of Playboy Playmate photos were cut off.  This fact was especially troublesome as, when I made this discovery, I only had the use of one of my hands.

I tried making Web Archive documents instead.  I was successful with those.  To view a Web Archive document, you’ll need a free program from the Apple App Store.  It is called “Documents by Readdle”.  In my experience, this app works perfectly.  Readdle provides prompt, and excellent, customer support.  

I used the basic version of “Documents by Readdle” for months.  A “Professional PDF Editor” version is available.  I bought it, but haven’t used the functionality that it provides.

Continuing:

17.  In the informational box, I choose “Web Archive”.  Tap “Web Archive”.  

18.  A blue checkmark appears beside “Web Archive”.

19.  How do you get out of this informational box?  Look to the upper left hand corner of the box.  You’ll see, in blue, the word, “Back”.

20.  Tap on “Back”.

21.  We’re back to the original informational box.  “Options” is written, in blue, near the top of this box.  At the top of the informational box is this:  “Sex Abuse Crisis in Amish Country”. 

( Of course, a “crisis” only exists, and is regarded as “abuse”, because intergenerational romances are currently prohibited in the U.S.  One could speak of a “crisis” of “anal abuse” among males, if gay liaisons were prohibited. )

Continuing:

22.  “Save to Files” is in the center of this informational box.  By it is an icon of a file folder. 

Note:  You will need to have a file to store your news story in.  My file is titled “aINFO folder”.  I created it some time ago.  

Example:  In the “iCloud Drive” window, put your finger against your iPad’s screen.  Tug down.  You’ll see an icon of a blue file folder.  Tap on that to create a file.  

You can also do this in “On My iPad”.  To find that, go to your iPad’s “Home screen”.  Tap on the icon labelled “Files”.  Look to the left.  Tap “On My iPad”.  When its window opens, tug down in the window.

Continuing:  ( I’ll repeat instruction 22., as a reminder. )

22.  “Save to Files” is in the center of this informational box.  By it is an icon of a file folder.  Tap on “Save to Files”.

23.  Whoa!  A huge informational box appears.  It will probably display all sorts of files that you could send your news story to.  In my case, I’m going to look in this box for “iCloud Drive”.  I’ve found it!  Guess what’s in my “iCloud Drive”?  A file titled, “Leak of F.B.I. Photos of Child Porn”.

Oops!  Let’s skip that one.  Here’s a file:  “Photos of Me Taking a Leak”.

Let’s skip that file too.

Ah, hah!  Here it is:  “aINFO folder”.  Are you wondering why I put an “a” at the start of this file’s name?  I’ll tell you.  The “a” in “aINFO folder” sends this file to the top of my “iCloud Drive” window, where I can easily find it.

Note:  This is true if my files are arranged by “Name”.  Tug down in any window in “Files”.  You’ll see that you can arrange the window’s files by “Name”, “Date”, “Size”, etc.

Continuing:  

24.  Tap on “aINFO folder”.  ( Or whatever you’ve named your folder. )

25.  We are still in the big informational box.  In the upper right hand corner of this box, you’ll see this word:  “Save”.

26.  A new informational box may now appear.  It asks, “Replace Existing Items?”

You are offered three options:

Replace 

Keep Both

Stop

Last summer, on the Internet, I was tracking down every free photo of the porn star “Sloan aka Ivey aka Lilly Anne”.  Very often, I’d get the box asking me if I wanted to “Replace Existing Items?”  Here’s the problem:  there weren’t any existing items!  Every PDF that I was making, of Sloan’s photos on the Internet, was new and different.  

If you get this box, and it isn’t relevant, tap “Keep Both”.

Continuing:

27.  You tapped “Keep Both”.  Whoa!  The informational box vanished!  You find yourself looking, again, at the Amish news story at cosmopolitan.com.

28.  Go to “aINFO folder” ( or whatever you named your file ) to find your news story.  The story will be titled, “Andrew Roller’s Exploits in Amish Country.”

Hmmm.  Wrong title.  Your story will be titled, “Sex Abuse Crisis in Amish Country”.  You’ll see an icon that looks like a sheet of paper, with a blue propellor on it.

29.  Tap on this “propellor” icon.

30.  You’re whisked to the app, “Documents by Readdle”.  You can read the news story here.

31.  The news story, as a “propellor” icon document, is already saved.  It’s saved in “aINFO folder”.

32.  Likely, you’ll want to save the instantly readable version of the news story.  You’re viewing that in the app, “Documents by Readdle”.

33.  Look to the upper right corner of your iPad’s screen.  You’ll see an icon.  It consists of three horizontal white dots.

34.  Tap on the icon with the three dots.

35.  An informational box appears.  In that box you’ll find the phrase, “Save to Documents”.

36.  Tap on “Save to Documents”.

37.  A new informational box appears.  You can alter the displayed title.  Or, you can just tap the word “Done” that you see in this box.

Note:  the displayed title may strike you as too long.  However, the word “webarchive” won’t appear in the title, once you’ve tapped “Done”.

38.  Tap “Done”.  

39.  A small informational box appears.  All you can do is sit and look at this box.  It reads, “File saved”.  That’s good!

40.  You find yourself still staring at the news story.  How do you exit from here?

41.  Look to the upper left hand corner of your iPad’s screen.  You’ll see a white arrow:  <

42.  Tap on the white arrow:  <

43.  You are now whisked to the “Home screen” for the app, “Documents by Readdle”.  At the top of this screen you’ll see, “My Files”.

44.  Scroll down.  Keep scrolling.  You’ll leave a section of blue folders, and scroll on to a section of yellow icons.  Each yellow icon resembles a sheet of paper.  On it is an image of Mick Jagger’s ( zipped ) trouser fly.  ( The yellow icons are zip files.  The blue file folder icons are unzipped files. )  ( You’ll see these if you’ve downloaded zip files from the F.B.I.’s secret child porn site.  You’ll also see them if you’ve downloaded zip files from a website like Playboy Plus dot com. )

Continuing:

45.  Wow!  There it is:  “Sex Abuse Crisis in Amish Country.”  This is an icon of a blue sheet of paper.  The paper has an image of two chain links on it.

Probably, you’re not using your Apple e-mail to run a sex hotline for 12-year-old girls.  However, if you are, no worries!  Even if Apple terminates your e-mail account, you will still have access to the Apple News stories that you’ve saved to your personal folder.  That folder will be named “aINFO folder”, or whatever you’ve decided to call it.  

Note:  please do not name your folder, “Illegal photos sent to me by Andrew Roller.”  Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Continuing:

If you rely solely on Apple News to save your stories, Apple can screw your ass.  Big Tech is infamous for booting ordinary Americans out of their various ecosystems.  If Apple kicks you out of their ecosystem, you won’t have access to Apple News, or your saved news stories there.

I was kicked out of Facebook.  As a result, I’m barred from joining Instagram, which Facebook owns.  Hence, I’m distrustful of “Big Tech”. 

Which raises the question:  how should we view “Big Tech”?  Long before Tech was Big, Bill Buckley had an answer.  Here it is:

“The largest cultural menace in America is the conformity of the intellectual cliques which, in education as well as the arts, are out to impose upon the nation their modish fads and fallacies, and have nearly succeeded in doing so.”

- William F. Buckley Jr., National Review’s mission statement.  ( Quoted in a year 2020 direct mail piece from National Review magazine. )

With “Big Tech” controlling an ever larger share of our news flow, the danger that Buckley warned of is greater than ever.  It may be time to storm the Bastille of “Big Tech”.


——————————————————————————————————————————

Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  AI, Apple Info, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is AI, Apple Info, issue number 5

Arcana:  This is AI, Apple Info, issue number 5, version 3.0

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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Stay in my A R S E:    Andrew Roller Stories and Essays

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Date:  Circa January 28, 2020.
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AI 4

Apple Info presents...

Google Drive gets porn to iMovie!

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by Andrew Roller

Help for jerkoffs and writers.

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Nine months ago, I was an Internet virgin.  I hadn’t been on the Internet in nearly two decades.  Thanks to an attractive blonde at a kiosk, I bought my first smartphone.  It was an Apple smartphone.  

Apple is the only brand of computer that I understand.  All the same, I found my Apple iPhone to be very frustrating.  I wrote to a 12-year-old girl that I felt like throwing my Apple iPhone out the window.  

One day, I made a discovery.  Naked people were on my iPhone.  I’d found pornhub dot com.  I was deeply impressed.

I hadn’t, however, figured out how to properly plug in my iPhone.  It was running on the original battery charge that Apple gave it.  There I was, watching Pornhub videos, as my phone’s charge drained toward zero.  It reached one percent.  Then, with the last bit of charge ebbing, my phone went through various ‘salvage’ modes, until it ran out of power altogether.  My phone was dead.  I couldn’t watch the naked people anymore.

Exerting great mental effort, I finally figured out how to properly plug in my iPhone.

Another problem remained, for several months.  I was unable to figure out how to properly plug in the earbuds for my iPhone.  I even called Apple about this.  Eventually, I solved this problem too.  To quote from a Hollywood movie, where a girl is in bed with a guy, 

“Just stick it in!”  That was my problem, regarding both my earbuds and my iPhone’s two part electrical cord.  I wasn’t pushing hard enough.  

Problems, I’ve found, are part of owning an iPhone.  ( Or an iPad, which is what I use now. )  Today, I hope to help you solve problems that I’ve encountered.

Pornhub dot com is the best porn site on the Internet, free or otherwise.  It is also the most frustrating.  They are constantly changing the terms by which one can become a free member.

Pornhub doesn’t make its own content.  It is the MTV of porn.  ( Speaking of MTV in its original sense. )  A music video on MTV is an advertisement, supplied by a singer or band.  A Pornhub video is an advertisement, supplied by the person or company that made the porn film.  Sometimes, the video on Pornhub is just a clip from a longer video.

Currently, I can watch videos on Pornhub.  However, I can’t download them.  To overcome this, I make a screen recording of the video.

A screen recording doesn’t have sound.  You can access the sound of a screen recording in “Slideshow”.  However, Apple plays its own ( worthless ) music as your screen recording’s music is playing.  

Also, in “Slideshow”, the screen recording’s image is shoved to the top of the screen.  A second ( worthless ) image appears below the screen recording.

To access “Slideshow”, go to your iPad’s “Home screen”.  Find the icon for the “Photos” app there.  Tap on the “Photos” icon.  Find your screen recording.  Tap on your screen recording.

Your screen recording will begin playing at once.  You can let the screen recording play, or stop it.

HOW TO PUT YOUR SCREEN RECORDING INTO “SLIDESHOW” ( IF YOU WISH )

In the screen recording mode, you’ll see a blue icon in the upper right hand corner of your iPad’s screen.  The icon resembles a box, with an arrow sticking out of the top of it.  Tap that icon.  

An informational box appears.  Scroll down in that box until you see the word, “Slideshow”.

Tap “Slideshow”.

“Slideshow” now displays your screen recording.  Your screen recording is shoved to the top of your iPad’s screen.  You’ll be able to hear your screen recording’s sound.  At the same time, you’ll hear crappy music by Apple.

Want to get out of “Slideshow”?  Tap your iPad’s screen.

Now, tap the word “Done” in the upper left hand corner of your iPad’s screen.

Next, tap the blue arrow < in the upper left hand corner of your iPad’s screen.

( That takes you back to the Apple “Photos” app, on your iPad. )

I have covered how to make a screen recording in another article.  Today’s mission:  move a screen recording to iMovie.

I like watching porn movies in slow motion.  In iMovie, a filmstrip appears at the bottom of the app.  By tapping there, I can scroll the movie along at my own pace.

There is a problem:  often, the movie will snap back to its opening shot.  I then have to laboriously scroll back to the scene in the movie that I want to watch.  I’ve called Apple about this problem.  Apple was unable to help me.

Probably, Apple doesn’t want you to do anything that I’m going to tell you about today.  For decades, I’ve found that I’m expected to be nothing but a conformist consumer.  I’m supposed to thoughtlessly gorge on content, created by others.  My views must be whatever “the community” approves of, at any given moment. 

In another article, I covered iMovie in detail.  

Let’s get a screen recording by porn star Mia Khalifa into iMovie.

Note:  If you want free movies featuring Mia Khalifa, visit xvideos dot com, and xhamster dot com.  Both are free porn sites.  By joining, you can download videos from these sites. 

GO TO MIA KHALIFA DOT COM

1.  Boot up Apple’s web browser app, Safari.

2.  In Safari’s search bar, type:  miakhalifa dot com.

( Note:  If you’re brand new, I am choosing to not link directly to this web site.  Remove the word “dot”, plus the spaces.  Put a period in their place. )

Continuing:  

3.  Tap your keypad’s return key.  

( Note:  The Apple “Smart Keyboard Folio” is sold separately.  It is sold for the Apple iPad.  The Apple Smart Keyboard Folio works very well.  It is detachable.  

When you reattach the Folio, you’ll want the Folio’s keyboard to work.  I had to learn about this.  Make sure, once you’ve reattached the Smart Keyboard Folio, that your iPad slips into one of the slots on the keyboard’s surface.  There are two slots to choose from.  Each angles your iPad back from you, as your iPad rests on the keyboard’s surface. )

Continuing:

4.  You are now at miakhalifa dot com.  Read as much of this screen as you wish.  Then, tap “ENTER HERE”.  Paradise awaits!  

5.  If you want the videos here, you’ll have to pay.  Let’s just watch the free welcome video.  As we do that, we’ll make a screen recording of it.

MAKE A SCREEN RECORDING

6.  Tap “PLAY WELCOME VIDEO”.

7.  Set yourself up to make a screen recording.  To do this:  place your finger at the top right of your iPad’s screen.  Now, drag it down from there.  This produces your iPad’s “Control Center”.

8.  ( I like to adjust my screen’s brightness.  I do this in “Control Center”.  To do this, fiddle with the vertical bar that has the sun icon in it.  Usually, maximum brightness is the best setting. )

9.  Start recording what is on your iPad’s screen.  To do this:  tap the bullseye icon, in your “Control Center”.

10.  Let’s make the video player box at Mia’s web site as large as possible.  In the lower right corner of her video player, you’ll see four arrows.  They are an icon.  They emulate an explosion.  Tap this explosion icon.

11.  Start Mia’s video.  How?  In the lower left corner of her video player, you’ll see a single arrow.  It points to the right.  Tap this arrow.

12.  Mia’s video plays through to the end.

Note:  where I live, I can hear people beyond my room.  They can hear me.  Turn down your iPad’s volume before you begin playing one of Mia’s videos.  If you adjust the volume as her video is playing, the volume adjustment will appear as an image at the top of your iPad’s screen.

13.  Mia’s video plays through to the end.  Tap the bullseye, in your iPad’s “Control Center”, to stop recording your screen.

14.  At the top of your iPad’s screen, a notice should appear.  It will read, “You have accessed illegal porn.  Turn yourself in to the F.B.I.”  

Actually, the notice informs you that your screen recording has been saved to Apple’s “Photos” app.  If you don’t see this notice, your screen recording wasn’t saved.  You’ll need to start over.  This was a big problem in the past.  It now looks to be solved.

Continuing:

15.  Mia’s film is at an end.  You’ve made a screen recording of it.  Flick your finger up from the base of your iPad’s screen.  This gets you out of the Safari app.  

Note:  To fully close Safari, drag your finger up from the base of your iPad’s screen, but stop your finger in the middle of your iPad’s screen.  Every app that you currently have open will now appear on your iPad’s screen.  Each app resembles a rectangle.  Tap a rectangle.  As you do, flick your finger to the top of your iPad’s screen.  This will whisk the rectangle, and that app, away.  This is called a “force close” of the app.  “Force close” as many apps as you wish.

FIND YOUR SCREEN RECORDING

16.  Go to your “Photos” app.  To do this:  on your iPad’s “Home screen”, tap the icon for your “Photos” app.

17.  Your “Photos” app opens.  Make it show your various photos.  Probably, your new screen recording, of Mia’s video, will be near the bottom of your iPad’s screen.  It will look pretty much like any photo in your “Photos” app.  However, it will have the video’s length, in time, printed on it.  

You can also find your screen recording in the “Photos” app by tapping on “Albums”.  In “Albums”, scroll down to “Videos”, or “Screen Recordings”.  Your screen recording will be in both “Videos” and “Screen Recordings”.

Continuing:

18.  Tap on your screen recording of Mia’s video.

19.  Your screen recording will begin playing at once.  My advice:  stop the screen recording from playing, so it doesn’t distract you.  ( Mia has a lovely face, and big, beautiful breasts. )  To stop the screen recording, tap on an icon in the upper right corner of your iPad’s screen.  The icon is blue.  It features two vertical lines.

SEND MIA TO iMOVIE

20.  Let’s send Mia’s screen recording to Apple’s app, iMovie!

21.  At the upper right of your iPad’s screen, you’ll see a blue icon.  It resembles a box, with an arrow sticking out of the top of it.

22.  Tap the box with the arrow.

23.  An informational box appears.  Near the midpoint of this box is a row of colorful icons.  Scroll along this row.  Tap on the final icon, labelled “More”.

24.  A new informational box appears.  Scroll down in it.

Where is the icon for iMovie?  There isn’t one.  You have now reached the entire point of this article.  

SEND MIA TO GOOGLE DRIVE

25.  If you tapped on “More”, you caused a second informational box to appear.  “Done” is written in the top left corner of this box.  Tap “Done”.

26.  You are now back at the original informational box.  Once more, scroll along that row of colorful icons.  Find the icon labelled “Drive”.  The image that accompanies “Drive” is a triangle.  The triangle is green, blue, and yellow.  It stands for “Google Drive”.  Tap “Drive”.

27.  A new informational box appears.  “CANCEL” is written in the upper left hand corner.  “UPLOAD” is written in the upper right hand corner.

( Previously, I signed up for “Google Drive.”  You will need to have already done this.  I’ll say more on this point later.)

Continuing:

28.  You are in an informational box.  Tap “UPLOAD”.  Now, sit and wait.  You’ll see your screen recording being uploaded.  Don’t quit out of this area while the upload is occurring.  If you quit out of this area, the upload won’t be successful.  

( I do quit from ongoing projects, like this upload, when I’m doing other things on my iPad.  However, this upload is courtesy of Google, not Apple.  Apple is quite flexible, but Google isn’t.

On the other hand, what we’re doing today is only possible because of Google. )

Continuing:

29.  The uploading is done.  Your screen recording has been saved to “Google Drive”.  Quit out of your Apple “Photos” app.  To do this, swipe your finger up from the bottom of your iPad’s screen.

FIND MIA IN GOOGLE DRIVE

30.  On your iPad’s “Home screen”, find the icon labelled “Files”.  It resembles a blue file folder.

31.  Tap “Files”.

32.  “Browse” appears at the top left of your iPad’s screen.  Run your eye down from there to “Google Drive”.

Note:  Likely, you’ve tapped many times at “On My iPad”.  Previously, nothing could lie loose in there.  Everything had to be in an app folder.  I had many documents, of various sorts, trapped in the app folder for the Aloha browser.  When I deleted the Aloha browser, I lost everything in that folder.

Now, items can lie loose in “On My iPad”. 

Note:  You should be a regular user of “iCloud Drive”.  It is like a second, free hard disk for your iPad.  ( If you’re wondering, “On My iPad” is akin to a hard disk for your iPad. )

Sometimes, you’ll go looking for something in “iCloud Drive” and “On My iPad”.  The item will be “greyed out”.  You’ll have no access to it.  What to do?

Let’s say the “greyed out” item is a nude picture.  Likely, it will be a PDF document.  This PDF document will NOT be in your “Photos” app.

On your iPad’s “Home screen”, tap on the “Files” icon.  This will give you access to all your nude PDF pictures, and other PDF documents.

Let’s say the “greyed out” item is a “Pages” document.  On your “Home screen”, tap on the “Pages” icon.  This will give you access to all your “Pages” documents.

Continuing:

33.  Let’s enter “Google Drive”.  Tap on “Google Drive”.

34.  In “Google Drive” you’ll see a blue icon.  It resembles the thing that is used to begin and end a scene, when making a movie.  I don’t know what this thing is called.  Think, “Cut!” and you’ll probably understand.  The “Cut!” icon is your screen recording of Mia’s video!

35.  Tap on the “Cut!” icon.

36.  The word “LOADING” appears.  Something resembling a wheel spins around.  Sit and wait.  Don’t quit out of this area while “LOADING” occurs, or you’ll botch “LOADING”.  If you do botch “LOADING”, simply begin again at 35., above.

SEND MIA FROM GOOGLE DRIVE TO iMOVIE

37.  Your iPad’s screen is now displaying your screen recording of Mia’s video.  It fills your iPad’s whole screen.  Look to the top right corner of your iPad’s screen.  You’ll see a blue icon.  It features the box with the arrow sticking out of the top of it.

38.  Tap the icon of the box with the arrow.

39.  An informational box appears.  At the midpoint of this box, there is a row of colorful icons.  Scroll along this row.

40.  Tap on the last icon, labelled “More”.

41.  A new informational box appears.  Scroll down in this box.

42.  Wow!  The icon for iMovie is there!

43.  Tap the icon for iMovie.

Note:  Writing this article, I quit from “Google Drive”.  This presented a problem.  I wasn’t sure where I was on my iPad.  To get back to “Google Drive”, tap the “Files” icon, on your iPad’s “Home screen”.

Continuing:

44.  Everything on your iPad’s screen vanishes.  You find yourself in the iMovie app.  You’ll be looking at an informational box.  It is titled, “Select Project”.  Under “Select Project”, tap on “Create New Movie”.

WATCH MIA IN iMOVIE

45.  Your screen recording of Mia gets dropped into iMovie.  Your screen recording is now a filmstrip along the bottom of the iMovie app.  You are at the end of this filmstrip.  How do you get to the beginning?  You’ll see two arrows in the middle of your iPad’s screen.  Tap the small arrow.  It points to the left.

46.  Your movie zips to its starting frame.  Use your finger to control the filmstrip.  You can watch your movie at as slow a pace as you wish.  Want to see the guy “shoot off”?  You can enjoy every second of this.

47.  Beware!  The filmstrip will often snap back to its starting frame.  There is no way to solve this problem.

TAKE A SCREEN SHOT IN iMOVIE

48.  Would you like to take a screen shot ( a still photo ) of your movie?  Stop the movie.  In iMovie, there won’t be any stupid arrow, inside a circle, that shows up in the middle of your iPad’s screen.  You can now take a screen shot.

Note:  to take a screen shot, do the following:

1.  At your iPad’s edges, briefly press and hold both the iPad’s “On” button, and its “Volume Up” button.

2.  You’ll hear a camera’s clicking sound.  This is merely a sound effect.  As the clicking sound occurs, you’ll see a photo appear on your iPad’s screen.  This is your screen shot!  It will be in the bottom left corner of your iPad’s screen.

3.  Tap your screen shot.

4.  Your screen shot will grow big!  The word “Done” appears, in the upper left corner of your iPad’s screen.

5.  Tap “Done”.  At the upper left corner of your iPad’s screen, a menu drops down.  In this menu, tap “Save to Photos”.

6.  Your screen shot is now sent to the “Photos” app, on your iPad.  If you’ve signed up for “Google Drive”, your screen shot is also sent to Google.

Continuing:

If you’re brand new, I can hear your complaint:  the part of the screen shot that I like, from iMovie, is small!

ENLARGE YOUR SCREEN SHOT

A.  Go to your “Photos” app.  Find your screen shot ( a still photo ) there.  Tap your screen shot to “boot it up”.

B.  You are now looking at your screen shot.  It will fill your iPad’s screen.  Put two fingers to your iPad’s screen.  Spread ‘em!  Your screen shot will get larger.  

C.  When your screen shot is large enough, take a screen shot of it.  You are taking a photo of a photo, by doing this.  

D.  Now, go to your new photo.  Put two fingers to it.  Spread ‘em!  Take a photo of this photo.

E.  Repeat this process until your screen shot, from iMovie, is as big as you wish.

ABOUT GOOGLE DRIVE

“Google Drive” appeared on its own on my iPad.  To sign up to use it, I tapped on “Google Drive”.  Then I followed some simple prompts.  So far, I’m quite happy with “Google Drive”.

I have 16,000 photos.  All of them are screen shots, or screen recordings.  I decided to upload these to “Google Drive”.  That took an entire day.  I had no access to my iPad during this time.  My iPad sat on my desk, which is also my kitchen table, uploading over Wi-Fi.

Now, any screen shot that I make goes directly, and immediately, to “Google Drive”.  A screen shot is a still photo.  Sending Google every screen shot I take, on the spur of the moment, could be a problem.  

What to do?  If you come upon a questionable image, don’t make a screen shot of it.  Instead, make a PDF of it, or a “Web Archive” document.  I’ve written how to do this in another article.  The ‘quick and dirty’ instructions are:  on the Internet, in Safari, do ‘blue box with the arrow’ icon > Options > PDF ( or Web Archive ).  Here, the > means:  proceed to the next step.

PROOFREAD YOUR F.B.I. CONFESSION

If you’re a writer, proofreading your work is essential.  Here’s a handy way to do this:

1.  In “Pages”, change the font size of your article’s type to 18 point.  ( Or 24 point, if you prefer. )

2.  Do “Select All” ( in white space, in your document).

3.  Copy your document’s text to your iPad’s Clipboard.  

( You’ll never see “Clipboard” mentioned, in regards to an iPad.  It is an Apple Macintosh term.  Also, there isn’t any way to view your iPad’s Clipboard.  Nonetheless, your iPad has a Clipboard.  Your text, copied from your document, goes to it. )

Continuing:

4.  Your document’s text is now on your Clipboard.  Open your iPad’s “Mail” app.

5.  Probably, someone’s e-mail will be open and visible.  There, look for the blue icon in the upper right corner of your iPad’s screen.  The icon resembles a box with a pencil.

6.  Tap the icon of the box with the pencil.

7.  An informational box appears.  It is titled, “New Message”.  

8.  In the “New Message” box, tap BELOW the grey line, that is under the word, “Subject:”.

9.  Paste in the text from your document.  

( I use “command V” on my keyboard to paste.  Hold down, simultaneously, the keys marked “command” and “V”. )

10.  You can now proofread your article in a font that is considerably different from the fonts “Pages” offers.

A WRITER’S COMPLAINT

I’ll be typing on my iPad’s “Smart Keyboard Folio”.  Banging away, I’ll suddenly lose the last sentence or two that I’ve typed.  They simply disappear.  I’ve tried to figure out which combination of keys, when tapped, causes this problem.  No luck.  I banged away on an Apple Macintosh for years.  No such problem ever occurred.  Why does it occur on the iPad?  Is it so I’ll be forced to buy the more expensive Macintosh?

TURN YOUR iPAD UPSIDE DOWN TO VIEW PORN PHOTOS

Courtesy of a friend, a have a tip for you, if you’re a jerkoff.

Detached from the “Smart Keyboard Folio”, my iPad can stand upright.  That is, instead of being horizontal, my iPad becomes vertical.

My friend has made a discovery.  He has found that many images, from web sites like Playboy Plus dot com ( pbp-ma dot playboy dot com ) look best when his iPad is in the vertical position.

I am not going to say that my friend masturbates for a long time.  However, he does masturbate for a longer time than the capacity of his iPad’s battery, on a single charge.

Guess what?  You can’t plug an iPad into an electrical outlet while it is in the vertical position.  Why?  Because the iPad’s electrical socket is on the bottom of the iPad.  That is where the electrical plug goes. 

Here is my friend’s discovery:

1.  Detach your iPad from your “Smart Keyboard Folio”.

2.  Leave your iPad resting in your “Smart Keyboard Folio”.  HOWEVER, lean your iPad, in your “Smart Keyboard Folio”, against something heavy.  ( Otherwise, the iPad will fall over. )

3.  Turn your iPad upside down.

4.  Your iPad’s electrical socket will now be at the top of your ( upside down ) iPad.  Plug in your iPad’s electrical cord, and connect that to a wall socket.

5.  Your iPad will operate normally, even though it’s upside down.  You, and my friend, can now jerkoff as long as you want.

Meanwhile, I’ll remind my friend to change his phone number.  It is the same as my own phone number.

CIRCUMVENT YOU TUBE CENSORSHIP

Sadly, videos at some You Tube channels can no longer be added to You Tube playlists.  This is due to censorship by You Tube.  Example:  videos at the You Tube channel “Fantastic Gymnastic”.  If you go to a particular video there, “Save” is greyed out.  Also, the video image now takes up nearly all of your iPad’s screen.

You can get around this.  

1.  On You Tube, tap “Subscriptions”.  It is an icon at the bottom of your iPad’s screen.

2.  In “Subscriptions”, tap the icon for the channel you want.  Example:  tap “Fantastic Gymnastic”.  

3.  A list of videos at “Fantastic Gymnastic” appears.  To the right of each video, you’ll see three vertical dots.

4.  Tap the three vertical dots.  An informational box appears.  In this box, you’ll see “Save to playlist”.  

5.  Tap “Save to playlist”.  That will add the video you like to your playlist.  

Google’s You Tube can be extremely slow to respond to your taps.

AMAZON’S HYPOCRISY

My travails with Amazon dot com are detailed elsewhere.  Here’s a quote from “Community Guidelines” that Amazon e-mailed to me:

“We do not allow profane or obscene content.  This applies to adult products too.”

Recently, I found a book on Amazon dot com.  The book is titled, “Two Happy Holes”.  The book, about a woman’s sex life, is an Amazon Kindle Edition.  Here’s a quote from the book’s description, on Amazon:

“Meg ... is introduced anonymously to the world of sex parties by two glory-holes and the huge cocks looking to fill them and her!

“Masturbation with toys

“Anonymous group sex

“MMF Threesome / Deep Throat

“Simultaneous Oral and Vaginal Penetration”

FACEBOOK DEFINED

My travails with Facebook dot com are detailed elsewhere.  

Note:  If one gets kicked out of Facebook, one can’t join Instagram, either.  Facebook bought Instagram some time ago, to eliminate Instagram as a competitor.

Recently, I was reading a book.  It is, “The History of the Future”, by Blake J. Harris.  The book describes a visit by Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg to the start-up company Oculus.  The visit by Zuckerberg took place six years ago, on March 25, 2014.

Zuckerberg made a speech to Oculus’s staff.  Then he took questions from them.  Here is a question that was asked:

“Hey, Mark,” began Chris Dycus, Oculus’s very first employee.  “Some people - not me, of course - but some people think Facebook is evil.”

The quote is from the first page of the book’s prologue.

Let’s look at another quote from the same part of this book:

“... Though everyone in the room was thinking about the public reaction to this acquisition in some abstract way, [ Oculus’s CEO Palmer ] Luckey was already dealing with tangible repercussions:  from dozens of tweets along the lines of ‘FUCK YOU, you fucking SELL OUT’ ... to proposed customer boycotts and even a few death threats.”

Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg wants to replace the dollars in your wallet with his own currency.  His currency is called Libra.  What do you think of a company that some regard as “evil” owning the money that you earned?

In my own experience, I found Facebook to be a fistful of lies.  I am not in favor of my money belonging to a lying, “evil” company.


——————————————————————————————————————————

Copyright 2020 by Andrew L. Roller.  AI, Apple Info, and ARSE, Andrew Roller Stories and Essays, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.   

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  Use You Tube’s magnifying glass icon to search for “Andrew Roller”.  That will take you to my You Tube channel.  Or, on You Tube, tap my sun icon, if you see it.  That will also take you to my You Tube channel.  There, you can see songs and films that I like.  

This is AI, Apple Info, issue number 4

Arcana:  This is AI, Apple Info, issue number 4, version 6.0

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This has been a presentation of A R S E news.

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Stay in A R S E:    Andrew Roller Stories and Essays

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Date:  Circa January 21, 2020.
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ET 19

Editorial Thunder presents...

Fun Girl Web Sites

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by Andrew Roller

Look at girls without getting arrested!

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Where can a guy see beautiful girls?  My first answer would be, You Tube.  However, You Tube is restrictive in what it allows.  Other web sites on the Internet offer more, without violating U.S. law.

It seems to be in the nature of humans to persecute.  Pagan Rome tortured and murdered Christians in public displays.  Later, Rome became Christian.  It then proceeded to persecute pagans.  Hitler gassed Jews.  Never mind that Hitler himself may have been Jewish.  ( According to reputable historians. )

Similarly, America persecutes so-called “pedophiles”, and so-called “child pornography”.

In America, so-called “child pornography” was not illegal, until a U.S. Supreme Court decision, in 1982.  ( New York v. Ferber. )  There followed two decades of widespread persecution, by the U.S. government, plus state and local entities, of so-called “child pornography”.

In that era, we were told that “child pornography” extended to fiction, banged out on a typewriter.  Statues and paintings could be labelled “child pornography”.  I know of a case of a young man sent to federal prison for buying, through the mail, a video tape of girls in swimsuits.

We were told that any photo of a “child” could be labelled “child pornography”.  A photo of a girl wrapped in a parka was “child pornography”, if a jury deemed her to have a coquettish expression.

The U.S. Supreme Court defined “child pornography” in 2002.  ( Ashcroft v. Free Speech Coalition. )  “Child pornography” is one of the following:

1.  A lascivious exhibition of the genitals.

2.  A depiction of someone under the age of 18 having sex.

Never mind that 11-year-olds, in U.S. elementary schools, are routinely inoculated against the HPV virus.  ( The Human papillomavirus. )  That is because these “innocent children” are expected to become imminently sexually active.  ( Not all of them, presumably, but some of them. )

“Anyone who is sexually active can get HPV and genital warts. ... A vaccine that prevents the HPV strains most likely to cause genital warts and cervical cancer is recommended for boys and girls.” 

- Google, December 25, 2019.  Search term:  hpv virus.

“HPV vaccine ... is routinely given at 11 or 12 years of age.”

- HPV ( Human Papillomavirus ) Vaccine:  What You Need to Know.  U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

As Americans, we are deeply concerned about protecting our children.  That’s why we practice “post birth abortion”.  In a “post birth abortion”, a live human being, a baby already delivered from the womb, is “set aside and kept comfortable”, according to Ralph Northam, the governor of the great state of Virgin( ia ).  Northam is a physician.  A white man, he’s been known to dress in blackface.  

What happens when an infant is murdered by “post birth abortion”?  The infant is left to die from dehydration.  Does anyone in Virginia attend Christian religious services?  Does this sound familiar to you?

“I’m thirsty!” - Jesus Christ, as he was being executed, on the cross.

The U.S. Supreme Court says that the government has a compelling state interest in the safety of children.  Apparently, a child is not unsafe if that child is having sex with other children.  The “child” is only unsafe if that “child” is having sex with an “adult”.  

Someone in the U.S. is deemed to be a “child” until that person is 18-years-old.  Never mind that Hillary Clinton called African-American youth ( children ) “superpredators”.

“Did Hillary Clinton call African-American youth ‘superpredators?’ ...   
“Fact check by PolitiFact:  Mostly True”

- Google, December 25, 2019.  Search term:  super predators.

Here in America, we treat children as such, and not as adults.  That’s why we try 250,000 children as adults every year.

“How many kids are tried as adults each year?

“Currently an estimated 250,000 youth are tried, sentenced, or incarcerated as adults every year across the United States.”

- Google, December 25, 2019.  Search term:  children convicted as adults in usa.

“In at least one instance, in North Carolina, teenagers in the United States have been prosecuted as adults for possession of images of themselves.”

- wikipedia.org, Child pornography laws in the United States.  

Footnote 28:  “... Teen prosecuted as adult for having naked images - of himself - on phone.”

Footnote 29:  “ ... Teen’s probation for nude selfies includes accepting warrantless searches.”

Bill Bennet, American moralist, believes in “constructive hypocrisy”. 

“Bill Bennet wrote about constructive hypocrisy as key to social ... “

- Google, December 25, 2019.  Search term:  constructive hypocrisy.

( Infuriatingly, Google fails to supply the remainder of the quoted sentence, even when one clicks on the link. )

Here’s an example of constructive hypocrisy:

Murder is wrong.

However, it’s okay to gas Jews.

Want another example?

It is wrong to demean and dehumanize others.

However, it’s okay to demean and dehumanize “pedophiles”.

Girls are nonetheless quite beautiful to behold, in my opinion.  Here are some fun girl web sites where you can do that:

Angels-Story.net

Wild-Kitty.net

kellykutie.com

teenbeautyfitness.com

I visited the home, or external, web pages of each of the above sites.  All claim to be in accordance with U.S. and international laws.  All the sites are, in my opinion, legal web sites for U.S. citizens to view.

I was unable to access the following web site:

http://www dot candydoll.tv  [ Replace the word “dot” with a period. ]

A video by candydoll.tv was, for a time, on You Tube.  The video featured a girl modeling a swimsuit.  The video did not violate U.S. law.

I do not agree with the current U.S. laws regarding so-called “child pornography”, or so-called “child molesters”.  I feel such laws are far too restrictive, and mostly wholly unneeded.  

However, with regard to the web sites referenced above, I am, for the time being, merely reporting this story.  The content of these sites is not of sufficient interest to me to join them.  I hope such web sites flourish and prosper.  Perhaps one day I’ll join some of them.


——————————————————————————————————————————

Note:  When copying quotes, I do my best to copy them verbatim.  Hence, the quote mark is outside the question mark, in this line:

“Did Hillary Clinton call African-American youth ‘superpredators?’

Note:  I write on an Apple iPad, using Apple’s “Pages” app.  A quote mark will sometimes appear reversed in the Pages app: “.  There is nothing I can do about this.

Further reading:  Google “Mike Diana”.  

Diana “is the first person to receive a criminal conviction in the United States for artistic obscenity”.

- Google, December 25, 2019.  Search term:  mike diana.

I had the privilege of seeing the comic book which got Diana convicted.  At the time, I reviewed self-published, xeroxed comic books.  These were mostly small pamphlets.  

Diana’s comic book consisted of various line drawings.  These drawings followed the “distorted human being” school of artistic representation.  Though such drawings might not be beloved by a conventional stereotype of “grandma”, they were otherwise unobjectionable.  

No further legal appeals are available to Mike Diana.  Such is life in “the land of the free”.


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  On You Tube, tap my sun icon to see songs and films that I like.  You can listen to and view this material there.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 19

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 19, version 14.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa December 26, 2019.
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ET 18

Editorial Thunder presents...

Ignored by Amazon

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by Andrew Roller

Amazon’s worst enemy is itself.

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Some time ago, I bought a book from Amazon.com.  The book was, “The Foundation Trilogy ( Foundation ( Publication Order # 1-3 )”  This edition of Isaac Asimov’s classic has a very poor typescript.  The text is riddled with typos.  Paragraphs are squashed together.  Some bits of the book are apparently missing.

I have found reviews, by others, confirming this fact.  They are on Amazon.com.  I had not seen these reviews earlier.  If you wish to read them yourself, look up The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov, on Amazon.com.  Go to the page where you have the option to purchase the book.  Then, scroll way down on the page.

Excerpts from the reviews I found follows:

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“Not worth the price,” writes Bonnie G.  “Many ( as in MANY ) typos and totally messed up formatting means I’m going t o [sic] return this version.”  

————————————————————————————————————————————————

The only other versions are the three books, of the Foundation Trilogy, sold as individual copies.  Buying this way is more expensive.

————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Irritating Errors” writes Mike.  “... this Kindle version is filled with so many transcription errors it is really distracting.

“I lost count of the number of times ‘fight’ was substituted for ‘right’.  Similar erroneous word substitutions are found throughout this ... version ...  Formatting errors are also on almost every page.  Paragraphs are run together, frequently two or even occasionally more separate paragraphs [ are jammed together ].  And I feel like some text is flat out missing.  Also some what [sic] irritating is the table of contents that appears to be hyperlink[ed] into the [ book ].  [ The hyperlinks ] do not work.  If you want to turn to a specific page in the [ book ], good luck.  It is not indexed like that.  Somehow you will need to know that the page you want is at Location 6723 ...”

“ ... the formatting is ... pretty bad,” writes NatCh.  It’s clearly ( and unsurprisingly ) an OCR [ Optical Character Reader ] scan of a paper text from somewhere, but it doesn’t appear that anyone actually proofed it.  ‘Corner’ is commonly rendered as ‘comer’, ‘torn’ as ‘tom’, [ ‘sir’ as ‘sit’, ‘stern’ as ‘stem’ ], you get the idea.  The paragraphing is equally egregious, dialogue runs together more often than not, making the reader work to keep track of who’s saying what.

“Sure, I saved some money over buying the ( presumably well-edited ) single books, but I’m more than making up for it in frustration and time/effort correcting the text.”

————————————————————————————————————————————————

I sent Amazon’s “Community Guidelines” staff my article, “Amazon Lies”.  ( Available at this very website. )  Amazon has now responded to me.

Once more, Amazon lied.  They claim I sent them “an image”.  I did no such thing.  They said that my review was rejected because “we couldn’t perceive a connection between the image and the product you reviewed”.

Here’s the kicker.  Jasper C., of Amazon, writes:  “We won’t be able to provide further insight or assistance for your request.”

In other words, Amazon is telling me, “Shut up, and go away.”

“The Foundation Trilogy ( Foundation ( Publication Order # 1-3 )” remains for sale on Amazon.com.  Nowhere does Amazon warn future buyers of the book’s shoddy typescript.

Amazon rejected my review, which pointed out the errors in their typescript.  Amazon has ignored the reviewers who have done the same.

Frankly, I find Amazon’s “Community Guidelines” people scary.  In their first e-mail to me, rejecting my review outright, they did not say anything about “an image”.

Here’s part of what they did say:

“We do not allow profane or obscene content.  This applies to adult products too.  [ i.e. Amazon sells adult products, but doesn’t want “profane” or “obscene” reviews of them. ]

“Advertisements, promotional material or repeated posts that make the same point excessively are considered spam.

“Please do not include URLs external to Amazon ... 

“Any attempt to manipulate Community content or features, including contributing false, misleading, or inauthentic content, is strictly prohibited.”

How would you like getting an e-mail like that?  

In the 1990’s, Amazon was a fun company.  I guess it was nimble too, as it grew to be globally dominant.

Today, Big Tech companies like Amazon are lumbering dinosaurs.  They’re infested by people who mistake themselves for ( mortal, vainglorious ) gods.  Amazon sells shoddy merchandise.  Amazon ignores reviewers who point this out.  Amazon, when it’s awake, rejects reviews it doesn’t like, by lying.  ( In my experience. )

Despite the horror that Big Tech has become, I remain hopeful regarding our free enterprise system.  A company that treats its customers badly, like Amazon, Facebook, or Google’s You Tube, is beatable in a free market.  ( The question, of course, is:  do we in fact have a free market? )  

Giant companies of the past have gone by the wayside.  International Business Machines ( IBM ) once made personal computers.  It gave that up long ago.  General Electric ( GE ) is a shadow of its former self.  Here’s a headline from Google, today:  

“General Electric ( GE ):  Stock Sinks As Market Gains.”  Source:  Yahoo Finance, December 17, 2019.”

Where, one might ask, is the search engine Yahoo today?  On December 18, 2019, Google reports:  “Today, Yahoo puts its core Internet business on the auction block.”

To conclude this point:  when is the last time you used Kodak film?

Hopefully, a company will come along that gives Amazon real competition.  Until then, I guess someone like me, who values books, is stuck with Amazon.  Guess who is Amazon’s most potent competitor now?  Itself.  Crap merchandise, haughty employees, and mistreated customers will send Amazon to the grave.


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  On You Tube, tap my sun icon to see songs and films that I like.  You can listen to and view this material there.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 18

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 18, version 2.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa December 18, 2019.
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ET 17

Editorial Thunder presents...

Amazon Lies

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by Andrew Roller

Amazon lies to cover up for its shoddy merchandise.

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Some time ago, I went looking for a book on Amazon.com.  Amazon is easy to use.  Neglecting  the maxim, “the road to hell is broad and easy,” I found what I wanted on Amazon.

It was an Amazon Kindle book.  The book was “The Foundation Trilogy,” by Isaac Asimov.  It had a nice cover.  I ordered a free sample of this book.

The free sample provided the first 10 - 15 pages of this book.  The typescript in that section of the book was good.

I bought “The Foundation Trilogy”.

Whoa!  As I read the book, beyond the section that had been the free sample, I ran into problems.  The typescript became bad.  Many times, because of the poor typescript, I had to deduce what should have been typed, as opposed to what appeared on the page.

In this typescript, paragraphs appear to be squashed together.  

Some bits of this book appear to be missing altogether.

I am a slow, careful reader.  If Amazon continues to sell this shoddy edition, and you buy it, don’t skim the book.  Especially, don’t skim it just to see if I’m lying.  Someone who skims the book might not notice the errors.

“The Foundation Trilogy” isn’t the only Kindle book that Amazon has sold me with typescript problems.  I have found typescript problems in other Amazon Kindle books.  For some reason, I know passages from the Victorian sex novel “Beatrice” by heart.  The first word of Chapter Ten of “Beatrice” is “I”.  That word is missing.

I had never complained to Amazon about their shoddy typescripts.  Even though the typescript for “The Foundation Trilogy” was the worst I’d encountered, I didn’t complain about it.

Last week, Amazon sent me an e-mail.  Their e-mail solicited me for a review of “The Foundation Trilogy”.  I provided a review.  My review was rejected outright.

( If you wish to read my review, it is in my article, “Big Tech Blacklist?” on this very website. )

In my review of “The Foundation Trilogy”, I mentioned the book’s shoddy typescript.

When Amazon rejected my review, I troubled myself to try to find out why.  This wasn’t an easy process.  Figuring out how to contact Amazon at all took me some time.  I was then passed between, literally, a dozen people.  The last person I spoke to filled out some sort of form.  ( After I said I was unable to. )

Amazon has now told me how I violated their “Community Guidelines”.  Amazon’s response:  “...the image on your review titled ‘Asimov’s classic marred by typos’ for ‘The Foundation Trilogy ( Foundation ( Publication Order # 1-3 )’ doesn’t comply with our guidelines.

“We couldn’t perceive a connection between the image and the product you reviewed.  To meet our guidelines, the image must be relevant to the product.

“For more information about acceptable image content, see the Sharing Your Own Customer Images page.”

Amazon is lying.  I didn’t provide an image.  Why would I provide an image for a book review?  Who would even want an image to accompany a book review?  The subject in a book review is:

1.  The quality of the written work.

2.  The book’s cover.  ( An image of which Amazon itself provides. )

3.  The quality of the typescript.  ( The quality of the typescript was never an issue, when books were sold on paper. )

Amazon is a multi-billion dollar company.  It would cost them little to hire people to read the Kindle books they produce, and identify typescript errors.

Amazon sold me an Amazon Kindle book with shoddy typewritten content.  Apparently, Amazon prefers lies to the honest work of selling quality books.

I have never asked Amazon for a refund on “The Foundation Trilogy”.  Although this book only costs $4.95, Amazon has never offered me a refund for it.


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  On You Tube, tap my sun icon to see songs and films that I like.  You can listen to and view this material there.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 17

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 17, version 3.0

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Date:  Circa December 17, 2019.
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ET 15     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Big Tech Blacklist?

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by Andrew Roller


Some time ago, I was kicked out of Facebook.  Facebook gave no meaningful reason for why I was kicked out.  Facebook owns Instagram.  Recently, I tried to join Instagram.  I was refused.

One would think the problem ends there.  A few days ago, Amazon solicited a book review from me.  They solicited this review by e-mail.  

I submitted my review to Amazon. My review was rejected outright.  Amazon claimed that my review violated their “Community Standards”.

Uh Oh.

The reason I eventually pried out of Facebook, for my being kicked out, was that I violated Facebook’s “Community Standards”.

The e-mail address that I have on file at Facebook is the same e-mail address that I have on file at Amazon.

So, why did Amazon reject my review?  I can hear it now:  that’s your problem, dude.

Is it?  What if Facebook put me on a Big Tech blacklist?  What if Facebook shared its blacklist with Amazon?

What if you’re Big Tech’s next victim?

I spoke with Amazon, via e-mail, and chat.  ( Amazon did not provide a telephone contact. )

Using Amazon chat, I was passed among a dozen people at Amazon.  No one had any answers for me.  Supposedly, someone at Amazon will get back to me, in the future, about my rejected review.

I am forced to the following conclusions:

1.  Big Tech has a blacklist.  Even though Amazon and Facebook are separate companies, they share information about me, and you.

2.  Your e-mail address is one of the things that Big Tech uses on its blacklist.

3.  If one Big Tech company bans you, all the others will too.  This won’t affect web sites that you’re currently a member of.  However, you may be unable to join other web sites that Big Tech owns.

4.  Alex Jones, of Info Wars, was banned by all the Big Tech companies.  He was banned from them all in a single day.

( I have never followed Alex Jones.  However, his plight was reported in various places, including on the Fox News cable T.V. show, “Tucker Carlson Tonight”. )

I have stated the problem.  What is the remedy?  Vote for Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren.  Warren feels that Big Tech has far too much power, and far too little competition.

I am not pitching for Ms. Warren.  I am simply saying, for those who demand an answer in an essay, that’s your answer.  Warren promises to “break up” Big Tech.

As for myself, I am extremely annoyed by how cozy the Big Tech companies are, with one another.  “Sign in with Facebook!” one is told, at a web site that is, supposedly, a competitor to Facebook.  The same cozy relationship exists between alleged competitors like Apple and Google.

Such power is dangerous.  In China, the government assigns a person a “social score”.  If your “social score” is low, you are prohibited from doing a variety of things.  You aren’t prohibited as a convicted criminal, after a trial.  You’re prohibited as an ordinary person.

It is one thing for a government to set up something like a “social score”.  It is quite another for a company to do so, and then disgrace you across the Internet. 

Big Tech has brought some benefits to our lives.  However, the bill for those benefits is now coming due.  We pay that bill to unelected people in Big Tech, in the form of our freedom.

For the curious, my review that Amazon rejected is printed below.  As Bill O’Reilly would say, “Hide the kids!”

Headline:  Asimov’s classic marred by typos.

Book:  The Foundation Trilogy ( Foundation ( Publication Order ) #1-3.  This is an Amazon Kindle book.

Author:  Asimov, Isaac.

Review:  This edition contains the following, by ( now deceased ) science fiction author, Isaac Asimov.

1.  Asimov’s Foreword to the fourth novel in his Foundation series.  The fourth novel is titled, “Foundation’s Edge”.  It was written decades after Asimov’s classic “Foundation trilogy”.

2.  Asimov’s trilogy:

Foundation

Foundation and Empire

Second Foundation

My observations:

1.  I believe that George Lucas’ original film, Star Wars, and its two immediate sequels, were influenced by Asimov’s Foundation trilogy.

2.  Asimov’s Foundation trilogy is compulsively readable.

3.  I first read this 1940’s trilogy in the 1970’s.  It seemed eminently up to date.  Now, it is woefully out of date, in terms of some of the technology portrayed in the book.  Don’t fight the technology.  Stick with the overall story, and you’ll enjoy this book very much.

4.  Foundation’s Edge was released in about 1983.  I read it then, and didn’t like it.  My advice:  enjoy Asimov’s Foundation trilogy.  You can’t consider yourself a proper fan of science fiction unless you know this book.  As for the later books:  I may, or may not, attempt them again.

5.  You may want this Kindle edition for Asimov’s Foreword.  The cover of this book is nice too.  However, this edition is horribly marred by typos.  Paragraphs might be squashed together, as well.  I wonder if some bits of text were left out completely.  This edition needs to be completely revamped, in terms of the typewritten text.


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  On You Tube, tap my sun icon to see songs and films that I like.  You can listen to and view this material there.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 15

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 15, version 1.0

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Date:  Circa December 17, 2019.
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ET 16

Editorial Thunder presents...

Youth & Art Destroyed by You Tube

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by Andrew Roller


A month or so ago, a new channel appeared on You Tube.  The channel’s name was “Youth & Art”.

The owner of “Youth & Art” posted videos of young girls.  Often, the girls were featured in beautiful natural settings.

As best I could tell, the owner of “Youth & Art” didn’t make these videos.  He, or she, collected videos from various places.  The person then posted these videos on his You Tube channel.

As best I could tell, the owner of “Youth & Art” had permission, from the relevant copyright holders, to post the videos.

Nothing I saw on the “Youth & Art” channel violated any United States law.

You Tube has now destroyed the channel “Youth & Art”.  Every one of the “Youth & Art” videos was deleted.  The reason given was:  “This video has been removed by the user”  ( No period appears at the end of the sentence. )

I watched videos on “Youth & Art”.  I learned enough about the channel to know that the owner would not have voluntarily removed his videos. 

The “Youth & Art” channel itself remained, for a few days.  Visitors to “Youth & Art” were given this lie:

“This channel doesn’t have any content”  ( Again, You Tube omits to end its sentence with a period. )

“Youth & Art” had content, until You Tube demanded that all its videos be removed.

As of this writing, the channel “Youth & Art” no longer exists on You Tube.

Big Tech companies create information about us.  Apparently, Big Tech companies then share that information, that they created, among themselves.  One Big Tech company can decide that you’re a “bad” person.  You have almost no chance to appeal this decision.  The company that created this information then shares it with its ( supposed ) Big Tech competitors.

Big Tech is also regulating our speech.  The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution guarantees us free speech rights.  Big Tech is stripping us of those rights.  As most communication now flows through one or more Big Tech platforms, it is these companies, not the Constitution, that is regulating what we say.

When is the last time you voted for a Big Tech company to regulate your speech?  When is the last time you voted for some weenie, working for a Big Tech company, to decide what you can say?

It is time to “break up” Big Tech.  Your liberty should not be the plaything of Big Tech.


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  On You Tube, tap my sun icon to see songs and films that I like.  You can listen to and view this material there.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 16

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 16, version 1.0

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Date:  Circa December 16, 2019.
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ET 14     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Instagram Lures Child Labor

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by Andrew Roller   

A few months ago, I got kicked out of Mark Suckerberg’s Facebook.  That taught me a lesson.  The lesson is this:  Facebook is a nest of lies.  

You would think that’s as bad as a company can get.  Not when Mark Suckerberg is involved.  

Mark Suckerberg owns Instagram, as well as Facebook.  It turns out that Instagram is hoping to enlist children, around the world, to engage in child labor, to boost its advertising revenue.

Mark Suckerberg is a billionaire, many times over.  Nonetheless, he hopes to exploit children, to make himself even richer.

Read my letter to my acquaintance, Avon, to find out everything I know about this sick story.

Dear Avon,

You’re on Instagram.  Instagram is removing “likes”.  Instagram says they’re removing “likes” to reduce “cyber bullying”.

This is a lie.  Today’s Apple News reports a different story.

Source:  Apple News, December 6, 2019.  6:01 a.m.  

Apple News should be in “Mail”, on your iPhone.

If you would like to read the article in Apple News about Instagram, do the following:

1.  Tap “Apple News” in “Mail”.

2.  Tap on the actual “Apple News” document.

3.  Scroll down on the left side of the “Apple News” document.

4.  Tap on “Technology”, on the left side of the “Apple News” document.

5.  If you don’t see “Technology”, type “Technology” into the Search field, at the top of the page.

6.  On the “Technology” page, look for this story:  “CNBC:  Instagram Testing Theory...”

( CNBC is the originator of this news story.  CNBC is an American cable T.V. channel, about the stock market. )

CNBC’s story can be summarized as follows:

1.  Instagram hopes that by hiding likes, users will post more original content.  If you post more original content, you’re spending more time on Instagram.

2.  If users, like yourself, post more original content, Instagram can sell more ads.

Conclusion:  Instagram isn’t trying to protect you from “cyber bullying”.  Instagram is trying to get you to spend more time on Instagram, and post more content, so they can sell more ads.  ( You are, essentially, being induced to become child labor for Instagram. )

Below are relevant quotes from the CNBC story:

“Inside Facebook’s growth and data science teams, there is a hypothesis that getting rid of ‘likes’ may be an effective tactic for getting users to post more original content on Instagram, three former employees told CNBC.

“The theory goes that by hiding like counts, users may feel less self-conscious when they post photos or videos that don’t receive many likes.  This in turn may serve as a catalyst for getting users to post more often. ...

“More posts means users spend more time on Instagram, and therefore grows the company’s ability to show more ads.  Instagram is a critical part of Facebook’s future.  It is the most popular social app among teens. ...

“In recent years, as Instagram content became more polished and saturated with content from professional influencers ... the platform began to see more users delete or archive their original posts - especially posts that did not receive many likes, one of the former employees said.

“Facebook’s growth and data science teams developed a hypothesis that getting rid of likes would make users feel less self-conscious when their posts don’t receive much engagement, spurring them to post more. ...

“Under the changes, users will no longer be able to compare their posts’ like counts to their peers, but they’ll still receive a notification for each individual like.  Those notifications could serve as an additional catalyst to get users to post more often.

“In addition, people on Instagram tend to mimic the behaviors of their close friends and family, so getting a few users to start posting original content more frequently could create a viral effect, the former employees told CNBC.

“[Head of Instagram Adam] Mosseri once briefly acknowledged removing likes could increase engagement, tweeting “It’ll likely effect [sic] how much some people engage on Instagram, probably liking a bit less and posting a bit more...”


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

I am on You Tube as “Andrew Roller”.  On You Tube, tap my sun icon to see songs and films that I like.  You can listen to and view this material there.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 14  

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 14, version 4.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa December 17, 2019.
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SS 6

Super Songs presents...  

The Worst Days of the Year

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“Danatar”, otherwise known as Dana Taranova, is my muse for this music playlist.  She is “Danatar” on You Tube.  Dana is also on Mark Suckerberg’s Instagram, and she’s easily found on Google.  ( Unlike me. )


“The question isn’t, ‘How do you get on Roller’s mailing list?’ “The question is, ‘How do you get off?’”

- Rick Howe, circa 1990.


The Worst Days of the Year

by Andrew Roller


“Ain’t no hangman going to He ain’t gonna put a rope around me.”

- Jimi Hendrix.


“Don’t say ain’t.”

- My father.


Dear Dana,

I don’t recall the exact decade in which this incident occurred.  As is my habit, I woke up at noon.  I found that I had something in common with the tall, muscular, manly Odysseus.  I was hungry.

Like any respectable young person, I proceeded to McDonald’s.  Whoa, on this weekday, there were lots of open spaces in McDonald’s parking lot.  In fact, I seemed to be the sole customer.  I was pleased - no waiting in line today, to eat!

I parked my car.  ( Okay, maybe it was my dad’s car.  Having once gotten hold of his car keys, I went to a store with them.  I had a duplicate set of keys made, for my dad’s car.  I don’t think my dad found out about this. )

I walked to McDonald’s front door.

I found out I was too early to eat at McDonald’s, on this day.  A sign on the door read:  “McDonald’s is closed today, so that our employees can share Thanksgiving with their family and friends.”

You can imagine my response, as I stood there.  What family?  What friends?  ( In later years, when I was young, my parents had a habit of absenting themselves.  This left me in my usual condition in life - alone. )

I was not pleased to find that McDonald’s was closed.  I had yet to master the art of buying groceries.  Likely, on that day, the grocery was closed too.  

Thankfully, you are spared Thanksgiving.  It is an American holiday.  The only holidays worse than Thanksgiving are Christmas, and New Year’s.  Everything closes.  A guy like me finds himself standing at a place like McDonald’s, or the post office, or the bank, with nobody there.

Also, if one follows the news, such as on T.V., there is little real news during the holidays.  

The most one can hope for is to watch a movie, but not at a theatre.  The theatre is closed, “so that our employees can share Thanksgiving with their family and friends.”

Perhaps you would like to know more about Thanksgiving.  I’ll spare you a saccharine version of the holiday.  Try the film, “Planes, Trains and Automobiles.”  This 1987 comedy stars Steve Martin and John Candy.

I can hear it now:  “Andrew, are the people in this film dead?”  Okay, John Candy is dead.  Steve Martin is alive, but he no longer considers himself to be a movie star.  ( His best movie is his first important one:  The Jerk.  Many later films by Steve Martin are nearly worthless. )

“Planes, Trains and Automobiles” is a realistic portrayal of Thanksgiving, as it is experienced today.  ( And in the 1980’s. )  The movie was a huge hit in America.  Crucially, given that I’m the one writing this, I liked “Planes, Trains and Automobiles.”  Like “Planet of the Apes” ( in the Nixon era ), the film has the A. Roller seal of approval.  ( That’s A. Roller; not, as some would say, A. Holer. )

As an aside, I can propound further on the Nixon era “Ape” films.  Five films were made during this time.

1.  The first film was based on a novel, “Planet of the Apes”, by Pierre Boulle.  ( Yes, he is now dead. )  I have not seen the modern “Ape” films.  However, none of the Nixon era films present the huge shock that awaits one who reads the “Ape” novel.  As I recall, the “Ape” novel was rather boring.  However, if you’re willing to wade through it, you will be rewarded at the novel’s last page.

2.  “Conquest of the Planet of the Apes” is the fourth in the series.  Despite the snazzy name, I found it the least interesting of the films.

3.  The final film, “Battle for the Planet of the Apes”, is probably underrated.  It has the feel of a Saturday matinee movie.  However, what audiences longed for throughout the “Ape” films is finally delivered.  ( If you’re thinking of lots of gunfire, you’re “hot”, as one would say, in a guessing game. )  Do you ride in a school bus?  There is a ghastly scene involving a school bus in this movie.  ( Yeah!  It’s the 1970’s!  Nothing was sacred then.  God help the modern moviegoer, who thinks a superhero film qualifies as a cinematic experience. )  

By this winding path, we now come to Andrew Roller’s rock music playlist.  Every song is currently available, for free, on You Tube’s Music app.

1.  Song:  Hey Joe. Artist:  Jimi Hendrix. Album:  Experience Hendrix:  www.jimihendrix.com  [ This is a song that includes a video.  This is how the song / video is presented on the You Tube Music app.  Ed. ]

[ I have discovered the song lyric website “genius.com”.  As needed, I’ll supplement You Tube’s information with that at genius.com.  Hence:

Album ( genius.com ):  The Jimi Hendrix Experience:  Are You Experienced [ US Version ].  [ Check out that way - cool 1960’s record album cover!  Ed. ]

One who is uninitiated to American culture may think this song is about a man who “gave” his “old lady ... the gun”.  This legendary song, by America’s most famous African-American musician, touches on several other themes:

a.  The easy availability of firearms in America.

b.  The past tradition, in America, of enforcing white supremacy by “lynching” ( hanging ) black men.  ( There is always a “threat” to “moral society” in America.  The “perpetrator” designation changes, but the violence goes on. )

c.  The racism that persisted in America, in the 1960’s.

( Some will argue that guns remain too available in America, and that racism remains. )

2.  Song:  Cry Little Sister. Artist:  Marilyn Manson. Album ( genius.com ):  The New Mutants.

To me, this song evokes a perverted religious hymn.  Having endured too many ordinary hymns, in church services, I couldn’t resist recommending this.

3.  Song:  Video Killed The Radio Star. Artist:  The Buggles. Album:  The Age Of Plastic.

This 1979 song foreshadowed the dawn of music videos.  Such videos came of age in 1981, when MTV ( Music Television ) began broadcasting.  MTV was a huge success in the 1980’s.  Simply listening to a song, without watching its video, became passe.

In MTV’s early years, if you got on MTV, as a singer or band, you became a star.  In my opinion, a lot of crap won acclaim as “music”, thanks to endless play on MTV.  This happened to such a degree that I have trouble damning such music.  I, too, wound up being exposed to such songs, so often, that I came to accept them as “music”.

Last I checked, MTV has mostly abandoned music videos.  They don’t appear at all on MTV’s main channel.  They may have been dumped by MTV’s alternate channel too.  If you do find videos on an MTV channel, there are a lot of ads.  This is annoying, since a music video is itself an advertisement, for the singer or band in it. )

You Tube’s most popular fare is music videos.  What does that say about You Tube?  If your most popular item is something that most people ( including MTV viewers ) ignore, you can’t have much of a future.  

My source for the above comment is on You Tube.  It is this video:  Top 10 Most Viewed Videos on YouTube.  Channel:  Top Trending.

Here’s an interesting fact.  You Tube is conventionally spelled “YouTube”.  However, when You Tube sends me a ( garden variety ) legal document, the company calls itself “You Tube”.

4.  Song:  Chatterbox - Live Artist:  Sid Vicious. Album:  Sid Vicious Selected Favorites.

Here, my advice is the opposite of that given in a previous playlist.  On this album, I recommend the song, “Chatterbox - Live”, NOT “Chatterbox - Alternate Live”.

Who can get through the day without some unbridled punk rock?  Annoyed by your neighbors?  Spare them Joe’s gun.  Sid Vicious will have your neighbors begging for mercy.

You might wonder what 1960’s dancing was like.  I didn’t get to partake of the activity.  However, I have seen it, in documentaries and movies.  Like much that was then consigned to “the past”, 1960’s dancing spurned choreographed dance moves.  To dance, you simply wiggled your hips around, and swung your arms some.  Want more?  Say, “Groovy, baby!” and, “Let’s go back to my pad.”  I’ll admit it:  for myself, I still scorn “dance moves”.  Maybe that’s why I never find myself dancing.  In my view, “break dancing”, and its offspring, are blasphemy.  ( However, I love watching you dance. )

5.  Song:  Cherry Bomb. Artist:  The Runaways. Album:  The Runaways:  Featuring Joan Jett, Sandy West, Jackie Fox, Cherie Currie, Lita Ford.  [ I have always known this album as “The Best of the Runaways”.  Ed. ]

“Cherry Bomb” is the best song by The Runaways.  It was on their first album.  Here’s a truth about many bands:  their first album is often their best.  If you want to make a quick assessment of a band, listen to their first, or first commercially successful, album.  

6.  Song:  I Turned Out A Punk ( lp ). Artist:  Big Audio Dynamite. Album:  Big Audio Dynamite.

I tend to have friends who I never actually meet, face to face.  This was true in the 1980’s, and 1990’s.  I sold xeroxed pamphlets through the mail.  So did others.  Perhaps due to my involvement, the “small press movement” was soon engulfed in endless warfare.  This consisted of writing, drawing, and publishing.  Specifically, writing, drawing, and publishing in a way that certain others might find obnoxious.

Even with someone I know ( whom I’ve never met ) I can be a pain.  Such a person loved “BAD”, or Big Audio Dynamite.  I promptly named his favorite band “Big A—hole’s Diarrhea.”  He was not pleased.

However, I’ve loved “I Turned Out A Punk” from the first moment I heard it.  ( As a “low rotation” video, on MTV’s show, “120 Minutes”. )

This song does not have a lot of musical variety in it.  But, God!  I feel like heaven has arrived, when it begins to play.  I ( literally ) turn up the volume on this song.  

7.  Song:  Dream Police. Artist:  Cheap Trick. Album:  Cheap Trick | Dream Police.

In college, I volunteered at a student radio station.  I never got to be a disc jockey ( DJ ) there.  One person who was a DJ was a fat, middle-aged woman.  ( Heaven knows, she might have only been 30-years-old, but I was younger, so she was “middle-aged”. )

In fact, age can be defined thus:

Age 0-25 equals youth. Age 26-50 equals middle age. Age 51-75 equals old age.

Google lists the average human lifespan at 79 years.  Hence, one can add a year or two in regard to what I’ve listed, above, but the result is the same:  age 55 is not “middle-aged”.  It is old age.  ( For humans, not vampires. )

As for the “middle-aged” woman, she had a nightly broadcast.  This was on the college’s ( very low-wattage ) student radio station.  Every night, when starting her show, this woman played the same song.  It was by Cheap Trick.  The song may have been the one I’ve recommended, above.  Having little experience with American culture, this was my first exposure to Cheap Trick. 

8.  Song:  Bad Reputation. Artist:  Joan Jett. Album:  Joan Jett:  Bad Reputation.

Joan Jett is my favorite singer.  I love her as a member of The Runaways, and on her own.  ( She was also known as, “Joan Jett and The Blackhearts”.  As such, Joan Jett was the sole star, of many fine songs.  “The Blackhearts” amounted to nothing more than backup singers. )

“Bad Reputation” is Jett’s best song, as a post-Runaways singer.  It is on her first album.

As time went by, Jett relied increasingly on “covers”.  She re-recorded songs that had been released, previously, by others.  I was not pleased by many of Jett’s “covers”.  “Everyday People” is a classic example of a crap “cover” by Jett.  I am speaking of the version on her album, “Album”. 

Try annoying your neighbors with “Everyday People”.  You can’t.  ( Perhaps if the volume is turned up high enough, someone will complain, but solely for that reason. )

Disappointed by Jett, I quit buying her albums.  Like the Ramones, in their day, Jett never had much commercial success.

9.  Song:  Somebody To Love.  ( Mono Single Version ). Artist:  Jefferson Airplane. Album:  Surrealistic Pillow.

Jefferson Airplane was a top band in the 1960’s.  They continued, with some success, as “Jefferson Starship” in later decades.  “Somebody To Love” is their second most famous song, after “White Rabbit”.

10.  Song:  Legend Of A Mind. Artist:  The Moody Blues. Album:  The Moody Blues:  In Search Of The Lost Chord.

When I first saw this band, some decades had passed, since their formation.  They were old men.  Singing “Legend Of A Mind,” they became visibly exhausted.  I watched this as a program on Public Television ( PBS ).

Timothy Leary is the star of this song.  A psychologist, he advocated using the drug LSD in pursuit of mental enlightenment.  This was made illegal in America.  As Leary continued his work, U.S. President Richard Millstone Nixon called Leary, “the most dangerous man in America”.

Leary also experimented with marijuana.  This, too, was made illegal under American law.  ( Today, recreational marijuana use is increasingly legal, on a state by state basis, in America. )

“Turn on, tune in, drop out”, became a prime slogan of “the dope decade”, as the drug-loving 1960’s are now called.  Leary was eventually sent to prison for possessing marijuana.

Sadly, LSD does not expand one’s mental abilities.  LSD turns off parts of one’s mind.  This results in the “colors” people reportedly experience, while on LSD.  Users of the drug complain, in later years, of “acid flashbacks”, which they dislike.  Hence, my advice:  skip LSD’s pretty colors.  Watch the film “2001: A Space Odyssey” instead.  It’s a great film, with lots of pretty colors, near the end.  ( The film was released in 1968. )

As for marijuana, one has only to watch the film, “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”.  Actor Keanu Reeves plays a heavy marijuana user in this 1989 film.  Reeves’ character is a fun guy, but nobody would mistake him for a genius.  In real life, such a person winds up, at best, as an assistant manager at a chain store.  Nothing truly matters to a “pothead”, except the next “joint”.  

“We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.”  This is the classic opening line of the top novel of “the dope decade”.  The novel is “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”, by Hunter S. Thompson.  I highly recommend this book, and the movie, of the same name.  The movie stars Johnny Depp.  He is best known as Captain Jack Sparrow, in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films.

I am still entranced by your Christmas shopping video:  “HOBOrOAHNN (etc.)”  Today, much of what one once had to pay for, such as records, are free, or nearly so, on the internet.  As are videos of beautiful girls, like you!


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  SS, Super Songs, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 6.

Arcana:  This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 6, version 1.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa November 27, 2019.
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F.B.I. Warning!  This web site is off limits to all United States visitors.  Accessing this web site will result in your prosecution to the fullest extent of the law, as soon as the First Amendment is repealed.  By reading this notice, you are required to notify all those you know to not visit this website.

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SS 5

Super Songs presents...

Music, apes, and bathroom noises.

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by Andrew Roller


Dana Taranova is my muse for the music playlist that follows.  Dana Taranova can be found on Google, on Google’s You Tube service as “Danatar”, and on Mark Suckerberg’s Instagram.  


“And the people bowed and prayed To the neon god they made.”

- Simon and Garfunkel.


Dear Dana,

Once, I mentioned to you that I had been in the United States Air Force.  You might wonder what my job was.  My job was to kill your parents.  

I realize I sound like someone who’s seen the film, “The Terminator” ( #1 ) too many times.  However, in the 1980’s, Russia encompassed more land than it does today.  My job was, if ordered, to shoot off nuclear missiles.  As the U.S. and U.S.S.R. ( Union of Soviet Socialist Republics ) were locked in a nuclear - armed “Cold War”, it is not difficult to surmise where my missiles were aimed.  ( My actual targets were classified. )

I could not do such a job today.  As you, and Mari Kruchkova, are my favorite girls in the world, I wouldn’t want to blow you up.  I much prefer you and Mari to my fellow Americans.  ( I wouldn’t mind sending a nuclear missile in the direction of Google, which owns You Tube. )

If you wish to view a horrific use of a nuclear missile, watch a “Nixon era” Planet of the Apes film.  ( Richard Millstone Nixon was the President of the United States when these particular “ape” films were made. )  The film I recommend is the second in the series, “Beneath the Planet of the Apes”.  Should you wish to not have a gigantic spoiler plopped in your lap, do yourself a favor.  Begin your film odyssey by watching the first “ape” film, “Planet of the Apes”.  A total of five “ape” films were made in the 1970’s.

I think you and I like different music.  Don’t worry!  Disinterest, on the part of my intended audience, doesn’t impede me.  I will say this:  I love your music when you are singing or dancing to it.  Otherwise, I’ll stick with rock music, such as Ozzie Osbourne’s song, “Thank God for the Bomb”.  Album:  The Ultimate Sin.

I actually know more about you than I do about any American girl.  However, I do know, from observation, a song that American girls love to dance to.  ( Or, anyway, I know this as of the year 1999, when I last saw American girls dancing live. )  ( Yes, life in “the land of the free” is very fun.  It’s so fun I wonder if I’d be happier six feet underground. )  

American girls love to dance to a gay song.  It is, “Y.M.C.A. ( Single Version )”, by the Village People.  Album:  20th Century masters, The Best Of Village People:  The Millennium Collection.  “Y.M.C.A.” stands for the Young Men’s Christian Association.  Traditionally, the Y.M.C.A. provided short term lodging for men, in an uplifting moral atmosphere.  Being a homosexual, or “gay”, at the Y.M.C.A. was not an approved mode of behavior.

Hence, like much in 1970’s America, “Y.M.C.A.” was a taboo-breaking song.  Check out these lyrics, which do not refer to a traditionally Christian view of male behavior:

“It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. ... You can hang out with all the boys!”

A reason girls like to dance to “Y.M.C.A.” is because of the letters:  Y M C A.  The girls like to form each letter, as they dance, with their arms.  ( Exactly how this is done is beyond me.  I’m too old to pay attention to what beautiful young girls are doing. )

In a video game, what I’ve written above, about the song “Y.M.C.A.”, is called “an Easter egg”.  It’s something you get, that you didn’t expect.  I haven’t included the song “Y.M.C.A.” in this music playlist.  However, you might enjoy listening to it, if you get tired of, say, listening to Ozzy Osbourne’s song, “Straight to Hell”.  Album:  Straight to Hell.

Now let’s proceed with:

Andrew Roller’s rock music playlist.  Every song is currently available, for free, in You Tube’s Music app.

1.  Your music choices influenced my pick for the first song in my playlist.  That song is,

Song:  The Safety Dance  ( Extended Dance Version ). Artist:  Men Without Hats. Album:  Rhythm of Youth.

I was in missile school when this song became popular in the U.S.  There was not much worthwhile music to listen to in that era, but I did like this song, and bought the album.

2.  Song:  867-5309 / Jenny. Artist:  Tommy Tutone. Album:  Radio Hits Of The 80s.

The internet became popular in America in the mid-1990’s.  Some in the public were shocked that one could write “blue” material on the internet.  As a figure in a cartoon said, “I used to have to walk through the snow, to write that on bathroom walls.”  Now, one could do so in comfort, in one’s pajamas, for all the world to read.

The song 867-5309 hearkens back to the days when a bathroom wall was a prime transmittal method for “blue” material.  In this instance, an earnest young man, viewing a phone number on a wall, feels he’s met the girl of his dreams.  He is eager to connect with her.  I divine a sly joke in the song.  In my opinion, the girl of this fellow’s dreams is probably a man, who likes to pose as a woman.  ( Not, as the T.V. show Seinfeld would hasten to add, that there’s anything wrong with that. )

867-5309 is one of the most fun songs in the American musical oeuvre.

3.  Song:  Paint It, Black. The Rolling Stones. Album:  the rolling stones singles collection * the london years.

Doubtless, there are many experts on American music.  Perhaps they’re sending you music playlists.  If not, you’re stuck with me, and my opinions.  

I’ll give you my erudite judgement on The Rolling Stones.  As best I can tell, they remain fine performers, on stage.  However, every song The Rolling Stones have put out since the 1960’s is crap.  

I’m not providing you with crap here.  “Paint It, Black” is from the days when The Rolling Stones were at the top of the music world, in terms of their songwriting ability.

4.  Song:  Tales Of Brave Ulysses. Artist:  Cream. Album:  Disraeli Gears.

I’ll confess:  this song came and went before my time.  I was alive.  However, my parents were doing their utmost to “channel, raise, and rear” me - beyond the bounds of contemporary American culture.  As far as my father is concerned, America must always remain, culturally, in the 1930’s.  ( Specifically, in The Great Depression.  No kidding. )  

As far as my mother is concerned, America is to always remain, culturally, in the 1940’s.  ( With World War Two rationing.  No kidding. )

This has sparked a maxim by me:

“The parent channels, raises, and rears. The child renders the verdict.”

You Tube might keep that in mind, as it seeks to “protect” its young creators, by fiercely censoring them.  

Which makes the next song in this playlist most apt:

5.  Song:  The Sound of Silence ( Electric Version ). Artist:  Simon and Garfunkel. Album:  Sounds Of Silence.

In my early years, I was stuck with listening to church music.  ( My father is a pastor.  Should you ever be in need of a two hour sermon, call him.  After two hours, he’ll ask:  “And how are you doing?” )  ( Now you know why, if left unleashed, I can probably fill up your You Tube channel with comments. )

When I was in the sixth grade, my teacher brought a record album to school.  To my delight, it was not a record album consisting of church music.  ( My father didn’t actually play record albums in those days, of any sort.  However, we were, as a family, in church on a frequent basis.  That’s why I’m so holy today. )

My teacher’s record album consisted of music by Simon and Garfunkel.  Perhaps the album was the very one I’ve mentioned above.  Simon and Garfunkel was a highly successful musical duo in the 1960’s.  Their fame continued into the early 1970’s.

6.  Song:  Pictures of Matchstick Men ( Mono Version ).   Artist:  Status Quo. Album:  Picturesque Matchstickable Messages From The Status Quo.

I can hear it now:  I love this guy.  He sends me music that’s over half a century old, and expects me to listen to it.  

My response:  In America, the 1960’s was about the best decade ever.  Consider:  a U.S. president was assassinated.  His assassin was assassinated.  A prominent U.S. presidential candidate was assassinated.  A civil rights leader was assassinated.  America put its all into the Vietnam War, only to realize that victory was likely impossible.  America put a man on the moon.  Who can top that?  

As one weighs history, a decade isn’t confined to a set number of years.  In America, the 1960’s began in 1963, with the assassination of U.S. President John F. Kennedy.  The 1960’s ended in 1974, with the resignation of U.S. President Richard M. Nixon.  From such a perspective, the “1960’s” includes the U.S. “Watergate” scandal, and an Arab oil embargo.  The oil embargo caused America, “the land of plenty”, to ( literally ) run out of gasoline.

Not all my time in church buildings was spent in religious services.  I have memories of children ( mostly girls, as I recall ) banging out the song, “Pictures of Matchstick Men” on a piano.  The entire song wasn’t played, as these girls were likely eight-years-old.  Instead, the opening notes to “Matchstick Men” were favored.  Another favorite song, or part thereof, was the theme song of the T.V. show, “Batman”.

What do I like best about the song, “Pictures of Matchstick Men”?  The singers’ British voices.  They remind me of the accents of the men who composed the band, and children’s television series, “The Monkees”.  The Monkees are an American band.  Nonetheless, I find a similarity in their voices to that of British singers.  ( Yes, senility looms, in my life.  Pretty soon, I’ll think a young You Tube star can be my girlfriend. )

7.  Song:  Incense And Peppermints. Artist:  Strawberry Alarm Clock. Album:  The Strawberry Alarm Clock.

Whoa!  Look at the cover on this record album.  Dana, these guys are cool.  No, I’m not joking.  First, they have long hair.  This is a total outrage to “the older generation”, in 1960’s America.  Second, these guys are barefoot.  This is a total outrage to “the older generation”, in 1960’s America.  Third, these guys are wearing Bell Bottom trousers.  This is a total outrage to “the older generation”, in 1960’s America.  ( Hi, dad! )

I was too young to get away with long hair, bare feet, and Bell Bottoms.  ( For which I am eternally grateful, as I am for a quarter century of non-stop religious services. )

Notice the big wicker chair, on the album’s cover.  Such a chair was hugely popular, in the early 1970’s.  So, once again, Strawberry Alarm Clock is the essence of cool, since they had their big wicker chair in 1967.

8.  Song:  Hurdy Gurdy Man. Artist:  Donovan. Album:  the hurdy gurdy man.
I love the full, rich sound of this song, and the cacophony of background noises.

9.  Song:  Spirit In The Sky. Artist:  Norman Greenbaum. Album:  spirit in the sky.

To quote U.S. President Bill Clinton, “I feel your pain”.  You don’t want to hear any more songs from the 1960’s.  Okay, okay.  Your wish is my command.  Hence, “Spirit In The Sky” is from “late 1969”, according to Google.  I probably didn’t hear it until 1970.  Good enough?

By the early 1970’s, America’s hippie culture was wearing thin, among some young people.  They wanted more than the proverbial “sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll” that hippiedom offered.  ( Some folks are never satisfied. )

A number of hippie dissidents became “Jesus freaks”.  Still sure of their moral superiority, as they had been when hippies, they now claimed to have God on their side.  The movie “Godspell” catered to the “Jesus freak” culture.  

I recommend listening to the album Godspell.  Various versions exist on You Tube.  If you see hippies dancing atop a roof, you’ve found the right version.  The person who posted this version to You Tube is apparently “liddlmausi”.  

I’m sure he, or she, obtained copyright permission to post Godspell.  Just like I’m sure I’m Tom Cruise.  

That’s meant as a criticism of You Tube, not the person who posted Godspell.  You Tube never saw a copyright violation it disapproved of, but it is always finding an original video, by a young creator, that must be destroyed.  

Google, You Tube’s owner, once sought to obtain all the world’s content.  It is now a major destroyer of content.  

10.  Song:  While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Artist:  Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, Steve Winwood, Dhani Harrison, & Prince. Album:  Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame + Museum.

The word “museum”, in this album’s title, greatly annoys me.  It’s as if these idiots think the 1960’s are over.  Does my rock music playlist sound like the 60’s are dead?  

“While My Guitar Gently Weeps” was originally a Beatles song ( from the year 1968 ).  Rather than belabor you with that version, I’ve belabored you with this one.  It’s at least a decade or two younger than the other version.  Yes, a number of the singers in this version are now dead.

11.  Song:  Panic Switch. Artist:  Silversun Pickups. Album:  The Singles Collection.

Wow!  This song is from 2009.  Dana, you were alive when this song came out!  See?  I can be a modern guy, sometimes.  

I heard “Panic Switch” while I was working out at the gym.  As my gym’s music was generally awful, this song was a breath of fresh air.  ( Okay, I was on the toilet when I first heard “Panic Switch”, but I needed some fresh air in the bathroom. )

When I worked out in a gym, in the 1960’s - I mean, recently - I stayed all night.  In the morning, I hadn’t eaten in many hours.  I was not in great need of a bathroom.

That wasn’t the case for others.  I called those folks “the normal people”, since they worked out at a respectable hour.  ( Five o’clock in the morning, for a gym. )

The normal people charged into the gym, and began exercising.  Soon, they needed to use the bathroom.  All of them needed to use the bathroom, and all at once.  It was their first major bathroom visit since the night before.

My God!  I don’t know what the ladies’ lavatory was like, but the men’s room was a factory of odious smells and noises.  The sounds were so spectacularly awful, that I fantasized about recording them.  

I’ve always wanted to be someone who speaks on the radio, as a “call-in” show host.  I’d wait for, say, someone to phone in, and claim that You Tube’s censorship is a good thing.  Then, bam!  I’d play those bathroom noises.  So long, buddy.  Call again with your stupid opinion.  I’ll have more noises ready for you.  

On such an edified note, my rock music playlist concludes.

P.S.  I have a photo of you, from Google.  In it, you’re wearing a string headband.  A diamond-shaped pendant hangs over your forehead.  Though you’re not wearing flowers, you resemble, to me, a 1960’s “flower child”.  I love that photo.  

( Yes, my collection of photos of you begins with my favorite shots from your video, “Dana Taranova fun beach”.  Like the 1960’s, “Dana Taranova fun beach” will never die. )


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  SS, Super Songs, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 5.

Arcana:  This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 5, version 3.0

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Date:  Circa November 23, 2019.
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CS 3

Confessions of a Stud

Winter’s Eve

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This is a missive that I belabored somebody with.  I have altered the recipient’s name, to protect the guilty ( me ).  I don’t know how to post my photo on WordPress.  If you want to see me, just check the F.B.I.’s “Most Wanted” list.  I’m told that if I’m not there yet, I will surely be there soon.


Dear Avon,

I figured that I owed you at least one photo of myself.  The trouble was, I didn’t know how to use my iPhone’s camera.  I just taught myself how to use the camera today.

I was worried.  Since I say things like, “some decades ago,” I feared you’d think I was a creaky old man.  I’m not, yet. 

I have, however, been alive a long time.  Those of us who are “creatures of the night” tend to be that way.  You should have seen me, when I woke up in this century.  I was moldy.  Somehow, spiders had made cobwebs inside my coffin.  Then, being as I was asleep in my coffin, some idiot went and buried me.  Digging my way up through six feet of earth was no easy job.  Then I had to go bite some folks, to get my strength back.  After that, I needed directions to my castle.  The person who gave me directions was surprised when I turned into a bat.  What did she expect, that I’d walk all the way to my castle?

You’ll be pleased to know that all is well here, at my castle.  At least, it is as it was, in 1969, when I decided to take a nap.

I have lots of ghouls to feed from, in my castle, when I get hungry.  

Frankenstein is up and walking about.  He seems to resent the fact that I’ve brought him to life.  I tell him,

“Frank.  Appreciate what you’ve got.  If you only knew how many body parts I had to sew together, to make you!”  He says he wants his own body parts, not those of other people.  The trouble was, some of him had rotted away.  Frank says I forgot parts of him.  I tell him to make do with what he has.

Mr. Skeleton is, as usual, complaining that he is naked.  I tell him,

“You’re a skeleton.  You’re not supposed to have any flesh.”  He’s another ingrate.

Mr. Ghost is unhappy.  He loves Halloween.  Now, however, Christmas is coming.  Everything in the nearby town is gaily alight at night.  People are too happy to be scared by something that looks like a bedsheet.  Mr. Ghost moans in my cellar, waiting for fall to return.  ( He hates summer. )

Sometimes, I leave my castle.  ( Not in an unwanted hearse. )  I mingle with my future victims, otherwise known as “the public”.  I pretend I’m not a vampire, but an ordinary mortal.  A guy who likes hamburgers, instead of blood.  ( I just can’t get into salads, no matter how hard I try. )

In conversation with my ( future ) victims, people sometimes ask,

“Is there a Mrs. Vampire?”  They don’t put it that way, of course.  They think I’m a schmuck like them.

There is no Mrs. Vampire.  I am waiting to meet a very, very beautiful woman.  Preferably, someone with long, dark tresses.  For whatever reason, I’m partial to females in pink bunny pajamas.  If you know anyone like that, please pass along their vitals to me.  ( Sorry.  That’s vampire talk.  I mean, curriculum vitae. )

Count on me to send you a new e-mail in the next century, if not sooner.


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  CS, Confessions of a Stud, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is CS, Confessions of a Stud, issue number 3.

Arcana:  This is CS, Confessions of a Stud, issue number 3, version 2.0

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Date:  Circa November 23, 2019.
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CS 2

Confessions of a Stud

Bewitched by Danatar!

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by Andrew Roller


Like Hitler’s grip on a conquered Europe, You Tube is subjecting its young creators to ever more censorship.  

That gives this ephemeral series, Confessions of a Stud, a new purpose.  It may be here that I find myself praising the girls I like watching on You Tube.  Superfluous comments by me, meant for You Tube, now become the locus of a resistance.  This is how revolutions are born.

Below are several posts meant for the You Tube channel, “Danatar”.  ( A channel owned by Dana Taranova. )  I managed to place one post on Dana’s channel.  I was not successful in posting the others.  My posts are presented here in reverse order.  That is, the last written post is the first you will read.  I have rewritten some posts for clarity.

Dana’s videos are written in Cyrillic script.  I have rendered them in english typography here.

Subject:  Danatar video title:  16HOR6pR 2019 r.  

My Description:  This is a pajama try on haul.

Dear Dana, 

You Tube has become horribly frustrating!  Several minutes after your video ended, I tried posting another comment.  I was unsuccessful in accomplishing this. 

Thank you for a truly fabulous video.  I love it when you’re “crazy Danatar”.  You are endlessly watchable.  I love your attitude, and your dancing!  ( You’re beautiful, too. )

( I think jordi escarp might have a crush on you. )

( Then again, so do I.)


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Subject:  Danatar video title:  16HOR6pR 2019 r.  

My Description:  This is a pajama try on haul.

Kenneth Davenport comments, “I was not ready for that to be over.”  I agree.  I was trying to:

1.  Watch Dana.

2.  “Chat” with my keyboard.

3.  Not make an ass of myself, as I chatted.

I could have watched Dana dance much, much longer.  Who knew she could be so delightful in a pair of pajamas?  Each pair of pajamas that Dana tries on is, essentially, a coverall.  On the other hand, those coverall pajamas are very cute, like Dana!  She makes them come alive with her wonderful dancing.


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Subject:  Danatar video title:  16HOR6pR 2019 r.  

My Description:  This is a pajama try on haul.

Additional information:  I wrote this as I awaited the premiere of Dana’s video, 16HOR6pR 2019 r.  

In this post, I am commenting on another premiere that Dana held.  It was for her video titled, 3OOeKTNBHaR HeCTaHAapTHaR TpeHNpOBKa.  PeanbHO KpyTaR TpeHNpOBKa.  [ If you doubt my love for Dana, try typing all those Cyrillic letters! ]

In “3OOeKTNBHaR HeCTaHAapTHaR TpeHNpOBKa.  PeanbHO KpyTaR TpeHNpOBKa.”, Dana performs nontraditional exercises, at a gym.  This includes walking ever higher up the side of a wall.

Dear Dana,

Wow!  You look very beautiful, in this premiere photo!  

Guess what?  I haven’t slept since your last premiere.  You put out movies faster than Hollywood!  

I haven’t been to a movie theatre, to watch a Hollywood movie, since before you were born.  However, I eagerly watch your You Tube videos!

Your premiere, yesterday, was my first.  I did not realize how exciting it would be.  This might surprise you:  I enjoyed having to wait.  It was fun listening to the music play, as I waited for your film to begin.  It was like being in a real movie theatre!  

The numerical countdown to your film surprised me.  That made your premiere even more wonderful!  I have been thinking about this experience all night, all day, and now ( in San Diego, near the real Hollywood ), in the night again!

I think that, if it is possible, you should release all your new videos with a premiere presentation.  

I’ve watched a lot of your workout videos.  You may wonder about my current workout regime.  I will tell you about it.

1.  I have a computer keyboard.

2.  At one end of my keyboard, there is a letter: “a”.

3.  At the other end of my keyboard, there is a letter:  “l”.

With strenuous effort, I reach all the way from the “a”, to the “l”.  Amazing, huh?  Thankfully, I have two hands to do this with.

Currently, I don’t have a car.  This can be a problem, when one owns a Rolls Royce.  People claim that a Rolls Royce is reliable.  Not when you’re a Workout God, of a computer keyboard, like me.  Let’s just say I have a lot of admirers.  I throw parties for them, to keep them happy.   This puts wear and tear on my Rolls Royce.  So, for a few years now, my Rolls Royce has been getting repaired.

Then again, too much partying can addle one’s mind.  Perhaps I only thought I owned a Rolls Royce.  But I am a Workout God of my computer keyboard.

I had to buy groceries today.  I don’t use a computer to do this.  I ( shudder! ) leave my room.  Yes, it’s painful.  Sometimes, however, one must brave San Diego’s harsh climate.

I was, in fact, disturbed by a cold wind today.  It is now cold at night, too.  Right now, I’m having to wear a pair of socks.  Sadly, that brings closer my date with doing my laundry.  

I try to limit washing my clothes to once a year.  Did you know a guy can wear the same underpants for a month?  A “He-Man” like me can, anyway.  

To make a long story longer, I made about ten trips to the grocery today.  I did this on foot.  I felt like a human donkey.  The whole job took about six hours.  Then, since it was my first time in a month that I’d left my room, I had to tramp to the bank, the post office, the telephone store, and other places.  I hate doing this sort of thing, but I toughed it out.  For once, I did not bring my three favorite stuffed animals with me.  They were missing me by the time I got back to my room.

I saw a bum today.  He looked happy, if very dirty.  He probably wears his underpants even longer than I do.  I thought to myself, 

“Why don’t I be a bum?  Then, I wouldn’t have to worry about leaving my room.  That’s because I wouldn’t have a room!  ( Yes, I have a high I.Q. )  

Guess what thought popped into my mind?

“Andrew, you can’t be a bum.  Dana Taranova wouldn’t approve.”

Okay, I won’t be a bum.

I loved your video where you walk high up onto a wall.  Have you ever seen the Tom Cruise movie, “Interview with the Vampire?”  A vampire walks high up onto a wall in that film.  If you haven’t seen the movie, a surprise awaits you.  I’ll say no more, except this:  you’re awfully talented, for an ordinary mortal.  Perhaps you’re more than you appear...

I will watch your new video closely, to see if I detect further hidden powers you have.

Mortal, or more than that, you remain the most fabulous girl in the galaxy!


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In my post, you read the following sentence:  “I think that, if it is possible, you should release all your new videos with a premiere presentation.”

“If possible” refers to this:  You Tube destroyed one of Dana’s videos, and declared that she’d violated You Tube’s “community standards”.  You Tube may have done that because Dana held a live chat premiere.  Or, You Tube may have attacked Dana because she allowed viewers to post public comments about her video.  In the video, Dana appears as a Gollum-like creature.  

As usual I, as a fan, never received any word on why You Tube destroyed Dana’s video.  I will say this:  there was no copyright violation in Dana’s performance.  She became a Gollum-like creature, not Gollum.  

You Tube now admits that their “community standards”, which are part of their “Terms of Service”, did not advise users correctly.  I, like other users, received an e-mail from You Tube, on November 8, 2019.  This e-mail is titled:

———-

“Changes to You Tube’s Terms of Service”

It reads:

“We are updating our Terms of Service (“Terms”) to improve readability and transparency. ...

“We’ve provided a summary of key changes but here’s what you can expect: ...

“Better alignment between our Terms and how You Tube works today.”

———-

The key phrase is:  “how You Tube works today.”  In other words, You Tube’s staff was punishing users, when their own “Terms of Service” were out of date.  

You Tube’s destruction of Dana’s video is “how You Tube works today.”  I’ve read, and written about, You Tube’s “community standards”.  Nowhere, there, does it forbid a young creator from holding a live chat premiere.  Nor is a young creator prohibited from receiving publicly posted comments, about her videos.  

You Tube is, in the main, a collection of unlawfully pirated copyrighted materials.  It is a resurrected Napster.  This is my best assessment of You Tube.  

Dana Taranova ( Danatar) creates and posts her own videos.  Since she isn’t a pirate “creator”, you’d think You Tube would value her, not abuse her.

You Tube is owned by Google.  


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  CS, Confessions of a Stud.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is CS, Confessions of a Stud, issue number 2.

Arcana:  This is CS, Confessions of a Stud, issue number 2, version 3.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa November 17, 2019.
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ET 11     

Editorial Thunder presents...

American Social Media:  Sell now!

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by Andrew Roller


You probably know Jim Cramer.  He presides on the American cable channel, CNBC.  ( A news channel, about the stock market. )

Recently, on CNBC, Kramer said this:

“I want people to own Facebook.”  I nearly pooped in my pants.  Facebook?  Facebook?  Jim’s smarter than I, but I’ll give you my advice anyway.  

My advice is, sell Facebook.  Now.  You should probably do the same with Facebook’s subsidiary, Instagram.  You’ll eventually want to sell You Tube as well.  

( To save your eyesight, I break You Tube into two words.  ICAAN ( the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers ) is the reason You Tube is one word.  Prior to the dot com era, there was not a convention to create a company name that consisted of two words squashed together.  That is, absent a merger of two preexisting companies. )

This article was not, in fact, inspired by Kramer’s stupidity.  I read an article elsewhere, with which I disagree.

The website renegade7x.com features an article titled:

“Why is Instagram hiding likes a good thing?”

Like You Tube, Instagram is changing its rules.  The changes are, apparently, similar to what You Tube is doing.  More prudery is needed!  For safety!  Or, in 1990’s parlance,

“We must do this, to protect the children.”

Never mind abortion.  Never mind that nuclear weapons are primed to launch on a hair trigger.

renegade7x likes Instagram’s changes.  She says:

“Instagram culture is out of control.  ...We do it for the likes and that shit is messed up.  ...The constant need to be liked is incredibly harmful.”

God, yes!  Humans survived ancient climate change, predators, starvation, disease, and war.  But likes on Instagram?  Buy a gravestone for your kid.  She’ll probably need it this month.

I’ll let you read renegade7x’s article for her full discussion.  As I mentioned, I disagree with renegade7x.  Here’s why:

I follow young people on You Tube.  I don’t see the problems renegade7x speaks of.  The girls I follow post videos when they want to.  I don’t see them being under any pressure.  “My” girls post quite frequently.  It is difficult for me to keep up with them!  I always download and like their videos.  I also “screen record” their videos, in case You Tube deletes them, for God knows what reason.

On You Tube, “thumbs up” is meaningless.  The number of “thumbs up” always vastly exceeds the number of “thumbs down”.  A handful of malcontents always stomp through and click “thumbs down”.  Post a video, and someone will click “thumbs down”.  Everyone else clicks “thumbs up”.

Lately, I’ve been striving to comment on each new video posted by the girls I follow.  Others comment as well.  Every comment I’ve ever read is positive, and complimentary.

The girls I follow love their comments.  They also love dispensing “thumbs up”, and hearts, to the deserving.  That is far better than what girls used to do:  sit for hours in front of a T.V.  It also beats gabbing mindlessly on a telephone, for hours on end.

On You Tube, “views” means the number of times a video has been viewed.  It is a measure of how relevant a video is, to fans of a channel.  If you’re a girl, put on a bikini.  You’ll get lots of views.  Put on farmer’s overalls, you’ll get less views.  Don’t like that?  Complain to God.  He’s the one, we are told by religion, who created two sexes.  ( Even a flower, which is supposedly “asexual”, contains dual sexual parts. )

Girls don’t just post bikini videos.  They also post gym workout videos, ballet practice videos, dance videos, unboxing gift videos, etc.  The girls I watch post what they feel like.  

Girls with “competing” channels aren’t a problem for “my” girls.  So-called “competing” girls on You Tube collaborate with each other.

Let’s consider, on You Tube, a channel’s total number of subscribers.  This is a function of how long a channel has been on You Tube.  Nashamasha, of the You Tube channel HAWA MAWA, is now 11-years-old.  She’s been on You Tube since she was about six.  Guess what?  Nashamasha has nearly a million subscribers.  Count her second channel, HAWA MAWA Bnor, and she has over a million subscribers.  Girls who’ve joined You Tube more recently have less subscribers.  Longevity on You Tube equals subscribers.  It’s as simple as that.  Every channel on You Tube has quality content.

On You Tube, the only problem the girls I follow have is You Tube’s staff.  You Tube’s staff nannies their members to an extreme degree.  

In my experience, nobody likes You Tube’s nannying.  Channel owners don’t like it, nor do fans.

Would you like to know why You Tube and Instagram are changing their rules?  One word:  Disney.

The Disney company has been shockingly tardy in getting a web site going.  However, “Disney+ is now live!” my mailbox informs me.

I’m old enough to recall the days of Blockbuster-type video stores.  Drive by one, and you were impressed by the big posters for big budget Hollywood movies.  The same was true if you walked into one of those stores.

Here’s the dirty secret of those days.  Nobody rented the big budget Hollywood movies.

What actually happened?  Let’s take that august pair in American politics, to which every politician ( and now You Tube, and Instagram ) bow.

Yep.  That paragon of virtue: mom and dad.

What did mom and dad rent at Blockbuster?  They rented a cartoon for their children.  They rented a porn film for themselves.

Watch this video on You Tube:  “Most Popular Websites 1996 - 2019”.  It was posted by the You Tube channel, “Data is Beautiful”.

The video covers the lives, and deaths, of the top ten internet sites over time.  Which sites are in the top ten varies.

Recently, two new websites joined the top ten:  Pornhub.com, and XVideos.com.

My prediction?  Those websites won’t be leaving the top ten anytime soon.

Can you guess which other website will be in the top ten?  www.disneyplus.com.

Blockbuster may be dead, but human nature isn’t.

I have read that parents are using You Tube to babysit their children.  I’ve seen some of the children’s offerings on You Tube.  Not being the target audience, I can’t judge the content precisely.  It did, however, strike me as underwhelming.

Disney isn’t.  I’ve spent many hours watching the Disney channel at the gym.  It’s a fun channel.  It’s way better than the oddball assemblage of “kids” content on You Tube.

According to “Most Popular Websites 1996 - 2019”, You Tube’s total views are now falling.  Facebook is collapsing.  ( Good riddance. )  

Facebook owns Instagram.  Total views on that web site are still rising.  Mark Suckerberg owns both Facebook and Instagram.  Since Suckerberg blew it with Facebook, he’ll likely blow it with Instagram too.  ( I hope “my” girls will pardon me saying this, since they post content on Instagram:  Again, good riddance. )

( Suckerberg will live to rue the day he blew $100,000,000 on the Newark school system, to impress Oprah. )  ( Newark totally misspent the money, according to Fox news. )

Angering its customers won’t save Instagram.  Nor will it save You Tube.  I was kicked out of America Online ( AOL ).  Where is AOL today?  According to Google, America Online is dead.

I’m still here.  I hope to be here when You Tube and Instagram have joined America Online in the grave.

Admittedly, You Tube will survive longer than Instagram.  Google owns You Tube.  Google is free, hugely popular, and it works extremely well.  I doubt that it’s possible for Google to keep people from surfing to it.  Users of Google find themselves referred to You Tube.

I pay nearly $200.00 per year to be a member of You Tube.  I was also a member of Facebook.  Facebook never figured out how to even ask me for money.  Then it kicked me out.  When I try to use Facebook as an outsider, I can see very little.  I can’t see anything on Instagram without signing up.  By contrast, You Tube is available, in full and for free, in any web browser.  I doubt it’s possible to be banned from visiting You Tube with your browser.

When I was on Facebook, I tried to “friend” Dana Taranova.  ( I follow her on You Tube. )  Facebook had no idea who I was asking about, even though Dana Taranova fan pages are on Facebook.  Dana is probably there too.  

On Facebook, I was only offered “friends” ( strangers, actually ) who were at least 18-years-old.  On You Tube, I can subscribe to any channel I want.  The age of the channel owner is irrelevant.  ( Dana Taranova is under 18-years-old. )  You Tube regularly invites me to watch videos of girls who are under 18.  Did Facebook do that?  Nope.

Being kicked out of Facebook, I’m loath to sign up for Suckerberg’s Instagram.  Also, as I’ve reported elsewhere, Facebook lies.  ( So does You Tube, as I’ve also reported. )  Facebook never gave me any meaningful reason for why I got kicked out.  One thing’s for sure:  I didn’t get kicked out because of someone who was under 18-years-old.  The only “friends” ( strangers ) I met on You Tube were stupid fucking adults, like me.  I don’t want more of me.  I have quite enough of me, thank you.

Robert L. Johnson founded BET, the Black Entertainment Television channel.  ( On cable T.V. )  Some years ago, Johnson was asked about companies like You Tube, Instagram, and Facebook.  His answer was blunt:

“If your business model depends on free content, by users, don’t screw it up.”

To the dismay of AOL, it found that nobody actually needed their “walled garden”.  The internet is a big place.  Nobody actually needs You Tube, Instagram, or Facebook, either.  Options loom.

Now is the time for a new You Tube-like channel to arise, overseas.  Be nice to your channel owners, and fans, and you will win, where prudish American companies failed.

Or, to paraphrase Robert Johnson:

“If you’re handed a chance to eat You Tube’s lunch, don’t screw it up.”


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 11.

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 11, version 3.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa November 17, 2019.
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ET 13     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Nashamasha Hits One Million!

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by Andrew Roller


You Tube has banned all comments to channels owned by young creators.  This is an outrage.  It is also frustrating, as some videos ask for comments.  That is, under “Comments”, the You Tube app says, “Add a public comment...”  So, a person like me posts a comment.  

The You Tube app then acts as if it has accepted my comment.  It displays, 

“Comment added.”  However, when I go back a few minutes later, my comment has not, in fact, been posted.

This is yet another example of You Tube, and other such “services”, like Facebook, being liars.  I agree with the Democratic Party presidential candidate, Elizabeth Warren.  Big Tech needs to be broken up.  Instagram was probably a fun website, at one time.  Then Facebook’s Mark Suckerberg bought it.  Now, Suckerberg is torturing his users, by removing the features ( such as “likes” ), that they enjoy.

No company like Facebook should ever again be able to buy, and ruin, a potential competitor like Instagram.  America needs less big tech, and more competition.

Today, Internet star Nashamasha reached one million subscribers.  She reached this figure on her You Tube channel, HAWA MAWA. 

On You Tube, Nashamasha owns these You Tube channels: 

1.  HAWA MAWA

2.  HAWA MAWA Bnor.

The channel names are in Cyrillic script.  I’ve rendered them in english typography here.

Nashamasha can also be found on Instagram.  ( For which Mark Suckerberg, like You Tube, should be eternally grateful.  Remember, Suckerberg, and You Tube:  You rely solely on content created by your users! )

I will wish Nashamasha here what I could not wish her on You Tube.  You Tube would have been the best venue for me to do this.

Dear Nashamasha, 

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S on reaching one million subscribers!

You are fabulous!

Congratulations on your eleventh birthday, as well!  In one more century, you’ll be my age.  Don’t worry, I’ll still be around then.  Have you ever dated a vampire?


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 13.

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 13, version 4.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa November 16, 2019.
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ET 12     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Be Hip!

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by Andrew Roller


If you wanted to be hip in the 1960’s, you listened to rock ‘n roll.  You grew your hair long.  Needlessly, you probably smoked dope ( or worse ).  You believed in free love, and youth liberation.

Not any more.  Today, one must adhere to the gospel of the nuclear family.  There’s dad, mom, and 2.5 kids.  ( Who gets stuck being the .5 is left unclear.  For the sake of our economy, however, we mustn’t just replace our numbers.  Growth is essential. )

Yes, “mom” can have “three legs”.  Yes, “dad” can have “two legs”.

Purveying the gospel of the nuclear family, you must feel, if not precisely express, this phrase:

“We must do this, to protect the children.”

It really doesn’t matter what needs to be done.  Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives.  Recently, Pelosi said that Donald Trump must be subjected to an impeachment inquiry.  Why?  “...for the children”.  

You must not be a “climate denier”.  ( Never mind that we’re at the end of an interglacial period.  Earth, unaffected by humans, has been getting progressively colder.  It only emerges from repeated ice ages for brief 10,000 year periods. )

You must “be okay with”, if not idolize, a disparate number of groups.

Except one.  Life wouldn’t be fun if there wasn’t a societal villain, right?

No, you can’t hate black people.  That was 1950’s America.  ( Note:  the word “black, as in “black people”, came into use in about 1970. )

No, you can’t hate homosexuals.  ( Oops!  Was I required to say, “gay”? )

You can’t hate the Irish, Indians ( Oops! ), Suffragettes, etc.  But:

You must hate, and absolutely loathe, so-called “pedophiles”.

Got it?  ( If you don’t, you’re in trouble. )

You must never, ever, be suspected of being a pedophile.  Your number one duty in life is to be “normal”.  ( However “normal” is currently defined. )

You can’t just hate pedophiles.  You must engage in “virtue signaling”.  You must let everyone know that you hate pedophiles.  Need help?  Practice saying the following:

1.  They’re perverts.

2.  They’re sick.

3.  He’s probably a child molester.

If you say these things, then you are hip.  You get a gold star.  You can now be invited to cocktail parties, where, cued correctly, you can say, 

1.  They’re perverts.

2.  They’re sick.

3.  He’s probably a child molester.

But wait!  According to history, there will be changes.  Remember, you can’t disparage blacks ( etc. ) any more.  Be alert to new mandates from whoever creates and enforces them.  You’ll then be obliged to mouth the ( new ) conventional “wisdom”.

Meanwhile, make sure you’re part of a nuclear family.  ( Before you get roasted by some country’s nuclear weapon. )

Do you have a ( socially appropriate ) spouse?  No?  If you’re a guy, you’d better get one.  You don’t want anyone to think you’re a child molester!  In fact, until you do have a ( socially appropriate ) spouse, you’d better pretend you don’t know kids exist.

If you’re a lady, and unmarried, I guess you’re okay.  Being unmarried, at a certain age, simply means you’re a feminist.  Or a lesbian.  That’s hip.

Next:  you’ll need 2.5 children.  Guys, you might not have known kids existed before, but you will now!  Also, you’ll need to be a feminized man.  That means you get to change your daughter’s diapers.  Amazing, isn’t it?  You never knew there was a girl ( under age 18 ) living next door to you.  Yet now you’re obliged to behold and fondle a nude female baby, changing her diapers.  Hey, you’re hip, so it’s okay.

Today, hipness is more essential than ever.  Make sure your actions conform to your hipness.  Otherwise, as is said, “we have a place for you, here.”  ( With Bubba, behind bars. )


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 12.

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 12, version 1.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa November 14, 2019.
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SS 4

Super Songs presents...

Rock songs, and Dana Taranova!

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by Andrew Roller


This is a newly edited version of one of my previous posts.  That post was solely about songs that I like.  This post is graced by lovely Dana Taranova, of the You Tube channel, “Danatar”.  Dana can easily be found on Google.  There, you’ll find enchanting photos of her, plus other internet locales where she may be found ( such as Instagram ).

Dear Dana, 

Call me an addict.  I love sending you comments!  Thanks for your latest video, “Bonocbl TaHeu. (etc).”  ( I hate writing (etc.), but it is difficult for me to type so many Cyrillic letters, on an english language keyboard.  I am, however, starting to learn certain Cyrillic words.  That makes my task easier. )

( Strangely, no school I attended offered classes on how to speak Russian.  Classes were offered on French, Spanish, Japanese, ancient Greek, Latin, etc.  But not Russian.  It turns out that Russian is the language I needed to learn! )

If you like, here’s another Andrew Roller rock music playlist.  

Surprise:  I like songs by girl singers best.  Have you considered  becoming a singer?  I’d love to see you as a punk rocker.  ( Skip the heavy eye makeup, tattoos, piercings, and dyed hair.  You are perfect, just as you are. )


“Hey, ho, let’s go!”

- The Ramones


“Are you a rocker?” someone once asked me.  I don’t recall my response to that person.  I’m not sure I had one.  To another person, I once said, 

“I like pop [music].”

That’s how awful music was, circa 1980.  Rock had been annihilated by disco.  What followed, in the 1980’s, didn’t appeal to me.  The “hit” band, Duran Duran, comes to mind.  I regard them as the most insipid band in music history.  However, in their time, their music played ceaselessly on MTV (Music Television).  Perhaps that’s why, today, MTV is a shadow of its former self, and doesn’t play music videos on its main channel.

I am now a rocker.  To prove it, I’m offering some songs.  All are available, for free, in You Tube’s music app.  This list doesn’t include rock’s best known ballads.  I’ve heard those too many times.  If you don’t know much about past music, and are bored with what you’re getting now, try these songs.  

Note:  A particular song might start in a “ho hum” fashion.  This is true of “Sick As Your Secrets”, by Veruca Salt.  Don’t turn your headphones up too loud.  Your ears will soon be getting blasted by a transcendent rush of voices and guitars.

1.  Rejoice in the Sun, by Peter Schickele.  This is the theme song for the 1972 science fiction film, Silent Running.  In this future, more than comments have been banned from You Tube.  This ( english speaking ) society has banned nature itself.  Bruce Dern watches over earth’s last forests, now consigned to ships in outer space.

2.  White Rabbit, by Emiliana Torrini.  This is a song from the 2011 movie Sucker Punch.  I love the cover of this album.  Emiliana’s version of White Rabbit is a very creative orchestral version of the classic song.

3.  Cherry Bomb, by Wannabeastar.  I’d call this the ultimate rock version of The Runaway’s most famous ballad.  Prepare to be run over by blaring guitars and vocals.

4.  Cannonball, by The Breeders.  If you love girl rockers, this is your song.  (And mine.)

5.  Seether, by Veruca Salt.  In the 1990’s, Veruca and other rockers consigned 1980’s music to the grave.  Seether is Veruca’s top song.  These are girls armed with amped-up guitars.  I love all the buzzy feedback.

6.  I Think I’m Paranoid, by Garbage.  At one time, older folks called rock “garbage”.  This “sonically perfect” band (according to a rock critic) capitalizes on that insult.  

7.  In the Year 2525 (Exordium & Terminus), by Zager and Evans.  Perhaps this still happens, in America:  in elementary school, a magazine is distributed to the pupils.  It is called, “The Weekly Reader.”  Students can order Scholastic Books from The Weekly Reader.  

The Weekly Reader was distributed to me.

Sometimes, records were offered.  I became excited about buying an album by The Byrds.  At home, my mother told me to report to my father with my request.  (Uh oh).

I can still recall my father, reposing in his study.  I tremulously presented him with my request.  His scowling answer came in a near rage that threatened physical punishment.

“They have long hair,” he said of The Byrds.  I managed to escape, alive, from my father’s study.  

There was little to no modern music in my life back then.  I recall seeing a T.V. ad, many times, advertising the song, “In the Year 2525”.  I had no hope of hearing more of this song than the short bit the ad played.

Now, I can listen to this song as much as I want.  The song might strike you as old-fashioned.  However, it’s from “my” era, that I had little chance to participate in.

8.  Go Go’s - Our Lips are Sealed - Live in Central Park - May 15, 2001.  jonnyghoul is apparently the person who posted this song/video on You Tube.

The Go Go’s is a 1980’s band.  (One of the decent ones of the decade.)  Don’t worry, your friend won’t rat you out, according to this song.  After all, “Our Lips are Sealed.”  

(For decades, I thought that lyric was, “All except for you.”  I suppose, as with the theme song for the T.V. show “All in the Family,” the Go Go’s made an effort to sing the lyric more explicitly in this live version.)

9.  Glycerine (Live) (feat. Gwen Stefani), by Bush.  Recently, I read that 1990’s music critics reviled Bush, when the band first appeared.  That was in 1992.  The bozo critics wanted “modern rock” (late 1980’s music) to continue forever.

Thank God for Bush!  MTV refused to play this band, except late on Sunday nights, in a program called 120 Minutes.  The same fate befell Nirvana, and Smashing Pumpkins.  These bands soon slayed 1980’s music.  I did feel very special watching 120 Minutes, once a week, and ignoring MTV all the other hours that it was on.  I had become a rocker!


————————————————————————————————————————-


An improved version of what I managed to post to the web site Nazis Inc. follows.  ( I mean, You Tube ).

( For the moment, You Tube is somewhat better behaved.  Perhaps their top prude retired.  Or expired, gracing a proper locale with his or her presence:  Hell. )

Dear Dana,

Thank you for your video, “Bonocbl TaHeu. (etc).”

I am slowly learning the letters of the Cyrillic alphabet!  Feel free to make some videos on the Cyrillic alphabet, and how to speak Russian, if you wish.

“Bonocbl TaHeu. (etc).” is one of my favorite videos ever!  Currently, I’m reading a science fiction trilogy by author Isaac Asimov.  Asimov is considered an American author.  However, he was born in Russia.  Unfortunately, Asimov is now dead.  He is regarded as one of the greatest science fiction authors of all time.

Do you know what the Star Wars movies are based on?  My opinion is that they are based on Asimov’s “Foundation” trilogy:  Foundation, Foundation and Empire, and Second Foundation.  ( Skip later books Asimov wrote in this series.  Sadly, they aren’t worth reading. )

If you’re wondering, the above is a prelude to my saying this:

Dana, you are my favorite dancer in the galaxy!  I will also say you’re my favorite actress.  I like the different moods you evoke in “Bonocbl TaHeu. (etc).”

The setting for this video is fabulous.  I saw the ( now ) famous wall of white, dangling Hershey kisses type objects in the background.  Am I viewing the ocean through the picture windows?  Anyway, the view is wonderful.

You are beautifully lit throughout this video.  The music in this video is excellent.

Your dance, and try on haul, videos are superb.  ( So are your videos where you both dance, and do a try on haul, too! )  I hope you do lots more of these videos.

Thank you for your very professional gym video:  “PeanbHaR TpeHNpoBKa Ha HorN, (etc).”

One suggestion:  If you put your hair in a ponytail, please let your hair cover your ears.  You have lovely ears.  However, I love your hair very much, so don’t hide all of it!

Thanks for being the reason I subscribed to You Tube.  I hope You Tube appreciates you.


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  SS, Super Songs, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 4.

Arcana:  This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 4, version 3.0

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Date:  Circa November 13, 2019.
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SS 3     

Super Songs presents...

Up Yours, You Tube!

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by Andrew Roller   

Once again, lovely Dana Taranova, of You Tube and elsewhere, has inspired me to compose a rock music playlist.  This playlist takes note of the troubles imposed on the You Tube channel, “My_ Home”.

I considered deleting my posts to Dana’s You Tube channel, “Danatar”, from this WordPress article.  However, I love promoting Dana, in my negligible way.  If you’ve never heard of Dana Taranova, reading my posts to her, here, might inform you.

And now, it’s time for:


Andrew Roller’s “Up Yours, You Tube!” rock music playlist.


“Step outta line The man come and take you away.”

- Buffalo Springfield


Dear Dana,

The You Tube channel “My_ Home” has been restored to You Tube.  However, only one ( new ) video exists there.  All other videos remain erased, by You Tube’s staff.  Also, as usual, I can only access the video at My_ Home by clicking on the icon, “My_ Home View channel”.  No videos show up if I merely subscribe.

I’m thrilled that you’re surviving on You Tube.  You probably like You Tube.  My opinion of You Tube is:  Up Yours, You Tube!  I’ve created a music playlist to accompany my view.

Don’t worry!  My playlist isn’t just a collection of songs meant to allude to You Tube’s damnation.  If it were, I’d have included this song:

Song:  Round and Round Artist:  Ratt Album:  Out of the Cellar

Some songs on this playlist are there just for fun.  Once again, I’ve tried my best to focus on male singers, since you’re a girl.  This playlist begins with a fast beat.  Later, since you need to cool off after your workouts, the playlist slows. 

I’ve been unemployed for 35 years.  With this playlist, I couldn’t just rely on a sixth sense to get each song to segue into the next.  I ( ugh! ) had to work at getting these songs to segue.  I even had to stop eating Ding-Dongs to do this.  Now that my work is done, I’ll pop open a bag of Cheetos, and eagerly await your next workout video.


Andrew Roller’s “Up Yours, You Tube!” rock music playlist.


I will always recall how You Tube destroyed a young girl’s You Tube channel, My_ Home.  I won’t overlook the fact that the girl only speaks Russian, and likely had no idea why You Tube had targeted her.  ( The real reason:  She’s young and lovely, and You Tube’s “child safety” staff is a bunch of prudish old hags. )

Hence, we begin this playlist with:

Song:  Violet Artist:  Hole Album:  Live Through This

“Violet” is the only song, that I know of, by Hole, that is worth listening to.  However, “Violet” blows the doors off any venue that plays it.  The gym I sometimes go to played “Violet” - once.  I never heard “Violet” there again.  That’s because, of course, “Violet” is real rock music.  Like most establishments, my gym prefers wimpy music ( or rap ).

“Hole” essentially consists of one person:  Courtney Love.  She was married to rock legend Kurt Cobain, until that musical sage decided to improve his looks, by pointing a shot gun at his face.  ( He pulled the trigger. )

*****

As for You Tube, one bad turn ( With My_ Home ) deserves another.  Hence, let’s trigger this song:

Song:  Search and Destroy - Alternate Live Artist:  Sid Vicious Album:  Sid Vicious, Selected Favorites

Note:  The song I chose is NOT “Search and Destroy - Live” (from the same album).  Perhaps you’ll prefer that one; I don’t.

I bet you’ll agree with this:  Wow!  Sid looks great on this album cover.

*****

You Tube thinks it can act with impunity.  I bet it didn’t count on this song:

Song:  Children of the Grave  ( Live 1981 ) Artist:  Ozzy Osbourne Album:  Ozzy Osbourne  Randy Rhoads  Tribute  ( This album will show up as, “Ozzy Osbourne Tribute” if you search for it in You Tube’s music app. )

I can hear it now.  Ozzy Osbourne?!  You expect me to listen to that old, comical guy with a ( former ) series on Music Television ( MTV )?!

In his time, Ozzy was unique.  He had an expansive operatic style that, in my opinion, no other singer could match.  His music was both dark and light.  Ozzy liked a horror approach in his songwriting.  Yet his operatic style filled his tunes with light.

If you want real rock music to fuel your workouts, here it is.  The “Tribute” album is Ozzy at his best.  

This album is called “tribute” because it was released to celebrate guitarist Randy Rhoads.  Rhoads, who performed with Ozzy, had died in a plane crash.  ( Like too many rock musicians have. )

*****

Let’s keep up the adrenaline with more Ozzy tunes:

Song:  Paranoid  ( Live 1981 ) Artist:  Ozzy Osbourne Album:  Ozzy Osbourne  Randy Rhoads  Tribute

Song:  Crazy Train  ( Live 1981 ) Artist:  Ozzy Osbourne Album:  Ozzy Osbourne  Randy Rhoads  Tribute

Crazy Train is probably Ozzy’s most successful song.  Whenever something odd is happening in the news, a news channel will likely play a part of this song.

Song:  Flying High Again  ( Live 1981 ) Artist:  Ozzy Osbourne Album:  Ozzy Osbourne  Randy Rhoads  Tribute

I don’t recommend that you “keep on smokin’ them joints!” as Ozzy does.  However, his exhortation to the crowd in this song makes the live version fun.

*****

I had to build up to Ozzy’s crazy, high adrenaline approach to music.  That took some work.  I was back at work again, at this point in my playlist.  How in God’s name could I decelerate from Ozzy’s music?  You can judge my results:

Song:  Change Artist:  Deftones Album:  Deftones

The movie was titled, “Little Nicky”.  It’s about Satan’s son.  I watched this movie, sometime near the year 2000, on cable T.V.  

Many people walk away from a film when the ending credits begin to roll.  Not me.  The parts of any movie that I like best are the opening of the film, and the ending credits.  

I was greatly rewarded by sitting through the ending credits to Little Nicky.  Various songs were played.  “Change” by the Deftones, startled me.  It is very creepy rock music.  I’d never heard anything like it before.

Of course, the film didn’t say, “Hey, Andrew.  We’re now going to play “Change”, by the Deftones.  I had to study the ending credits, on a VHS tape, to figure that out.  ( The internet wasn’t able to give me such information, at the time. )

Let’s decelerate further, with:

Song:  Never Understand Artist:  The Jesus and Mary Chain Album:  The Jesus and Mary Chain, 21 singles

( This album contains 21 songs, by The Jesus and Mary Chain, that were originally released as “single” records. )

I first heard the Jesus and Mary Chain on the radio.  I liked the song I heard very much.  However, it must have been a tame version of what this band is capable of.  

“Never Understand” isn’t tame.  Watch your ears:  the volume on the song, as originally recorded, is through the roof.  Feedback squeals all over, throughout the song.

I wondered why the Jesus and Mary Chain wanted so much feedback.  Then, I read that they are a band in the country of Scotland.  Scotland is famous for bagpipes ( and men who wear skirts, instead of pants ).

The feedback here evokes the squealing sound of Scottish bagpipes.

As “Never Understand” concludes, you’ll hear agonized screams in the background.  Of course, You Tube’s staff will never understand the concept of youth liberation.  Nor will they ever approve of it.  In “Never Understand”, are the screams those of You Tube’s staff, getting their just deserts?  Just wondering.

*****

You Tube’s total views are now falling.  ( See the You Tube video, “Most Popular Websites 1996 - 2019”.  Posted by:  Data is Beautiful  )  Is You Tube on the:

Song:  Eve of Destruction Artist:  Barry McGuire Album:  The Wrecking Crew!

This is a 1960’s song.  It is protesting America’s war in Vietnam.  If ever there was a time for protest songs, it was the 1960’s.  I was quite young then, but this era had a definite impact on me.  ( Despite my parents’ herculean efforts to the contrary. )

As columnist ( and now liar ) George Will has said, “The acid rain of the 1960’s will be with us for the rest of our lives.”

I am not one to call a person a liar.  However, if you listen to George Will’s “predictions” about Donald Trump’s future success, from 2016 onward, you won’t conclude that he’s simply mistaken.  Will is way too smart for that.  He’s deliberately doing his best to mislead you.  ( Will hates Donald Trump. )

*****

With You Tube in mind, it’s time for another 1960’s protest song:

Song:  For What It’s Worth Artist:  Buffalo Springfield Album:  Buffalo Springfield

Who knew “old” music could be so useful?  As someone once said, “There are no old movies.  Just movies you haven’t seen.”

There are no “old” Dana Taranova videos, either!  I feel there are now three versions of you, that are present in your films:

1.  Young Dana  ( your swimsuit try ons ). 2.  Slightly Older Dana ( videos of you roller skating, etc. ) 3.  New Dana  ( You now seem more serious, in your videos. )

Let’s play some fun songs!

Song:  Magic Carpet Ride Artist:  Steppenwolf Album:  Steppenwolf, The Second

I once visited a home with two kids.  ( They were my age. )  Both kids were excited by the then new band, “Steppenwolf”.  Being “protected” by my parents, I had no hope of sharing their joy in Steppenwolf, except at their home.  

However, I didn’t live in these kids’ neighborhood.  Hence, having arrived at a place I couldn’t otherwise visit, I was only in these kids’ home once.  

I have yet to hear much of Steppenwolf’s music.

*****

Song:  Children Of The Sun Artist:  Billy Thorpe Album:  Fargo Year Two, Songs From The Original MGM / FXP Television Series

The song “Children Of The Sun” predates anything related to a “Fargo” television series.  I recall seeing a much better album cover for this song on the music service “Pandora”.  ( Pandora can be accessed for free. )

I first heard “Children Of The Sun” on the radio of a car, that I owned at the time.  I liked this song very much, and still do.  If you like this song, try watching the ( unrelated ) movie by Steven Spielberg, “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”.  The movie is an adult version of his later film, “E.T. the Extra - Terrestrial”.

*****

Whatever You Tube may do, I’m sure you’ll remain:

Song:  Ready to Go Artist:  Republica Album:  Republica

I first saw this song on MTV’s show, “120 Minutes”.  The program aired once a week, late on Sunday nights.  

120 Minutes played “low rotation videos”.  These were videos by bands that, at the time, nobody wanted to watch, or listen to.  

What sort of artists debuted on, and then disappeared into oblivion from, 120 Minutes?  Bands like Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, and Bush.

In the end, other MTV viewers caught on to my brilliant taste in music.  Nine months after Nirvana appeared on, and then disappeared from, 120 Minutes, they became a huge, sudden success.  

I’m pleased to say that I played a small role in promoting Nirvana.  I did so in a xeroxed pamphlet, which few people bought or read, with a print run of under 50 copies.

Like Nirvana, I’ll probably be a huge success in ( another ) nine months, or so.

*****

Will You Tube remain successful?  “Deleted” songs, and their accompanying videos, continue to infest my You Tube Music app.  These are songs You Tube just served to me, in the recent past.  If anything leads to You Tube’s demise, it will be their ceaseless nannying.  Even an old, fat hippie, who just wants to listen to music, can’t do so undisturbed by You Tube.

Jim Morrison foretells You Tube’s end best, in music:

Song:  The End Artist:  The Doors Album:  The Doors

“The End”, already legendary as a song, was immortalized in a movie.  The movie was “Apocalypse Now”, by director Francis Ford Coppola. 

Jim Morrison, as a singer, was rejected by his father.  Morrison’s father was doing something far more important:  flying planes off an aircraft carrier in the Pacific, to defeat North Vietnam.

Today, the actions of Morrison’s father are regarded as pointless.  So is America’s military involvement in Vietnam.

Meanwhile, Jim Morrison, long since deceased, was celebrated on the PBS program, “American Masters”.

As Morrison’s dad is only known to us, today, because of his son, the same may be true of You Tube.  It may one day be best known for hurting young creators of videos.

*****

I imagine you’ve seen my recent posts to your channel.  If you haven’t, here they are:

Dear Dana,

Thank you for your video, “y4NM TpeHA B Likee (etc)”.

I love your slinky red dress, with the flounces.  

In this video, you come close to the camera, because of some technical dissatisfaction you have, with your music.  Guess what?  These are my favorite parts of your video.  That’s because I love seeing your beautiful face close-up.

It’s fun when you sing along to the prerecorded words in this video.

You seem more serious, as a person, than you formerly were.  Everyone changes.  I love your new self.  However, I loved your previous, crazy self too.  Hopefully, you won’t take life too seriously now.  You are, after all, the fabulous “Danatar”.  


And...


Dear Dana,

Thank you for your video, “Cool workout for the abs”.

I did not know that my abs are trained when I do most any exercise.  Thank you for telling me this!

Lying faceup on the floor, you took hold of a big, heavy kettle bell.  You terrified me, doing that.  My God, I thought, Dana is going to heft that thing over her head!  That is, over your lovely face!  Fortunately, you didn’t do that.  You just used the kettle bell to stabilize yourself.

I did not know that the burning feeling means that I’m doing an exercise correctly.  Thank you for telling me this.  Thank you as well for your other advice in this video.  

It will be great if you put all of your advice in a book someday.  You could publish it at Apple books, as well as on Amazon.  ( Or, perhaps, publishers might bid for it.  You are, after all, the famous “Danatar”. )

I find it amusing when people call you “Danatar”, instead of Dana.  I sometimes do this myself.  You chose an excellent name for your You Tube channel.

I loved your outfit in this video.  

Always remember that I like you just as you are.  You needn’t do anything to make yourself better.  You are a lovely young woman, with a fabulous personality!  


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  SS, Super Songs, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 3.

Arcana:  This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 3, version 1.0

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Date:  Circa November 10, 2019.
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Confessions of a Stud

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by Andrew Roller


Who is that dreamy guy that you see walking by?  The man you were sure was Arnold Schwarzenegger, then Tom Cruise, then Johnny Depp?

Actually, it was me.  Today, you get a rare look inside my life, and my loves.  Cherish the moment.  Normally, I’m the big, silent type.

Dear Dana,

The sky is erased.  There is nothing but pure white, where San Diego’s blue sky should be.  California gets cold in November.  The worst month is January.  Our weather is controlled by the jet stream.  This flows across the mid-section of the United States.  Above the jet stream, there is cold polar air.  Below the jet stream, there is warm equatorial air.

The jet stream has a general flow, but that flow wiggles as it passes from west to east.  When the jet stream dips to or below San Diego, we get hit with polar air.  When the jet stream wiggles north again, we are returned to the tropics’ warm air.

I always dress warmly here.  If I get cold, I get sick.  San Diego’s weather is very location-dependent.  If I’m walking in the sun in July, I get hot.  Then, I turn a corner.  Suddenly, a cold breeze hits me.  As a result, I dress in warm clothing all the time.  People who see me think I’m a nut.  That’s especially true of folks from farther north in America.  Coming to San Diego, they regard our weather as warm.  Then they see me, dressed for the North Pole, in July.  I’ve been stopped by the police.  They think I’m a bum.  That’s because some homeless people, having no place to put their clothes, wear all they have.  

When I was your age, I lived in Guam.  It is a U.S. island in the Pacific.  Some people from “the states”, as the U.S. is called in Guam, nickname Guam “a rock”.  Being in Guam is sort of like being in an open lifeboat, baking in the sun, in the ocean.  Living there, and later in Hawaii, I became accustomed to a high level of heat, and humidity.  

People who have been in Guam awhile speak of “island fever”.  My understanding of this is that Guam changes a person forever.  In their 1977 song, Hotel California, The Eagles sing,

“You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”

For me, that’s true of Guam’s weather.

When I was in Guam, there was little air conditioning.  My school had none.  For years, Guam’s intense heat gave me headaches.  However, after some years there, I became used to the heat.  I left Guam decades ago.  However, I’ve never left my need for its weather.  I wouldn’t survive in Belarus.  I’m not happy with San Diego’s blue sky and sun.  San Diego, in my opinion, is always too cold.

Thank you for your video, “OTBeTbl Ha BOnpOCbl C Likee”.  You have the most beautiful eyes.  I love how big and blue they are!  I also love your new, long pink fingernails.  I adore your little black bat’s ears, in this video.  I don’t yet know what you’re saying, but I love the sound of your voice.  I watched all 17 minutes of your video, and I’m re-watching it now.  

That won’t be the last time!  The videos that you make in your room are some of my favorites.  You look right into the camera, and it’s like you’re in my life.  ( I wanted to say, “it’s like you’re in my room”, but my room is too much of a guy’s room for that. )

You’d probably scream if you came in my room.  Throughout it, there are stacks of cardboard boxes.  Many of these hold books.  There are stacks of magazines.  There are stacks of unopened ( junk ) mail.  I get catalogs from a place called, “the Navy Exchange”.  Occasionally, these catalogs contain a photo of a cute girl, like you.  I have stacks of Navy Exchange catalogs.  I haven’t looked inside them yet, but I don’t dare throw them out.

I vacuumed my room sometime in 2018.  ( I think. )  Dust accumulates on my floor, against the sides of my stacked cardboard boxes.

My bed doesn’t have a bedcover.  I found that too big and bulky to launder.  Various rag-like items are strewn on my bed, to keep me warm when I need them.  I usually lose them in my sleep.

My bed was old when I moved into this room, before you were born.  Now my bed is very, very old.  I don’t own it.  The bed belongs to the building I live in.  The management would replace my bed for me, but I have too many boxes in my room for this to happen.  I’d have to clear the boxes away, before my old bed could be removed.

Hence, my bed sags.  To attempt to prevent this, I jam items between my bed’s mattress and box spring.  I put cardboard paper towel rolls under my bed’s mattress.  I also put large vitamin bottles there.  Plus, I put empty boxes there, that once held Kleenex or trash bags.  

Doing this, I’m trying to keep the surface of my bed flat.  That’s because I also use my bed as a table.  Whenever I have to pile or move things, they go on my bed.  To keep my bed reasonably clean, I lay new garbage bags on it.  Then I pile on my bed whatever I’m moving about, such as cardboard boxes.

I have lots of spiral notebooks stacked in my room.  Anyone coming upon them would throw them away.  That’s because these are “used” notebooks; I wrote in them.  Amazingly, while someone might save new notebooks from my room, they’d chuck the ones I’ve written in.  Who needs writing by Andrew Roller?

I am super pissed-off at You Tube.  They haven’t tangled with me yet, but they’ve done so with girls like yourself.  The You Tube channel My_ Home tried to do a Live chat session this week.  I was watching this, with others, when You Tube’s staff moved in.  They cut off My_ Home’s live broadcast.  Then they erased it, and every video there.  Then they lied.  If you go to My_ Home, you’ll see this:

“No recent activity”

It is a complete lie, by You Tube.  I wrote a scathing blog post about You Tube’s obliteration of My_ Home.

I look forward to the day when you, and Mari Kruchkova, each have your own websites.  I’ll happily pay to join them.

I’m delighted that, in the meantime, you are able to survive on You Tube.

I liked your cartoon additions to “OTBeTbl Ha BOnpOCbl C Likee”.  You don’t need to put any cartoons on your face.  Of course, if you like that, go ahead.  You also might have friends who like it.  I just like seeing you.  ( And dreaming that you’re my girlfriend. )  

Thanks for being the most fabulous girl in the universe!  I love everything about you.

( “Dana”, referenced in this post, is lovely Dana Taranova, of the You Tube channel, “Danatar”. )

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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.
This is Confessions of a Stud issue number 1.
Arcana:  This is Confessions of a Stud issue number 1, version 3.0
—————————————————————————————————————————— Date:  Circa November 9, 2019.
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ET 10     

Editorial Thunder presents...

You Tube Lies

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by Andrew Roller


I’ll be the first to agree that Google is a great search engine.  As a new user of ( the modern version of ) Google, I’ve been stunned to find how much I can discover on it.

However, what if Google is lying to you?  Google owns You Tube.  Today, I caught You Tube lying.  You Tube also continues to savagely abuse one of its creators.

It was seven o’clock in the morning, Pacific Time.  ( What the august inhabitants of America’s East Coast may call, “L.A. time”. )

Being an artist in this region, 7 a.m. was well past my bedtime.  Drugged with sleep ( just sleep, okay? ) I was listening to the Sex Pistols.  I was doing this in You Tube’s Music app.

Suddenly, I received a notification.  The much squelched You Tube channel, “My_ Home”, was broadcasting, live!

Bye, bye, Sex Pistols.  I am pleased to say that I was the first person to arrive, by some length of time, at My_ Home’s channel.

I don’t know the name of the girl who owns this channel.  She writes in Cyrillic.  Perhaps she lives in Ukraine.  She’s about 12-years-old, and a blonde.  ( You can read more about her in my post, “You Tube Censors My_ Home.  ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 9.” )

I once saw a PBS documentary about an unknown girl in Colonial Jamestown.  PBS decided to name her Jane.  As Jane suffered misfortune, and the owner of My_ Home has been ( utterly ) victimized by You Tube, I will call this girl Jane.

Jane, of My_ Home, was indeed giving a live broadcast.  This is called, “Live chat” on You Tube.  The You Tube app invited me to “Chat publicly as Andrew Roller...”  My Google icon, of the sun, was displayed.

I did not chat publicly.  I suspected trouble, from You Tube’s staff.  As You Tube is now a bunch of proven liars, as Facebook’s staff is, I wasn’t ready to tangle with dishonest prudes.

I gave Jane a thumb’s up.  ( Soon to be banned under You Tube’s “expanded child safety policies”. )

With a reporter’s mindset, I began making screen shots of Jane.  I was too sleepy to make a screen recording.  Also, sometimes, when a screen recording is finished, that recording isn’t properly saved.  The whole screen recording vanishes.  ( Apple itself admitted this flaw to me, over the phone.  In Apple’s new iPad OS 13, this problem has diminished. )

Other people arrived at My_ Home to watch Jane’s live broadcast.  Most joined the Live chat.  As always, everyone’s comments were positive, and complimentary.  Many were loaded with lovely emoji.

Jane did what she always does, in her videos.  She delivered a long, heartfelt soliloquy.  She did so with, however, the full knowledge, as always, that she is broadcasting her thoughts to the world.  In her live broadcast, Jane held a microphone to her ( fabulous ) lips the entire time.

She spoke in Russian.  I had no idea what Jane was saying.  I can offer this conclusion:  Jane is likely a born politician, or a born novelist.  You Tube can screw with 12-year-old Jane.  However, as was said, by Marc Antony, in the BBC/HBO production of “Rome”:

“Snow melts.  Snow always melts”.  

Jane, and other 12-year-old You Tube girls, won’t always be 12-years-old.  I doubt they’ll forget how You Tube has abused them.  ( By then, of course, today’s big wigs at Big Tech will be old.  They’ll be in the position of an aging President Nixon, when the young people he screwed sent him packing. )

Jane was happily delivering her live broadcast.  About four minutes into her broadcast, filth arrived.  Yep, that’s my new name for You Tube’s prudes.  “Prudes” is now too pleasant a word for them.  They are filth.

Jane’s broadcast was ended, abruptly.  This happened as she was speaking.

Then the lies began.  I, and whoever was watching, was told,  
“This video is unavailable”.

I went to the home page for the You Tube channel, “My_ Home”.  Guess what You Tube’s filth had put there?

“No recent activity.”

Huh?  Jane had been broadcasting!  I have her video’s title:

MON Be4ep

( This is my best effort to render Cyrillic in english, on an english language keyboard. )

Here comes the next lie about My_ Home, from You Tube’s filth:

“This channel has no videos.”

Wrong!  Prior to Jane’s broadcast, My_ Home had three videos.  I have a screen recording of each of these videos.

As if in a play by Shakespeare, the clowns now arrived.  They arrived in the form of an informational box.  It read,

“What do you think of the You Tube app?”  ( I’m paraphrasing. )  I was encouraged to give the You Tube app five stars.

I gave it one star.

The box asked me to write a review, of the You Tube app.  I was told that this review would be published at Apple’s App Store.

Wow, was I ready to write a review.  God will not be more ready to judge my soul, when I die.

Guess what?  My iPAD’s keyboard was suddenly dead.  Onscreen, in the section of the box meant for a title, I was unable to write any title.  In the section of the box meant for a review, I was unable to write a review.  I couldn’t type a single letter, in that informational box.

I was forced to dispatch my “review” of You Tube with just the lone star, and no words.

I wonder if You Tube’s filth had anything to do with that?

Eight hours later, I’ve revisited what is left of the You Tube channel, My_ Home.  All the lies mentioned above remain.

I found a surprise in my You Tube app’s “Inbox”.  Here, Jane’s video is titled, “My_ Home is live:  MON Be4ep”.  For this video, all that’s left is the standard You Tube image of a deleted video.

I tapped on this image.  I was taken to a new page.  This page features an enlarged image of the standard deleted video image.  Here is what’s written across this image:

“This video has been removed by the user”

Wrong!  I watched as You Tube cut off Jane’s broadcast, and then claimed that her video was “unavailable”.

Poor Jane!  She just joined You Tube on May 1, 2019.  As I recall, at her height ( this November ), she “only” had 1,500 subscribers.  On You Tube, such a number is considered so paltry that someone like Jane can be crushed, by You Tube’s filth.

You Tube cut off Jane’s broadcast.

You Tube destroyed Jane’s video, “MON Be4ep”.

You Tube destroyed the three other videos that Jane had posted to her channel, My_ Home.

You Tube wrapped its actions in lies.

Previously, You Tube had blocked anyone from posting comments to Jane’s channel.

As of now, Jane has no channel on You Tube.  Nothing remains of any of her videos.  Her “channel” is akin to a hole in the ground, with an icon and You Tube’s lies.

I can think of nothing I can do to help Jane, other than to tell you about her plight.  I am obliged to wonder, are there any men left in America?  In the 1960’s and 1970’s, if a 12-year-old girl was being screwed by the authorities, men would have stepped forward.  They would have helped Jane.

I suppose today’s man is satisfied with free porn on Pornhub, and dope.  My understanding is that today’s draft age young men spend most of their time stoned.  I can guess what they’re doing the rest of the time:  jerking off.

( Thanks for your contribution, sir, to our society.  You chose to play with yourself while The Man was fucking over young girls.  Much history will be written about your heroic deeds. )  ( Aim for the toilet when you lose it, okay?  We don’t want to have to clean that up after you. )

I can think of no joke to relieve the invective I’ve hurled.

I doubt we’ll see Jane again, on You Tube.  Hopefully, we’ll see her again elsewhere.

The internet was invented and begun by American tax payer dollars.  A question:  shouldn’t the average American be reimbursed for this effort?  When oil was discovered in the state of Alaska, it was decided that all there should benefit.  Every year, every citizen of Alaska gets a monetary payment.  This is his or her share of Alaska’s exploited oil wealth.  

What about you and I?  Big Tech has made billions.  Don’t you and I deserve some of that money?  Shouldn’t we get a yearly payment, in cash?

Big Tech can well afford to share its wealth with us, in the form of two taxes:

1.  A yearly windfall profits tax.  This was imposed on U.S. oil companies, by the U.S., in the late 1970’s.

2.  A yearly wealth tax.  This would ensure that taxpayers recoup some of their investment that created the internet.

Ordinarily, I am a Libertarian.  However, I see little need for the filth at You Tube to wallow in ( taxpayer funded ) profits.  You Tube could use less money, and more honesty.  If Donald Trump can’t provide this, perhaps Elizabeth Warren can.

In my case, I’ll probably vote Libertarian next year.  I always do.  And yes, I don’t always hit the toilet, when I use it.  However, I do manage to visit Pornhub and, also, do my best to help abused 12-year-old girls.

Will you?


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 10.

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 10, version 4.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa November 9, 2019.
—————————————————————————————————————————-

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SS 2     

Super Songs presents...

Blocked by You Tube

——————————————————————————————————————————

by Andrew Roller


My hope was to post this rock music playlist to the You Tube channel, Danatar.  Thanks to You Tube’s prudes, that proved impossible.  Hence, I will share it with you, a member of my global audience.  With luck, your attention may up my visitor total to 21 people.


Dear Dana,

“DDT did a job on me, “Now I am a real sickie.”

- the Ramones

Sometimes, I go to the gym.  Sometimes, the date is February 29th.  Lately, that’s about how often I go to the gym.

There are a number of reasons for my poor gym attendance.  One is the sort of music that my gym plays.  My gym plays modern, popular music.  I call such music crap.  ( I’m sure there is some great modern, popular music.  I’m also sure my gym won’t play it. )

Watching you work out, in your videos, I often wonder if you’re listening to music.  Do you sometimes get bored with what you’re listening to?  I spent the last several weeks recording some new music for you.  In these wondrous recordings, I played my harmonica.

Then tragedy struck.  My cleaning lady threw out the recording I’d made.  My dreams of rock stardom ( minus a guitar ) were crushed.

You Tube came to my rescue.  I found some songs in their “Music app”, that you might like.  All these songs are free.  Better yet, none feature me.  ( Or my harmonica. )  ( My cleaning lady threw that out too.  She claims this was an accident. )

For your exercise enjoyment, I would like to provide you with a music playlist.  Since you’re a girl, I figured you’d like male singers.  Also, I tried to pick songs with a fast beat; even songs that E X P L O D E.

Caution:  there is some irrelevant swearing in some of these songs, in english.

The order of the references, below, is:

A.  Song title.

B.  Name of the artist.

C.  Name of the album.

1.  Sweet Dreams ( Are Made Of This ) Marilyn Manson Smells like Children

It was the 1980’s.  I was in the hospital.  Nothing worth watching was on T.V., except the new cable channel, MTV.  ( Music Television ).  A lot of the songs on MTV were lame.

Along came a song by a duo called “The Eurythmics”.  The song was called, “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This).”  The song, and video, were a welcome relief from MTV’s pablum.  I enjoyed the song.  Yet, in the musically lame 1980’s, The Eurythmics, and their song, were ultimately just more pablum.

Then came the 1990’s.  The bands Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, and Bush sent 1980’s music to the grave.  ( Where it always belonged.  Michael Jackson has since joined most of his music there. )

Someone else came along, in the 1990’s.  That person was Marilyn Manson.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the ( dead ) movie actress, Marilyn Monroe.  Hopefully, being Belarussian, you haven’t heard of Charles Manson.  He is, thankfully, now dead too.

The singer “Marilyn Manson” conjoined these two names.  ( As you’ve conjoined your names, in “Danatar”. )

Manson’s version of “Sweet Dreams” blows away the Eurythmics’ version.  It helped return rock music to its convention-toppling roots.

2.  Kick out the Jams the MC5 The Big Bang!  Best Of The MC5

This is, perhaps, the best record album cover ever!  ( Not that I’d want to run into these guys on a dark night, and find I’m disliked. )  Welcome to America, in the late 1960’s.  Welcome to the only worthwhile song that the MC5 ever recorded.  ( They needed me, and my harmonica. )

In 1960’s America, the government was drafting young men to go to war.  These men were fighting and dying ( and being maimed ) in a war that Americans now largely regard as pointless.  By the late 1960’s, things were reaching a boiling point.  Hence, the photo of MC5 that you see here isn’t of street thugs.  They’re mad as hell at the government.  This is one reason that the U.S. had to withdraw from Vietnam.  John Kerry, later a U.S. Senator, posed the question best.  In 1971, he said this:

“How do you ask a man to be the last man to die in Vietnam?  How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?”

( The staff at Google’s You Tube is a bunch of censorious prudes.  However, as a search engine, Google is God! )

3.  Los Angeles X   Los Angeles

Have you ever been to Los Angeles?  I’ll take you there, via a band by the name of “X”.  This band’s sound was much welcomed by me in the 1970’s.  Musically, the 1970’s were about as bad as the 1980’s.  

4.  New York the Sex Pistols Never Mind The Bollocks

One is, I suppose, to pay homage to New York, when one visits.  After all, New York is the “Big Apple”, and the superlatives hardly stop there.

Did the Sex Pistols visit New York?  If they did, they must not have been impressed.  After all, they’re British, subjects of a monarch, and not “the inhabitants of America”, as someone scathingly called people in the U.S.

In their song, “New York”, the Sex Pistols destroy any notion that New York is entitled to an homage.

5.  God Save the Queen the Sex Pistols Never Mind The Bollocks

The Sex Pistols, a 1970’s punk rock band, give their British Queen the same treatment they gave New York ( or worse ).

6.  EMI the Sex Pistols Never Mind The Bollocks

EMI was a British record company.  According to Philip Norman, author of the book “Shout!”, EMI was “the Woolworths of record companies”.  ( I’m paraphrasing. )  Woolworths was once a second-rate department store in America.

One day, EMI took a chance on a new band.  Philip Norman says of this band, “it was a novelty band.  You wouldn’t have hired them.”  ( I’m paraphrasing. )

I’m no historian, but my understanding is that, when this novelty band was signed by EMI, the band had already been rejected by several record companies.

The “novelty band” was The Beatles.  EMI, having signed The Beatles, ceased to be “the Woolworths” of record companies.

Along came the Sex Pistols.  Again, I’m no historian, but the Sex Pistols must have been signed, at one point, to the record company EMI.  The song “EMI” is the Sex Pistols’ homage to EMI.  Can you guess what they think of EMI?

7.  Teenage Lobotomy the Ramones Ramones Mania

The Ramones were a 1970’s American punk rock band, that survived for some decades.  In my opinion, nobody paid them much notice until they were gone.  Today, they are revered.  ( And, to a man, dead. )

8.  Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment the Ramones Ramones Mania

Stunningly, lead singer Joey Ramone was, in his youth, forcibly subjected to shock treatment.  Last I heard, this psychiatric “treatment” is still used on people who are considered “real sickies”, by contemporary society.

9.  Beat on the Brat the Ramones Ramones Mania

I once volunteered at a student radio station.  The cool people played music.  The uncool people ( me ) read the news on the radio.  

A warning was always being issued to our DJs.  It came straight from the Federal Communications Commission ( FCC ).  The FCC regulated radio stations, even ours, which the barber shop downstairs couldn’t find, on their radio dial.

The warning to our DJs was this:  “Don’t track the album, man.”  It was felt, by the FCC, that if someone could get an album of music for free, on the radio, that person would never go and buy the album.  The artist ( like the Sex Pistols ) would lose money.

I am ignoring this warning.  I am tracking ( some ) of the album.

10.  Sheena Is a Punk Rocker the Ramones  Ramones Mania

Writing this post, I keep having to leave my writing app to visit You Tube.  My music playlist is there.  Guess what I keep seeing in the top left corner of You Tube’s home page?  A photo, of a teenage girl, in her white bra and panties.  The video advertised by this photo is, “CONJUNTO JUVENIL C13124”.  It wasn’t posted on You Tube in the last hour.  It was posted on You Tube four years ago.  The channel providing this video is “Lolita Lingerie”.

Oh yes, You Tube, you are so holy.  You delete a video of Dana Taranova turning herself into a Gollum-like character, in “ApT OOTO AnR XeNNOYNH”, but serve me Lolita Lingerie.

I wasn’t going to include “Sheena Is a Punk Rocker” in my playlist.  Then I thought, wouldn’t it be cool if you, Dana, were a punk rocker?  Not that I’d lead you astray, with such a suggestion...

11.  Blitzkrieg Bop the Ramones Ramones Mania

I would like to see the former You Tube video, “Dana Taranova Fun Beach”.  There is not any “Lolita lingerie” in this video.

12.  Cretin Hop the Ramones Ramones Mania

13.  Rockaway Beach the Ramones Ramones Mania

Though the Ramones have many fine songs, this may be their best one.  It has traditional emotional depth, as well as a hard rock sound.  Only a real sickie would note the reference in this song to a playground, so I won’t.

14.  Commando the Ramones Ramones Mania

Note the reference in this song to Vietnam.  Yeah!  Nam!  Nixon!  The 70’s!  Taxi Driver!  Pretty Baby!  Oops.  ( Don’t worry, in our modern age, all that matters is videos.  Nobody pays any attention to written works anymore.  After all, reading is hard, and boring.  Video is fundamental. )

15.  The Sound of Winter Bush The Sea of Memories

Gavin Rossdale isn’t as young as he once was, but he’s still fabulous.  The band Bush debuted in 1992.  Critics loathed the band.  Being a real sickie, I loved them, despite the fact that Bush lacks any girls.

16.  Glycerine ( Live )  ( feat. Gwen Stefani ) Bush Bush Featuring Gwen Stefani

Once, I had a moment of fame, with my harmonica.  It happened during this song.  Listen to the crowd, cheering for me!  Sadly, my etude is drowned out by crap from Gavin Rossdale, and Gwen Stefani.

17.  In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida Iron Butterfly In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida

Thank the ( late ) 1960’s for this awesome album cover.  And say goodbye to junk Beatles songs from the early to mid-1960’s.  Plus:  Hot Wheels!  The Hardy Boys!  Wacky Racers!  The Monkees!

In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida became quite popular with radio DJs.  So did Led Zeppelin’s long song, “Stairway to Heaven”.  Both songs are music legends.  Radio DJs, however, adored these songs for a more basic reason.  Playing a song of this length gave them time to go to the bathroom.

Or, if in a gym, to take a long run on the treadmill.

But on to the subject at hand...

Thank you for your video, “MON AnNHHble BOnOCbl )”.

You are amazing!  When your hair is in a ponytail, you look quite young.  When you let down your hair, you are a teenager!  I have never seen anyone who has this amazing range in her appearance.  

Hopefully, Hollywood will call you.  You are a fabulous actress.

I’m dubbing “MON AnNHHble BOnOCbl )” your supermodel video.  You look like a top model on an expensive modeling shoot.  New York’s fashionistas should call you.  ( If they don’t, send them a copy of the Sex Pistols’ song, “New York”. )

I love the set that you’re posing in.  It is perfectly lit.  The faux waterfall of Hershey’s kisses-like objects is choice!  The wall behind you has a lovely granite pattern.

Your outfit is perfect.  So is your bracelet.  I’m going to cherish this video.

A passing question:  will you marry me?  

Okay, I’ll wait until you’re older.

Will you marry me next month?


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  SS, Super Songs, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 2.

Arcana:  This is SS, Super Songs, issue number 2, version 5.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa November 5, 2019.
—————————————————————————————————————————-

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ET 9     

Editorial Thunder presents...

You Tube Censors My_ Home

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by Andrew Roller


Like the Nazi blitzkrieg, censorship is rolling across You Tube.  Here’s the latest news, in the form of two posts.  (Shown farther down.)  I have done some light editing to my posts, for clarity.  

For a full picture of this unfolding tragedy, read other articles on my WordPress web site.

I was able to post successfully to the You Tube channel, “Danatar”.  (However, I was obliged to post to an old video there.)

I was unable to post to any video on the You Tube channel, “My_ Home.”

On You Tube, you might watch the film, “Most Popular Websites 1996 - 2019”.  It is offered by the You Tube channel, “Data is Beautiful”.  This film reports the following:  You Tube’s views are declining.  

Watching “Most Popular Websites 1996 - 2019”, I learned the following:

1.  Once a web site’s views start to fall, that web site eventually dies.

2.  Sometimes, a dying web site can briefly recover.  However, its ultimate destiny is the grave.

You Tube is unlikely to increase its views by pissing off its channel owners, and viewers.  You Tube is owned by Google.

Here are my two posts.

1.  To Danatar:

If you see this post, please excuse it.  I am testing my ability to leave a comment on the channel, “Danatar”.

I cannot post a comment to the channel “My_ Home”.  (Formerly “Pets_ Home”).  “My_ Home” features a girl who writes in Cyrillic, as Dana Taranova does.

I never posted a comment to “My_ Home”, or “Pets_ Home”.  Today, for the first time, I tried to post a comment to “My_ Home”.  I was unable to post a comment to any video there.  Other people have posted comments, in the past, but I cannot.  This is obviously some sort of censorship on the part of You Tube.  

You Tube has never written any negative comment to me.  However, in the past, without making any comment to me, You Tube blocked me from posting any comments to the channel “Danatar”.  Later, You Tube rescinded this block. 

“My_ Home” posted a new video today.  Comments are turned off for this video.  No one can post a comment to this video.

“My_ Home” used to welcome comments.  All the comments I ever saw there were positive, and complimentary.  Hence, You Tube itself is likely blocking comments to the channel “My_ Home”.

2.  To My_ Home

Dear My_ Home,

Thanks for your videos!  I agree with other people who have left comments.  You are very beautiful!  I love it when you have long hair.

I thought you might want a viewer’s comments on your videos.  So, I will try to give some.

I am a You Tube Premium member.  My comments are from this perspective.  Thanks for telling me about your latest video.  I was able to locate it from my “Inbox” on You Tube.

However, I am experiencing an odd thing about your channel.  This may be something that You Tube has done.

1.  I went to the “Subscriptions” area of You Tube.

2.  I am subscribed to “Pets_ Home”.  (Your channel’s former name.)  Don’t worry about this.  I can access your new channel, “My_ Home”, by tapping on “Pets_ Home”.

3.  Today, and previously, I tapped on “Pets_ Home”.  (Your channel’s former name.)  I used to get this response:

“No videos”.

Fortunately, the icon for “My_ Home View channel” was at the top of this screen.  When I tapped there, a new page appeared.  Your videos were there, and I could watch them.

4.  Earlier today, I tapped on “Pets_ Home”.   What I got was merely a listing of the videos available under “All channels”.  None of your videos were shown.

Fortunately, the icon for “My_ Home View channel” was at the top of this screen.  When I tapped on “My_ Home View channel”, I was taken to a new page.  Your videos were there.  However, one video, that used to be there, isn’t there anymore.  I’m not sure if that video had you in it.  It showed a smiling girl with brown hair.

5.  Later today, in “Subscriptions”, when I tapped “Pets_ Home”, I got a blank screen.

Fortunately, the icon for “My_ Home View channel” was at the top of this (otherwise) blank screen.  The results were as before.

6.  Now, when I tap “Pets_ Home”, I again get the videos available under “All channels”.  None of your videos are shown.  However, when I tap the “My_ Home” icon on this page, I am taken to a page with your videos on it.

The videos that are now showing up in “My_ Home View channel” are these:

1.  10 COBeTOB NO yXOAy 3a KpbiCON (plus two rat icons).  ( Those are fun! )

2.  BOnpOC OTbET (plus an icon).

3.  MOR yXaCHaR NCTOpNR (plus an icon).

I only have an english language keyboard.  Sorry for typing Cyrillic in an odd way.

I now hope to offer some technical comments.

1.  10 COBeTOB NO yXOAy 3a KpbiCON (plus two rat icons).

This is a perfect video.  The video quality is excellent.  So is the lighting.

2.  BOnpOC OTbET (plus an icon).

The video quality is excellent.  But:  oops!  Check your lighting.  On the screen, the right side of your face has a lot of light on it.  However, on the screen, the left side of your face does not have enough light.  Try to make sure that your face has the same amount of light on both sides of it.

On the other hand, not lighting your face evenly can be considered an artistic technique.  So, if you like your face this way, that’s fine.

3.  MOR yXaCHaR NCTOpNR (plus an icon).

The first time I watched this film, the video quality was awful.  However, watching it again, I got excellent video quality.  I suppose this is some sort of glitch in You Tube.

“Comments” are turned off on this video.  I am suspicious that this is something that You Tube forced you to do.

There are other girls who write in Cyrillic on You Tube.

1.  Dana Taranova.  Her channel’s name is Danatar.  Dana loves getting comments.  However, her newest videos have comments turned off.  I am suspicious that this is something that You Tube forced her to do.

2.  Mari Kruchkova.  Her channel’s name is the same as her own name.  (Mari Kruchkova).

So far, Mari has escaped You Tube’s apparent censorship.  Comments are turned on for her videos.

I hope to be able to continue to watch, and comment on, your videos.  Don’t worry!  Anything You Tube is forcing you to do isn’t being ignored by me.  I am blogging about this issue elsewhere on the internet.

Hopefully, if needed, girl power will prevail over You Tube.  (By “girl power”, I mean yourself, and other girls on You Tube, like Dana Taranova.  It is still possible for you to communicate with Dana.  Look for one of her older videos, that allows comments.  Post a public comment there.)

I should probably say more about lighting.  I have never been on a professional model shoot.  However, I have seen pictures of them.  On a professional model shoot, each light is on a tall pole.  A “light diffuser” is put over each light, to reduce the glare of the light.  

The “light diffuser” is a sheet of semi-transparent material.  If you should rig something like this up, using household materials, be careful about your “light diffuser”.  The heat of your light bulb could catch a makeshift “light diffuser” on fire.

I am just providing the above as information.  Do your videos however you wish, and I will enjoy them, very much!

( My post ends here. )

Hopefully, a better website than You Tube will come along.  There, all those who create videos will have their videos properly displayed.  They will also be able to receive feedback.


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 9.

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 9, version 3.0

——————————————————————————————————————————
Date:  Circa October 27, 2019.
—————————————————————————————————————————-

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ET 8     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Danatar Victimized by You Tube

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by Andrew Roller


Dana Taranova is about 12-years-old.  She lives in the country of Belarus.  Dana has a channel on You Tube.  Her channel is not on You Tube Kids, but on the main You Tube.  Her channel is called, “Danatar”.

Yesterday, Dana released a new video.  Its title is in her language, Cyrillic.  Rendered in english, her video’s title is, “ApT OOTO AnR XeNNOYNH.”  

Dana obviously did a lot of work on this video.  In it, she transforms herself from a girl, into a creature that resembles J.R.R. Tolkien’s Gollum.  She doesn’t just change her face.  Her whole body becomes a Gollum-like creature.

Today, I was using the You Tube Premium app.  Suddenly, I noticed that Dana’s “Gollum” video had disappeared.  

It was no longer in my “Subscriptions” area, or at “Danatar View channel.”

I moved fast.  I found Dana’s video in my “Downloads” section, of my “Library” area.  I immediately made a “screen recording” of this video.  (Alas, the screen recording has no sound.)

Going to my “Inbox” on You Tube, I found a nasty surprise.  Dana’s brand new video had been removed.  Instead, a grey image was present.  Printed across the grey image was the sentence which follows.  

“This video has been removed for violating YouTube’s Community Guidelines.”

Huh?  I have watched this video more than once.  There is absolutely nothing objectionable in it.

As usual, You Tube does not state which video was removed.  However, I know Dana’s oeuvre pretty well.  I know this video’s (former) placement in my You Tube “Inbox” precisely.

I am becoming infuriated.  On my You Tube Premium app, I’m finding “removed” and “deleted” messages all over the place.  The messages even infest my Music section of You Tube (many times over).  

Who knew You Tube was engulfed in sinful videos?  And why are they blaming 12-year-old Danatar?

In theory, Dana’s video was removed because she left “Comments” turned on.  This means people can comment on her video.  I’ve never read anything but friendly, positive comments in the “Comments” sections of her videos.

You Tube issued its “Upcoming changes to kids content on YouTube.com” recently.  In this section of You Tube’s rules, there is no date.  However, elsewhere in You Tube’s rules, I saw a date of August 21, 2019.  (YouTube Help > Community > Expanding our child safety policies.)

In the “Upcoming changes to kids content” section, You Tube writes,

“We recognize that this won’t be easy for some creators. ... [We’re giving] impacted creators four months to adjust before these changes take effect on YouTube.com”.  (YouTube Help > Upcoming changes to kids content on YouTube.com > Preparing for these changes.) 

I’m writing this in October of 2019.  If one adds four months to late August, one gets a start date of the new year.

You Tube didn’t wait until 2020 to victimize Dana.  They did so today.

Elsewhere, You Tube writes,

“Content that doesn’t violate our policies, but features children, MAY have some features disabled.  This includes comments.”  (Emphasis added.)  (YouTube Help > Content featuring minors.) 

The word “may” does not obligate a creator to banish public comments. 

Elsewhere, You Tube writes,

“You need to consider ... how the age of a child is defined in your country.”  (YouTube Help > Preparing for these changes.)

Hence, while You Tube may consider Dana a “child”, her own country might not.

Elsewhere, You Tube writes:

“YouTube is a general audience site. ... Users may use the service if they are above 13 OR THE RELEVANT MINIMUM AGE IN THEIR COUNTRY.”  (Emphasis added.)  (YouTube Help > Upcoming changes to kids content on YouTube.com > Preparing for these changes.)

In an email, You Tube writes,

“In some countries, we offer Google accounts for children under the age of 13.”  (YouTube Kids > YouTube Kids Privacy Notice > Signing in to YouTube Kids with your child’s Google Account.)  (I include this to note Google’s admission of the variability of what constitutes a “child,” in various countries.)

You Tube is trying to hide behind legislation known as the “Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA)”.  This U.S. law is administered by the U.S. Federal Trade Commission.  COPPA wasn’t passed this year.  It wasn’t even passed in this century.  COPPA became law in 1998.  The most recent revision to COPPA took effect on July 1, 2013.

COPPA lets a parent of a child decide what information You Tube can collect about that child.

Simple, huh?  COPPA is not a license for You Tube to destroy a young creator’s videos.  COPPA is not a license for You Tube to deny public comments about a young creator’s videos.  If You Tube is interested in “protecting” children, why didn’t it implement COPPA in 1998?  Google owns You Tube, and it’s one of the richest companies in the world.  Google had plenty of staff to implement COPPA, if it wanted to.

Instead, Google chose to get away with violating COPPA, for as long as it could.  Now, it abuses young creators, like Dana, as an excuse to “protect” her.

My advice to Dana is this:  you are the artist.  You Tube is just a platform.  My Space was once a hugely popular platform.  It is now dead.  America Online was once the world’s most important platform.  It, too, is now dead.

Any web “service” that abuses children to make up for thumbing its nose at COPPA, for over two decades, as You Tube has, deserves the grave too.


——————————————————————————————————————————-

Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 8.

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 8, version 1.0

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Date:  Circa October 24, 2019.
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ET 7     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Slop Sells

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by Andrew Roller


It was a gloomy, oft - repeated question.  We asked it of ourselves, and each other.

“Why are we wasting our time publishing zines?  This will never amount to anything.”

The word “publish” was overwrought.  For us, it meant going to a xerox shop, making copies, hand sorting them, and stapling them.

My father called my published zines “slop”.  When I moved, some years ago, my aunt advised me to throw everything out, including my zines.

Like others, I published zines in the prior century.  Today, I got a shock.  At businesses I have no connection with, my slop is selling for $125.00.  Each.  I myself could not afford to repurchase my zines.

Posting videos on the internet, you may sometimes feel as we “publishers” did.  Your parents may advise against it.  Folks will caution you about bad things that may beset you.  As You Tube warns, grandma might not like what you post.  This same “advice” applies if you write on the internet, or post photos.

Yes, the world does hold some dangers.  Bram Stoker’s Dracula has a fine scene of the count lingering outside a sleeping girl’s bedroom. 

However, you probably have something to say, as we “publishers” did, in the prior century.  You’re here, now.  People born after this time will never be here, in person.  If you speak up, you’re not just talking to those alive today.  Your words will last to reach those as yet unborn.  Frankly, what you say today will probably outlive you.

Don’t worry about grandma.  Worry about your grandkids.  They’ll want to know what you thought today.  Guess what?  You probably won’t remember, in that future time.  I saw zines today, by me, that I never knew I’d published.  I laughed at a joke I’d made, that I’d completely forgotten.

Give the world some “slop”.  They’ll thank you.  They might even pay for it.


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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  ET, Editorial Thunder, is a trademark of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    

Earlier posts by me are at https://asstr.org/files/Authors/Roller/    

I’m on paper at:  https://www.abebooks.com > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew 

and https://www.abebooks.co.uk > AbeBooks > Roller, Andrew  

I have no financial involvement in these resale items.

This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 7.

Arcana:  This is ET, Editorial Thunder, issue number 7, version 2.0

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Date:  Circa October 24, 2019.
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ET 6     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Screwed by You Tube

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ET 5     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Back from the Dead

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Victorian style erotica.  Reader discretion advised.  This is a work of fiction.

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ER 1    Erotic Romances

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Andrew Roller Presents...

Naughty Naked Dreamgirls in

Meeting Frosty

Chapter One


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Jeff stood by the balustrade on the terrace.  The dying sun had given Venus life.  It burned white hot above the dark sea.  At this remove, the jewel bright stars gave no hint of the galactic war.  

A colonel now, Jeff Carson was on leave from Star Command.  He wore a midnight black tuxedo.  Tall and muscular, the 38-year-old had a bister crew cut.  His handsome face was clean-shaved.

He stood in the warm night with a cold bottle of beer.  Condensate had made the bottle’s amber exterior moist.  Watching the sea caress the beach at the bluff’s base, he was lightly assailed by the soiree’s sounds.  They came mainly from the ballroom adjoining the terrace.

Sliding glass doors separated that room and its porch.  The size of the doors was that of picture windows.  Mauve curtains hid the party from Jeff’s view.  Within, male guests like himself were attired as he was.  Jeff heard gay amused cries from the female guests.  Returning from rooms in the chalet where they had secluded themselves, the ladies were in dishabille.

Each would now be collared by her lover or husband.  To the pink leather collar topaz jewels could be attached.  Each crystalline jewel was hand carved.  Though their hues varied, the design for each was the same.  It was that of the male reproductive organs.  The topaz penis was erect.

The night’s affair was a prostitution party.  Jeff had purchased a handful of jewel dicks from the soiree’s hostess.  To couple with a female guest, he was to pay her.  This was accomplished by attaching a topaz penis to her collar.  The ladies would compete to collect the most dicks, in the widest varieties of radiant colors.

The war’s demands had left Jeff unattached.  He was without a wife or lover to donate to the sex fest.  Buying the dicks for the party’s charitable purpose, he’d departed for the porch.  Its luxurious furnishings, lit by flambeaus, were paired with oval nightstands.  Atop the stands were coital supplies.  These included colored condoms, flavored lubricants, vibrators, and dildos.  Vases of flowers lent grace to the frank displays.  The vases, some of which were antiques, stood upon carved waist-high pillars of marble.  The terrace’s floor was surfaced with the same stone.

Jeff’s groin bulged with expectation.  He hadn’t had a female for some time.  Duchess Elayor, hostess of tonight’s event, had assured him he wouldn’t be out of place.  It was she who’d explained to Jeff the planned proceedings.

“That makes me some sort of stud,” the colonel had objected.  “Fucking mens’ wives in their face.”  He was not yet in agreement with his loins’ intent.  Frustrated, Jeff set his beer aside on a pillar.

The ballroom’s curtains were displaced by a man.  A tuxedo clad servant, his uniform white, he was joined by a second servant.  That man opened the glass door and its screen for a woman.

It was the duchess.  Aged 60, the woman remained as elegant as her ancient seaside chateau.  Her grey-streaked hair was in a bouffant.  Conventional jewelry glittered upon her.  She wore a black decollete gown of kid leather.  It sheathed her once mouth-watering curves.  Her gown, slit to her waist on both sides, gave ample view of her dominant’s boots.  These were black kid leather with spiked heels.

A girl accompanied the duchess.  Venus bare, but stockinged and gloved, bow-adorned and in pumps, the teen clutched a bunny.  It was a comfort toy.  White as her outfit, and wriggly revealed charms, the rabbit had long erect ears.  Their faux interiors were pink satin.

The girl’s sapphire eyes met Jeff’s.  A gasp broke from her wary face.  She blushed, the points of her cantaloupe breasts yearningly peaked.  Her gaze caught Jeff’s groin responsively rising.

Ann Elayor chuckled.  Arm in arm with the girl, she held her hand.  The girl’s blonde locks spilled to her bare flaring hips.  Her lank hair swayed and halo-shimmered as Ann guided her onto the terrace.  Jeff felt obliged to come to the pair.  He met them in the torchlight as the curtains again veiled the ballroom.

The duchess made introductions.  The 14-year-old was a partier’s niece. Katy Fairmount was being furnished to Jeff so he wouldn’t be stag.  

“So you give me a child?”  Jeff asked, disconcerted.  The angelic blonde frowned.  

“Sir, she’s intact,” Ann answered.  A scarlet ferret was the exception to Katy’s bridal-white costume.  The ferret was lace.  Tied high on her slender right arm, the ferret announced her virginity.

“She must be spoilt by morning,” Ann said of Katy.  “Her honor is yours, if you’ll have it.  You needn’t limit yourself to her.  In fact, I forbid this for either of you.  Katy is much coveted.”  

The teen grinned at Jeff in riposte.  Her small teeth were pearls, her pink lips kiss-luring.  Gloss and lipstick highlighted her mouth.  Her young wobbly bosoms jutted, nipples tense.  Katy’s belly was exquisitely slim.  She had a dimple navel.  The teen’s shapely hips had not yet gained the weight and child-bearing width of a woman’s.  Her neatly groomed pubic fleece was a shade yellower than her long golden tresses.  Katy’s pudenda was depilated.  She had an innie vulva.  Puffed and ardor-juicy, her oyster-tight quim was thickly smeared with KY.

“So, colonel,” Ann said, in what amounted to a benison.  “You’ll begin with Katy.  And she with you.  Do not linger.  Katy is collared for the contest.  She will need many topaz penises to win.”

The duchess returned to the ballroom.  Blushing anew, Katy shielded her lubed dell with her hand.  Her hips squirmed as if with impatience.  Indoors, an orgasmic cry surmounted the party’s music-laced hubbub.

Obligation again moved Jeff.  Taking Katy by her naked hips, he sheltered her rabbit-bearing figure.  She was warm as the evening and soft as her silk hose and gloves.  Lightly tanned, her body was printed by an absent bikini.  Katy’s cleft rear was as milk pale as her bosoms.  Her tits pillowed against Jeff.  From the ballroom, more orgasmic cries sounded.  Katy gave an embarrassed giggle.

More than stag status restrained Jeff.  Service in star command wasn’t without briefly snatched pleasures.  Jeff had learned, in bordello assignations, eros’ variants.  Pleasure could be joined with pain.  Release awaited from beatings.  Jeff favored a delicate, curvy waif like the one he now held.  He spoke gently to Katy of his passion.

“Oh!  That’s horrid!” the blonde rightly replied.  Yet Jeff knew Ann’s affairs included such disports.  The bare bottomed girl was unlikely to escape such diversions tonight.

Scoldingly, Katy told Jeff that she’d never been spanked.

“That makes you more tempting,” Jeff chuckled.  Katy answered him with an insulting view of her pink tongue.  Saliva glistened on it.

He seized her outcurving fanny.  Dropping her bunny, Katy stood on tiptoe.  Her gloved arms went surrender high as Jeff’s face bent to hers.  She hugged Jeff’s neck.  Their mouths sought a shared tasting; spit was swapped.  Within the ballroom, a sound of lovemaking prevailed.

His groin hard against Katy, Jeff sought a deeper possession.  His tongue invaded her warm oral redoubt.  She gagged on the depth of his conquest.  Jeff grudgingly let the teen off; she gulped in air.

Some of her swishing mane was pulled high.  It was in a top-knot ponytail.  A lace ferret, virginal white as her outfit, held it.  Katy’s swan neck was bound by a white satin bowtie.  Silver glitter accented its sheen while, beneath, she was collared to receive phallic charms.

Katy’s melon breasts grazed Jeff’s jacket with their points.  

“You don’t got any kids?” she asked.  She’d been told Jeff was single.

“No,” he replied, squeezing her nude flexing behind.  Katy did not know her father.  She opined that he might be displeased if he discovered her here.

“He could spank me,” Katy breathed, her eyes alight at the prospect.  “But I’d have to take it, wouldn’t I?  If it was from my daddy?”

“You would,” Jeff agreed.  He relished the girl’s freshly-bathed smell.  There was a scent of strawberry shampoo in her locks.  Her glowing skin had a lingering odor of soap.  Wafting sometimes from her slit was the lube’s cherry smell, and a hint of her quim-slickening lust.  Hers was the libidinousness of a bride as yet in the chapel:  artless yet curious.

“I want you for my daddy,” Katy purred.  Jeff felt taken aback.

“I am only spending the night,” he averred.

“So you have a whole night to discipline me,” Katy answered.  Her bare front ground against Jeff’s snake-large groin.

He scooped her into his arms.  Supinely cradled, her stockinged legs kicking the air, Katy squealed.  Jeff kissed her mouth.  Katy’s stemming nipples invited his tongue to her lolling breasts.  Her gloves were opera length.  Fingerless, each was met by a lace sash at its apex.  Her sashes were patterned and flounced.  They were lucid, while Katy’s hose and gloves were semi-sheer.  A bow like that at her throat ornamented each of her sashes.  These sparkled on her sashes’ outer flanks.

Katy wore thigh-high stockings.  Garters, near twins of her sashes, topped her hose.  Their showy bows twinkled at the front of her legs.  Her legs were filly long.  Above her garters, her thighs were naked to her lubed, juicy cunt.

Her pumps had stiletto heels.  Ivory-hued, they were patent leather and open-topped.  Katy’s strappy pumps put a slim leather bow at the back of each of her feet.  Her toenails were opalescent.  Katy’s precociously long fingernails gleamed with the same iridescence.

Gold hoop earrings glinted in her face-wreathing mane.  Her face was a pointed oval.  A sheen of gold rouge was on her broad, blush-prone cheeks; her eyes were lightly mascara’d.  The lashes of her elf large eyes were lush.  She had slim eyebrows.  

As for her nose, it was perky as a doll’s.  Her bee-stung lips shared their generous appeal with her teats’ areolas.  The ample halos of Katy’s breasts were bubblegum pink.  Salmon rouge accented her stiff nipples.

Jeff made to exit the porch.

“Don’t leave frosty!”  Katy whined.  She meant her stuffed rabbit.  A gift from Ann to calm her on this, her coming out night, the bunny had snared Katy’s affection.

Jeff returned Katy to a standing position.  Retrieving her rabbit, he thumped it with an annoyed look to her bare joggly bust.  Katy caught his changed mood.  Jeff won a second showing of her tongue, joined by a fart noise and saliva spray on his jacket.

His phone rang.  Taking it from his jacket, Jeff drew Katy close.  Her warm tight waist was inviting to hold.  The thought of marking her bumptious nude hiney played in his mind.  He’d known a soldier who’d branded a whore’s ass in an effort to claim her.  The soldier had been court-martialed.

“Colonel Carson!”  A man’s voice said.  General Raeps spoke from Jeff’s phone.  His location was on the device.

“Sir?” Jeff replied, easing his grip on Katy’s nakedness.  He did not put pleasure before duty.  The blonde hugged Jeff’s broad shoulders.  Frosty dangled from one of her dainty long-nailed hands by his ear.

“Hate to screw up your leave,” Raeps said.  “But we’ve got a problem at Polaris.”  Polaris was code for the troublesome Nohtyp quadrant.  “I’m nearby and could use your advice.”

Jeff assented.  Katy clung to his arm as he went indoors.  The ballroom remained decorously appointed.  Within it, however, carnal chaos reigned.  Coupling was rampant in the room and beyond.  

Katy shrieked.  Hiding her puffed wet quim with her hand, she huddled to Jeff.  A man without pants approached him.

“Through with her?” he gruffly asked the colonel, of Katy.  The bosomy teen gave an offended gasp.  Rubbing his sperm-drippy cock, the man’s intent was clear.  Jeff slugged him when he wouldn’t step aside.

Two more men approached with brandished dicks.  One, grabbing a liquor bottle, upended it as a weapon.  He ignored its contents as they gushed out.

Katy screamed.  Upending her, Jeff put the blonde over his shoulder.  She dropped her rabbit again.  It fell by the heels of Jeff’s black polished shoes as he stepped forward.  Katy hung prone with her bare bottom toward their attackers.

Jeff was hardly a stranger to combat.  He swiftly dispatched both civilians.  Remembering Frosty, he asked Katy, specifically her ass, if she had him.

“Frosty’s a girl!” she replied.  She added that she’d dropped her.  Jeff located and recovered her bunny.

 Holding the toy and bottom-high Katy, Jeff exited the ballroom for the chateau’s foyer.  He encountered two servants and Ann.

“Sir!” she admonished Jeff.  “The child isn’t yours.”

“He’s my daddy!” Katy answered, from her mane-spilling half at Jeff’s back.  Her pale hiney mooned the woman.

“She’s mine for now,” Jeff said of Katy.  The brief fight had elevated his pride.  With this came a will to possess the girl.  Jeff made Ann take Frosty.  He gave Katy’s shapely derriere a walloping smack.

“Yooooch!” the blonde howled.  Her apple round ass clenched and waggled.  She clutched its orbing halves with her hands.  Jeff took Frosty from Ann.  To the hostess he said, of Katy,
“She’ll be returned to you well plumbed.  With a rosy ass.”

“Whaaat?!” Katy shrieked.  Her allegiance abruptly shifting, she begged for Ann’s aid.  Katy’s little fists beat Jeff’s back as her pump-shod feet kicked the air.  Striding with the shouldered teen, Jeff made for the chateau’s double-doored entrance.  Its doorman did not dare give the colonel trouble.

“Daddy knows best,” Ann replied to Katy.  It pleased her that Jeff looked to be giving the child some rough handling.  A girl, in Ann’s opinion, was best broken to love’s demands with such things as a whip.  Or a strong hand.

Jeff left the chalet with ass-high Katy.  The starry night had acquired a moon.  Sickle shaped, it reigned in heaven’s heights.  Crickets murmured on Ann’s front lawn.  They did so amid parked air and space craft.  Jeff’s ship was on the chateau’s broad granite driveway.


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“That’s all there is.  There isn’t anymore.” - Madeline

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Copyright 2019 by Andrew L. Roller.  My wiener was not harmed in the writing of this story.  ER, Erotic Romances, and NND, Naughty Naked Dreamgirls, are trademarks of Andrew L. Roller.  

I am at the following web sites:

1.  https://andrewroller.wordpress.com    I know very little about how to use the WordPress web site.  

Use google.com    or    duckduckgo.com    to surf to my WordPress web site.

2.  asstr.org (alt.sex.stories text repository)    Roller/

Instructions for accessing any author at asstr.org are at my WordPress web site.

This is ER, Erotic Romances, issue number 1.  Collector’s Edition!

Arcana:  This is ER, Erotic Romances, issue number 1, version 4.0

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Date:  Circa October 12, 2019.
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BS 4

the Basement Stud news service presents...

The HOTTEST Girls on You Tube

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Girl Alert - Icy Tenshilcy

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Plus:  Apple Erases My Videos.  You Tube Deletes A Channel, and Many Videos.

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ET 4     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Can Search Engines Find You?

The Good.  The Will Be Good (thanks to you).  And Bill Gates (The Ugly).

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ET 3     

Editorial Thunder presents...

Sneaky Apple

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AI 3     

Apple Info presents...

Sex (stories), and Making Web Archive Documents

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